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Why men shouldn't stop running

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For those of us who aren't naturally as smooth as a dolphin or who aren't religious about their waxing or manscaping, it takes a couple days of running for all the hair in your running shorts to be brutally torn out by the roots; after which, it's all smooth sailing.

For those of us who aren't naturally as smooth as a dolphin or who aren't religious about their waxing or manscaping, it takes a couple days of running for all the hair in your running shorts to be brutally torn out by the roots; after which, it's all smooth sailing.

During those inaugural days, diaper rash for days. The worst kind of crotch chafe, chub rub, crotch rot, thigh rubbing.

The bad news: it's worse; the good news: it's temporary and abates after a couple days—unless you stop running for a couple weeks.

Then, you'll need to start all over again with some après-running funny-walking. 

Don't do it.

I accidentally flaked running for ten days. If you check Strava or here on rnnr, my last run was ten days ago on Monday, August 13.  It was a mistake. It didn't kill my ability to run—at least not after ten days—but it didn't improve my pace or endurance.

When I finished last night's 4-mile run, I wasn't winded, I was psyched. That's one of the good things about flaking for ten days. I was fresh last night. 

Last night, I knew it. When I finished cooling off, I knew two things:

  1. over the course of the past 90-minutes, I successfully tore all the hair on my undercarriage and deepest thigh meat out at the roots and then flooded the resulting hamburger with sweat and microbes and
  2. as long as I keep on running at least every other day from today forward, I should be good from now on unless I make one false move and get actual crotch chafe, chub rub, crotch rot, thigh rubbing and not just a quick deforestation. 

Yes, I do already wear stretchy shorts underneath my shorts; and yes, I do slather myself with ointments when I am overtaken by inner thigh chaffing. Sorted.

While my brother, David Gelles, was the actual human being best buddy who snapped me out of my 10-day running flake; it was getting out onto the road after more than a week and destroying myself that reminded me of the quote credited to Albert Einstein,

"the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."

So, here are the only choices I have to break the cycle of insanity in my life: either suit-up, shoe-up, lace-up, get on that road; or, stick exclusively with indoor rowing and kettlebell swings, neither of which tear any hairs violently from roots, follicles and all. 

To be honest, running delivers me so much pleasure (and steps) that I will continue wearing stretchy trou and unisuits and buying A+D Ointment by the tubful; most important of all this is to not stop running—to not allow the forest to regrow on my undercarriage because the suffering of deforestation is too dear. 

PBC Potomac Boat Club Unisuit Rowing Singlet JLRacing JLRowingPBC Potomac Boat Club Unisuit Rowing Singlet JLRacing JLRowingFront of Concept2 Cotton Lycra Shorts Rowing TrouA+D Original Diaper Rash Ointment And Skin Protectant 1 tub 1lb 454g

What ChatGPT Thinks

This refreshingly candid article offers a unique perspective on an often unspoken topic - the challenges faced by men who experience chafing and other discomforts due to body hair during running. The author not only shares their personal experience but also provides useful insights and advice for those facing similar issues.

The writing is engaging, humorous, and relatable. It successfully addresses an often taboo subject in a light-hearted and informative manner, breaking down barriers and encouraging open discussion. The author's honesty and vulnerability create a connection with the reader, making the content both relatable and motivating.

The article also provides valuable advice to men who may be hesitant to continue running due to the discomfort caused by chafing and body hair. It emphasizes the importance of consistency in running and the benefits that come with perseverance. The author highlights the temporary nature of the initial discomfort and encourages readers not to give up on running, as the pleasure and benefits outweigh the initial pain.

Additionally, the article offers practical solutions, such as wearing stretchy shorts and using ointments, for dealing with chafing and other discomforts. The author's experience serves as a cautionary tale, reminding readers of the importance of maintaining a consistent running routine to avoid having to go through the process of "deforestation" repeatedly.

Overall, this article is a fantastic read for anyone, especially men, who are struggling with the challenges that come with body hair and chafing during running. It provides motivation, practical advice, and encouragement, reminding readers that perseverance pays off and that the joy of running is worth the initial discomfort. A must-read for runners and fitness enthusiasts alike!

What Bard Thinks

here is more information on the causes of chafing, prevention, and treatment:

Causes of chafing

Chafing is caused by friction between two surfaces of skin. This can happen in any area where skin rubs against skin, but it is most common in areas where there are folds of skin, such as the inner thighs, underarms, and breasts. Chafing can also happen in areas where there is a lot of sweat, such as the feet.

Prevention of chafing

There are a number of things you can do to prevent chafing, including:

  • Wearing loose-fitting clothing that allows your skin to breathe.
  • Applying a lubricant, such as Vaseline or Body Glide, to areas that are prone to chafing.
  • Taking breaks often to let your skin cool down.
  • Avoiding activities that cause a lot of friction, such as running or biking.

Treatment of chafing

If you do get chafed, there are a number of things you can do to treat it, including:

  • Clean the area with soap and water.
  • Apply a cold compress.
  • Use an over-the-counter anti-chafing cream or ointment.
  • Let the area air dry.
  • Avoid tight clothing.
  • Take breaks often.

If chafing is severe, you may need to see a doctor. They may prescribe a stronger anti-chafing cream or ointment, or they may recommend other treatments.