SEO is full of mirages—metrics that seem important but aren’t, keyword strategies that promise results but don’t, trends that flash and disappear like runway fashion.

I call it SEO dysmorphia—a condition where businesses, marketers, and even some SEO professionals see their websites as they want them to be, not as they actually are. They obsess over rankings that don’t convert, keyword density that doesn’t matter, backlinks that don’t move the needle, and bloated blog posts nobody reads—all while ignoring the fundamentals that actually make a website strong, stable, and valuable in the eyes of Google.

• You can hire me right now via my freelancer page on Upwork or set up a 30-minute call with me via Calendly.

The SEO Mirror is Warped

Most businesses have some form of SEO dysmorphia. They look at their site and see the suit they want to wear, not the suit that fits. They try to:

• Cram their foot into a shoe that doesn’t fit (overstuffing pages with keywords that don’t belong).
• Contour their way into looking like something they’re not (chasing high-volume keywords that have nothing to do with their business).
• Obsess over their Google Search Console performance like a bathroom scale (freaking out over minor dips instead of looking at the big picture).
• Buy cheap accessories and hope nobody notices the suit is falling apart (backlink schemes, AI-generated content dumps, and “SEO hacks” that scream desperation).

Meanwhile, Google is just staring at the site with a blank expression, thinking:
"You know I can see the real you, right?"

And that’s the thing—Google doesn’t care about your self-image. It cares about your structure, clarity, and usability.

That’s where Bespoke SEO comes in.

The Bespoke SEO Approach: Stop Chasing, Start Fixing

Imagine going to Savile Row to get a suit made. The tailor doesn’t ask what styles you like from last season’s runway. They don’t tell you to lose 20 pounds before they measure you. They work with what you have—your frame, your posture, your movement—and craft something that fits, flatters, and functions.

That’s what Bespoke SEO does.

1️⃣ We take your site as it is. No illusions, no filters—just real analysis of what’s working, what’s broken, and what needs reshaping.
2️⃣ We fix what Google sees. Not by faking it, but by making sure the version of you that Google encounters is the best possible version of reality.
3️⃣ We align your goals with actual search behavior. No more chasing after rankings that don’t convert. No more optimizing for audiences that don’t exist.

This isn’t crash-diet SEO, where we pump up traffic with quick fixes that disappear in the next algorithm update. This is long-term, well-structured, Google-aligned SEO that holds up over time.

Because the truth is, Google doesn’t need to be tricked—it needs to be reassured.

The SEO Dysmorphia Recovery Plan

You don’t fix SEO dysmorphia by chasing a different illusion—you fix it by doing the work:

Step 1: Face Reality (Even If It Hurts)

SEO therapy starts with an honest look in the mirror.

• Is your site actually fast, or just fast enough that you don’t notice the lag?
• Is your content actually good, or just wordy?
• Does your navigation actually make sense, or do people get lost?
• Are people converting, or just passing through like tourists?

If what you see in Google Analytics doesn’t match what you think your site is, you have SEO dysmorphia.

Step 2: Stop Dressing for a Body You Don’t Have

Your business is unique. Your site has a history. Your SEO should reflect who you are now, not who you think Google wants you to be.

• If your site is pokey, we make it faster.
• If your content is a mess, we refine it.
• If your structure is confusing, we clean it up.
• If Google doesn’t trust you, we rebuild that trust.

No gimmicks, no artificial stuffing—just solid, well-built SEO that fits your actual needs.

Step 3: Get Google to See You Clearly

Google doesn’t work on vibes—it works on patterns, structure, and trust signals.

If your site is sending mixed signals, Google hesitates.

• Pages that load slowly? Google assumes low quality.
• Too many redirects, missing metadata, broken internal links? Google assumes mismanagement.
• Keyword-stuffed, AI-generated filler content? Google assumes spam.

Google isn’t punishing you. It’s just uncertain—and in SEO, uncertainty is death.

Bespoke SEO removes the uncertainty.

• A well-structured site is easy for Google to crawl.
• Well-written, properly formatted content is easy for Google to understand.
• A fast, accessible site is easy for users to love.

And when Google understands, trusts, and loves your site—rankings follow.

Savile Row SEO vs. Trend-Chasing SEO

Most SEO today is fast fashion—mass-produced, built to chase quick trends, and completely disposable when the next algorithm update hits.

Bespoke SEO is tailored to last:

The difference? One is performative. The other is practical.

SEO That Moves With You, Not Against You

A great bespoke suit doesn’t just look good standing still—it moves with you, fitting effortlessly as you walk, stretch, and live in it.

Your website should do the same.

✔ Built to be fast now, and stay fast as it grows.
✔ Structured for today’s SEO, but adaptable for tomorrow’s updates.
✔ Designed for Google’s expectations, but focused on human users.

This isn’t a temporary fix, a crash diet, or a rankings trick.

This is real SEO work—for real businesses, with real websites, that want real results.

You ready to do the work?

• You can hire me right now via my freelancer page on Upwork or set up a 30-minute call with me via Calendly.