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it is christmas again and i am working here on this little aero. woke up early after staying up until 3:30 AM watching a pretty wild movie. a new zealand and australia collaboration. a film about a boy a seer who knows how best to stop the plague from attacking his town. destroying his town with boils and sickness and ill. high fevers, hallucinations, scarring despair. the visions of a boy, a mere lad. dreamers will be clothed in rags. alas what type of dream is what I am curious about. what sort of dreamer? sometimes i fear that my dreams will no longer come the way that have come before. and do i want them to come like they have done or is there a new membrane to force myself through like a fetus? fetal; fetus; fertile, fertility. should i just get a wife should i just procreate like jody and call my first wife roadkill? roadkill? or like david? like roadkill? a very unique life within which i swim like maybe not a dolphin but like a dog. whaich rules to follow because there are rules or guildines.

Guidelines? Restrictions? Stipulations. Inhibitions. Resignations. Duped. Maligned. Strangled. Restricted. Repulsed. Disinformation. Misinformation. you said you body was young but your mind was very old. and my spirit is very old; and my body is young but looks older, looks derelict. looks abused and maligned as though there is very little care. and yet it is in my hands, it is my own abuse not unlike any other, like any other. simplicity. simplity. say it quickly. say it more succinctly. say it with less adjectives. say it surely, get to the point and startle your reader with your wise insights. wise ass insights. wise ass beyond my years. why do i insistantly believe that i am so witty? where is the wit, where is the wit's end and does my humour appeal to anyone besides mark and me? he doesn't find my humor so funny as he finds it absurd. its a start. maybe i should write a troubled.

©1996 Chris Abraham