My relationship with alcohol

The saints never indulged themselves in the pleasures of good cheer. Their pleasure was to feed on Jesus Christ! Let us follow their footsteps on this earth, and we shall gain the crown which they have in Heaven.

For women, low-risk drinking is defined as no more than 3 drinks on any single day and no more than 7 drinks per week. For men, it is defined as no more than 4 drinks on any single day and no more than 14 drinks per week. NIAAA research shows that only about 2 in 100 people who drink within these limits have AUD.

I don't know. When I lived in Germany and the UK and traveled throughout the world and Europe, going to the pub was extremely normal. When I spent a summer in Finland, every dinner was initiated with a pre-meal shot of vodka. Dinner often came with wine and then maybe an after-dinner drink. And, of course, pub life in the UK and the Biergarten life in Germany.

I mean, don't restaurants make most of their revenue from wine, beer, and liquor?  That I even have local places, including L.A. Bar & Grill and Taqueria el Poblano, is a hint towards having a problem. They're both my favorite places to grab a cheat day bite. I am usually there between as early as 4PM or maybe six or seven, and then off in an hour.

At the end of this ramble, I am no longer sure if I have a drinking problem or if I drink realistically (based on what people tell their doctors and pollsters versus what they actually do at home). I guess seeing the way people drink on TV is telling but not realistic; and, if you go to a bar, that's where the drinkers are; so, of course, drinking is normalized when you're out at a restaurant, a pub, or bar. 

Given the choice between abusing my health with alcohol or coffee, I will choose coffee every time. If I need to give up coffee and alcohol in order to hold onto a normal sinus rhythm and long-term health, I will do; though, unless I can get my head, heart, and body all sorted out, I can almost guarantee very human slips and fails. I ache to want to say that that won't be the case and, as of now, I am stopping drinking, full stop, and will, from now on, neither overeat nor will I indulge in Gluttony.  I don't know if that's a promise I can make; I don't know if it's a promise I even want to make; however, it's a goal I, indeed, want and need to aspire to, starting today.

So, what do you think? Am I in denial? I mean, both my parents drank way too much. My dad was never a mean drinker, but, after 5PM, he would sip on cheap plastic bottle scotch and ice all night long while smoking Viceroy gold cigarettes. Or, haging out with his staff and models and friends at the Waikiki Yacht Club or the swanky top floor bar with all the Cougars and Manthers. My mother, on the other hand, was a terrible, dark, and haunting drinker, as was her mum, I am told. 

My dad introduced my mum to the drinking life when they started dating in Manhattan and it became an addiction; and, the further she was from the NYC high life, the more she fancied her Tanqueray on the rocks.  I am my mother's son; I am my father's son. Am I, though, an alcoholic? Actual bread is more of my daily bread than beer, wine, or liquor. I actually go to L.A. Bar & Grill more for the Grill than for the Bar. 

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. At the end of the day—for actual life and death health reasons—I need to get as close to zero as possible. And, when it comes to eating, portions, and food, the asceticism of the kind that Saint John Vianney recommends may be my new religion. Inshallah. 

Thanks for reading this far: 1,517 words! I appreciate you!