According to an online quiz on Details, “Are Your That Guy,” I am totally that guy: a total douchebag, apparently.

1 You initiate fist bumps.
Yes
No

Someone told me that high-fives are passe so I have replaced them with bumps and regular, manly, handshakes.

2 You order foreign dishes in an accent.
Yes
No

I ask for foreign dishes, yes, properly. If the dish is French then I order it in French and if it is Mexican, I pronounce it in Spanish. And in Germany, I sort of need to order it in German. If you do it right, you don’t really draw much attention to yourself.

3 You shave your head at the first sign of balding.
Yes
No

I would totally either shave my head or crop it close if I started balding.

4 You use any word Stephen Colbert invented.
Yes
No

I use as many words as I can remember if they were coined by Stephen Colbert.

5 You have an elaborate bedtime ritual on planes—with neck pillow, sleep mask, and noise-canceling headphones.
Yes
No

People with sleeping rituals of any kind need to lose their guy card immediately.

6 You have a downloaded ring tone.
Yes
No

I am quite amused with classic, normal, default ringtones; however, I really enjoyed sporting the “bring out your dead” skit from Monty Python.

7 You wave someone along even though they have the right of way.
Yes
No

I think I have forgotten who actually does have right-of-way at 4-way intersections, so if I feel like I arrived a millisecond later than another, I will wave and wave.

8 You say the name of the town where your Ivy League alma mater is located instead of the name of the school.
Yes
No

If I had actually gone to an Ivy League school, I would totally say New Haven or Boston or wherever.

9 You own a Manchester United jersey.
Yes
No

No, I am afraid not. I almost bought a Norwich Canaries jersey but decided not to.

10 You quote Borat, Zoolander, or Anchorman, or reference “TPS reports” and “pieces of flair.”
Yes
No

I don’t have the best memory for these things but I made a Zoolander reference just the other day — a Blue Steel reference.

11 You put your BlackBerry on the table when you sit down at a restaurant.
Yes
No

Yes.  In fact, all of my friends deBerry and dePhone the moment we sit down for food — not to show off but because I always have too much shit in my pockets.

12 You talk baby talk to your girlfriend on your office phone.
Yes
No

I don’t have a girlfriend presently but all indicators point to “yes.”

13 You offer to buy a cigarette from people outside bars.
Yes
No

No, I have too much of a problem with entitlement — I would never offer to buy.

14 You order “off-menu.”
Yes
No

Food isn’t really my bag and restaurant-going isn’t my bag, and I am pretty much omnivorous, so, like a diesel, I can run on anything.

15 You own a reptile.
Yes
No

Spike, God rest your little soul

16 You say “My bad.”
Yes
No

I hate that I say this. My bad.

17 You describe your relationship status by saying “It’s complicated.”
Yes
No

With me, it always is.

18 You say “We’re pregnant.”
Yes
No

I would love to say this — I will totally be that guy, if that guy says, “we’re pregnant.”

19 You have destination-related car stickers like MV, NTK, PVT, HMP, or NPT.
Yes
No

I might actually get myself a vanity plate. I never have, yet, but I aspire to.

20 You make a show out of tasting wine.
Yes
No

I tried to make a point of being fussy over coffee and cheese, but what’s the use.

21 You preface statements with “spoiler alert.”
Yes
No

I am Mr. Online and have been beaten down by spoiling, so I have learned my lesson.

22 You don’t wash last night’s admission stamp off your hand.
Yes
No

I am not likely to scrub off the thing.  Does that mean I am preserve it or am I just dirty?

23 You use abbreviations like TBD, ASAP, and BFD in conversation and sign off e-mails with “thx” or “cheers.”
Yes
No

I have been signing emails with “Cheers, Chris” forever.

24 You wear flip-flops, Croakies, Crocs, or board shorts in the city.
Yes
No

My only excuse here is that I grew up in Hawaii and I never used to wear flip-flops (rubber slippers) in the city until it because ubiquitous.

25 You have a nighttime wardrobe that includes a going-out shirt, concert merchandise, or limited-edition sneakers you bought in Tokyo.
Yes
No

I pretty much wear a uniform, no matter what the situation. I have “dressed up” and “dressed down” and “dressed up with jacked.”

26 You say “I need my Starbucks.”
Yes
No

It might sound a little prissy until I tell you that most of the coffee you drink, especially from Dunkin’ Donuts, is really a lot lot worse than Starbucks. You may think Starbuck’s coffee is “burnt” but the truth is, you just have poor taste in coffee. You’re decidedly “truck stop” class.

27 You refer to the woman you’re casually hooking up with as a “friend with benefits.”
Yes
No

28 You pretend not to know who Spencer Pratt is.
Yes
No

I actually don’t know who Spencer Pratt. How do I answer? Yes or no?

29 You offer advice to women on their “form” at the gym.
Yes
No

30 You call friends and colleagues by their last names.
Yes
No

I call David Gelles “Gelles” — but one is enough. I should start colling Andrew Curry, “Curry,” but I don’t.

31 You refer to a date/girlfriend’s having done some “print work.”
Yes
No

I am not much of a modelizer.

32 You describe anything good as “sick.”
Yes
No

I have referred to things as “sweet,” — where does that fall?

33 You refer to your wife as “the ol’ ball and chain” and say “I’ll take the request to management.”
Yes
No

I might never refer to my wife as my wife.  She is “Stephanie” or “Michelle.”

34 You refer to a trip to the gym as a “legs day.”
Yes
No

35 You go to a show to see the opening band.
Yes
No

If I like the opening band, I go to a show for the opening band.

36 You think Hayden Panettiere is hot.
Yes
No

As a huge Heroes fan, who in the hell wouldn’t think that  Hayden Panettiere is hot?

37 You put your kid in a Che Guevara T-shirt.
Yes
No

I love Che.

38 You include the names of your kids and pets in your home outgoing message.
Yes
No

I would, the moment I can find a woman who might be willing to breed with me.

39 You refer to money as “Benjamins,” “dead presidents,” “ducats,” or “coin.”
Yes
No

I like to be as colloquial as possible when it comes to coin.

40 You bitch about your contractor at parties.
Yes
No

I totally bitch about my contractors, who are actually employees!  Not a lot of bitch about these days — they’re a well-oiled machine, yo.

41 You talk about a record “dropping.”
Yes
No

I am actually old enough to remember when you would stack records on a record player and they would drop down, get played, and then another would drop, and it would be played, too.  The “record” version of a multi-CD player.

42 You half-tuck your shirt.
Yes
No

I think the half-tucked shirts look cool but I am not cool enough to pull it off.

43 You have a goatee.
Yes
No

I am either clean-shaven or I have a beard — sometimes, just scruff.  Never a goatee. Back in the day, though, my girlfriend Michelle demanded her beoyfriends have goatees (what’s up with that) and I complied.

44 You refer to anything as “small-batch” or “artisanal.”
Yes
No

Like I mentioned before, I was well into cheeses and into hams and into other foodie things and I was very much into getting as many whole milk cheeses as possible. And, when you want to get whole milk goat cheese of and elite quality, you need to go “artisanal.”

45 You refer to any last-stop bar as “the 19th hole.”
Yes
No

I refer to as many things as possible as “the 19th hole.”

46 You’re a Caucasian with a tattoo in Asian lettering.
Yes
No

Tatoos appal me.

47 You Evite.
Yes
No

I have Evited people for years and year by now. I love it.

48 You own a wine Rabbit.
Yes
No

I am a huge fan of the very basic “Waiter’s Friend” or the Laguiole knife/wine opener.

49 You proselytize about carbon footprints.
Yes
No

I am very anti-climate change hypocrisy.

50 You name your kid after a character in To Kill a Mockingbird.
Yes
No

My son or daughter will surely be named after some character or actor. I am a huge film-lover and also have a degree in American Literature with a minor in creative writing. It is bound to happen.

51 You use the phrase flyover states.
Yes
No

52 You use the word bicoastal.
Yes
No

Yes, but when I use the term bicoastal, I mean American and Europe; Washington, DC, and Berlin, Germany.  Bicontinental, I guess.

53 You pretend to like country music.
Yes
No

I actually do love country music, especially bluegrass.

54 You wear DJ headphones.
Yes
No

Nope. Just simple buds.

55 You use a Bluetooth headset.
Yes
No

I drive in Washington, DC, and do most of my conference calls enroute. I own two bluetooth headsets: a Motorola and a Jawbone.

56 You call muscle groups by shortened versions of their technical names, like “lats,” “traps,” and “pecs.”
Yes
No

I used to be a wrestler and also a college rower, so you sort of just do call them traps, quads, lats, pec, etc.

I just spent some time setting up my own CokeTag for my Facebook Profile after hearing about it from CC Chapman.

What I like about it is that it isn’t nefarious. One just sets it up to reflect one’s interested, passions, properties, and there you go! There’s a lot of fun there because you can set up the CokeTag to reflect who you are, instead of just biting everyone and sucking their blood. So, I chose to reflect myself through my favorite TV shows, movies, sites I own, sports I do, and my favorite foodie sites. Then, after you install the CokeTag application, set it up, and so forth, you can start grabbing other people’s CokeTag or you can even check out who is checking you out via the Click Tracker. At the end of the day, I don’t have the vision for the CokeTag application; however, CC does and so here’s what his vision is,

“Trying to make people realize how kick ass this would be for musicians to create a CokeTag and then fans can take it and share it on their sites. or a brand could.”

Here’s the Social Media News Release for the campaign…

Coca-Cola Launches CokeTag Facebook Application With Olympic Tie-In

 

CokeTag Application Empowers Anyone to Promote Themselves and Their Interests With a Do-It-Yourself, Portable Application.

June 6, 2008

Facts

What is a CokeTag?

• A CokeTag is a personal, customizable widget for individuals, bands, bloggers, artists, and companies to share links to content they want to promote and drive traffic to anywhere on the Web.
• Empowers users to bundle links to on- and off-Facebook content in an attractive convenient package, which is associated with and accessible from their Profile or Fan Pages and shared via Facebook private messages or Wall posts.
• Coca-Cola released CokeTag to provide an engaging and relevant online experience for consumers. The useful application is another way that Coca-Cola is leveraging innovative technology and social media to reach consumers where they are increasingly spending time online.
• One of the first uses of a CokeTag will be to promote the we8 recording artists. we8 is an artistic and cultural exchange, uniting eight of China’s most exciting artists and design firms with eight of the West’s most progressive musicians to design a vision and soundtrack that celebrates the infinite possibilities that await when the doors are flung open from East to West. The we8 program is being launched as part of The Coca-Cola Company’s 2008 Bejing Olympic Games marketing activities.
• The CokeTag application is being launched as a beta. Among others, the goal is to watch, listen and learn from consumers to determine how the community wishes to use the application and to gather suggestions on how to improve it as it expands outside of Facebook.
• The Coca-Cola Company aligns itself with delivering the promise of a cross-platform web experience, consistent with Coke’s brand value of bringing people together for social connections across cultures.
• CokeTag is the result of a partnership between The Coca-Cola Company and Linkstorm, which is an advertising technology company that is pioneering a new approach to social networking, online marketing and publishing.

Benefits and Features

• Includes a self-service editor that puts the creator in control of the CokeTag content and skin.
• Every CokeTag packs several levels of easily navigated, expandable menus in a stylized, compact design that allow visitors to instantly navigate to specific content that they are interested in and want to see more about.
• The built-in click tracker lets creators know every time someone looks at their CokeTag and which links they visited. This data is only viewable to the creator of the CokeTag.
• Sharing and posting features facilitate viral distribution via highly targeted personal networks for friends and fans.

Distribution

• Initially built for Facebook, the plan is to allow for a CokeTag to live beyond those walls and will soon be available across OpenSocial sites (i.e. MySpace, Bebo, etc.) and eventually to the greater Internet on Blogging platforms and elsewhere. The goal is to empower users with ubiquitous Web distribution for sharing the information that matters to them and maintaining it one place.
• Facebook users can add a CokeTag to both their personal profile as well as to any Facebook Fan Page. This opens it up so that a company, band or special event can build a CokeTag full of links about them and then fans can take that CokeTag and add it to their own profiles.
• Current Facebook distribution options includes:
  • Create and post your CokeTag on your personal profile page
  • Create and post a CokeTag to any Facebook Fan Page you administer
  • Grab and post any CokeTag that you discover on to your own personal profile
  • Send a CokeTag as Facebook e-mail attachment
  • Post a CokeTag as a Facebook Wall post

Quotes

Attributed to Michael Donnelly, Director, Worldwide Interactive Marketing, The Coca-Cola Company :

“The Coca-Cola Company’s social networking approach has been one of very sincere respect for the communities we participate in. We prefer to politely enter and let the already existing ecosystem help guide us in the right direction as we continue to learn what works best for our brands.”

“I’m excited about the CokeTag program, because while we are starting small and simple, we look forward to quickly growing it beyond Facebook with feedback, advice and counsel from consumers.”

“While Facebook may be the starting point for CokeTag, it is only the beginning. We are excited to be working towards the potential of expanding the use of the CokeTag application throughout the web and we are now working on the best way to leverage the OpenSocial platform. We are looking forward to the day when anyone could potentially create a CokeTag and have it on all of their social network profiles and their blog and only have to worry about updating it in one place. That excites me.”

“We made a distinct decision not to overly brand this application.  We want this to be a helpful utility that connects consumers in a way that is all about them, not us.”

Attributed to David Sidman, Founder & Chief Executive Officer, Linkstorm:

“Coke is the inaugural partner of our Portable Universal Profile (PUP™) platform for social media. Their vision and commitment have brought the platform to life in the form of a CokeTag. The platform is a unique way for brand marketers and advertisers to add great value to social media users’ experiences with a fun, unobtrusive and useful tool.”

“Unlike many other social media marketing programs which force themselves between the users and what they really want to be doing, the PUP enables the brand to become a conduit for user communications.  The brand message can be as subtle as the sponsor and its community may wish, but the application is designed to enhance the user experience of connecting and sharing with friends without intruding”

Multimedia

In addition to the website, www.coketags.com ,we have assembled the following links and multimedia that will assist you in informing others about the application.
IMAGES

• Musician / Band CokeTag
• Sci Fi Fan CokeTag
• Causes CokeTag
• Triple CokeTag Shot

• CokeTag Logo
• Coca-Cola Banner
• The Coca-Cola Company Logo

• Linkstorm Logo

• CokeTag Facebook Application Page
• we8 Fan Page

• http://del.icio.us/coketags

About

About Coca-Cola
The Coca-Cola Company is the world’s largest beverage company, refreshing consumers with more than 450 sparkling and still brands. Along with Coca-Cola, recognized as the world’s most valuable brand, the Company’s portfolio includes 12 other billion-dollar brands, including Diet Coke, Fanta, Sprite, Coca-Cola Zero, vitaminwater, Powerade, Minute Maid and Georgia Coffee. Globally, we are the No. 1 provider of sparkling beverages, juices and juice drinks and ready-to-drink teas and coffees. Through the world’s largest beverage distribution system, consumers in more than 200 countries enjoy the Company’s beverages at a rate of 1.5 billion servings a day. With an enduring commitment to building sustainable communities, our Company is focused on initiatives that protect the environment, conserve resources and enhance the economic development of the communities where we operate. For more information about our Company, please visit our Web site at www.thecoca-colacompany.com.

About Linkstorm
Linkstorm is an advertising technology company that is pioneering a new approach to online marketing, e-commerce, publishing and social networking. The company’s unique ad enhancement technology significantly improves performance of all online advertising and improves user engagement by overlaying cascading menus onto any ad format and quickly connecting customers to the information they want. Clients include national and global advertisers, agencies and publishers such as Cisco, Microsoft, Wal-Mart, Chevrolet, HP, Ogilvy, MRM and Hachette Filipacchi. Linkstorm is headquartered in New York City and is funded by visionary investors such as Esther Dyson and Jim Rutt.  For more information, please visit www.linkstorms.com

Contact Info

Contact:	C.C. Chapman
Phone:	508-241-1062
Email:	cc@theadvanceguard.com
Website:	http://www.theadvanceguard.com

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