There are guided instructions on how to install OSX onto the current crop of netbooks. It breaks my heart because the PowerBook Duo line of notebooks actually defined the executive sub-notebook (they also defined the PDA/PIM with the Newton and dropped that ball, too), Why Apple must do a Netbook now:

My brother-in-law Ken IM’d me the other day with this message: “Did you see they’re loading OS X on Netbooks?” He sent me a link to a Gizmodo article that explained how to hack a Netbook into running Apple’s OS X. He also pointed me to a chart that BoingBoing put together showing how compatible various Netbooks are with OS X.

Obviously, none of this stuff is geared to the average consumer–and there are certainly some bugs to contend with–but with some tweaks, techies have gotten certain Netbooks to run OS X shockingly well. Perfect or not, those articles and some videos had my brother-in-law, who’s a total Applehead, champing at the bit to get his hands on an Apple Netbook. (Via CNet Reviews)

Well, the market decides (he writes on his XP-laden Lenovo S10 netbook, considering installing OSX just out of spite) and Apple’s slow to the punch.  Not just that, but Google is preparing to eat Apple’s lunch. And the MacBook Air is more form than function, an aesthetic useless peice of shit!

My CEO, Mark Harrison, downloaded and installed a new 3D virtual world called Twinity, based in Berlin, that will recreate the world’s coolest cities, starting with Berlin.  Mark loves Berlin more than anything, so he tried exploring his #1 home from his #2 home, Mauritius, and here is his story, as reported in an email to his Berlin posse, I think I committed suicide in Twinity:

Mark Harrison – Mauritius – 22 February 2008, 14:05 — After over a week of trying – endless module and update loading, and countless crashes -  I finally got logged into Twinity.com, a 3D virtual world, a la Second Life, but set in renderings of real cities.  The first of these Twinity cities is Berlin, my favorite city in the world, and my summertime home (and apparently the best-mapped city in the world, as well as the home to Twinity’s headquarters).

I was incarnated as a completely physically average white guy in his late 30′s – quite accurate in many respects except for the color and quantity of hair, and the hue of my eyes.  The statistically average white guy, even in Germany – counter to stereotypes – has brown hair and brown eyes.  Average Guy Mark was dropped into existence at Hackischer Markt, which is a good place to come into the world, since it is essentially the center of the universe, if your universe consists of only Berlin, you are a wired hipster type, and you are a provincial just arrived in this big, big city and instantly lose your bearings if you can’t see the TV tower on Alexanderplatz.

I decided to walk home – to my apartment in Moabit – and take the path along the Spree river that I take on almost a daily basis in my real-life Berlin when I am there.  I walked over to Monbijou park (eventually figuring out how to run by holding down the shift key, which reduced my impatience a bit), bouncing off a few trees, but successfully oozing straight through a pissoir.  I walked over to the railing at the edge of the river, looked around, then took one more step.  To my surprise, I found can walk through railings just as effectively as I can walk through pissoirs.

I fell a couple meters and found myself standing knee-deep in the Spree – not very realistic at that point in the Spree, considering that it’s a major shipping channel, but convenient for me as an avatar in the river.  I could still walk.

I walked along the river a bit, thinking I could perhaps just walk all the way home in the river, maybe climbing up one of the stone staircases I knew should be coming up along the way, if Twinity’s mapping of Berlin is indeed that comprehensive.  After a few steps I came to what I assume was the end of the universe… a wall of beige halfway through Monbijou Park, cutting across the river, and t-ing into the riverside wall of the Boda Museum.  The end-of-the-universe wall was insurmountable, as was the vertical, stone wall bank of the river.  I didn’t really want to spend the rest of my virtual life knee-deep in a fetid central European river, so I hit the “map” button, assuming that there could well be a way to fly, or teleport or something like in Second Life.

This hubris clearly angered the gods.  I guess I should have accepted my humaness and walked back up the river looking for a ladder or something rather than thinking I might game the laws of the universe and escape the limitations of my corporal form.  My world was wiped from existence with a cold Windows dialog box announcing that Twinity was no longer responding to anything I might ask it to do.  Then Vista went looking for Answers as to the Reason for this caprice of the gods, and unfortunately came back, giving me only more questions.  Quite realistic, that part of Twinity.

A restart of the program, and a surprisingly quick login process later (considering logging in took me a week of trying and failing, then a good 10 minutes when it finally worked today), I was again granted a view of my Twinity existence.

I think I am dead.

I have only a setting sun in a golden sky, adorned with a few evening clouds and the pregnant belly of a pale, twilight three-quarter moon.  I have a 360 degree view of my heavens, and when I spin on my axis – my only remaining mobility in my gentle, but solitary, god-forsaken purgatory – the clouds tremble as if in silent horror at the eternity of loneliness I have been damned to by my unforgivable, cardinal sin of suicide (is self-murder through clumsiness officially suicide?  Anyone know a theologian?) in the murky virtual waters of my beloved Berlin.

Life is so short.  So meaningless.  So incomprehensible.

Mark Harrison
Born: February 22nd, 2009 18:52 Berlin, Germany
Died: February 22nd, 2009 19:04 Berlin, Germany
“Well, there’s always LinkedIn.”

De Beers, has announced plans borrow $500 million from Anglo American Plc and other shareholders to bulwark itself against a falling gem market. The loan is a preventative measure in response to the fact that jewelry sales are plunging around the world. Diamond prices have already dropped, some say by as much as 50 percent and exports are down across the globe. De Beers has already cut the amount of rough stones it is offering to clients by half until April and has enacted production slowdowns at several of its mines. It is being predicted that diamond demand might not rise until the end of 2010 and even that may be optimistic.

The future of Social Network Services (SNS) can be discovered on High School and College campuses. I believe that topic-specific “vertical” SNS’s are very important, but I also think that the model needs to be University-like – a modularized SNS. There needs to be a campus “brand” (or University) within which the topic-specific “clubs,” “houses,” “fraternities,” “dorms,” and “interest groups” can interact – somewhere where crossovers, cross-fertilization, and aggregation are encouraged – no, needs – to happen. I hate SNS sites like boompa.com – a site devoted to your favorite cars – because I am not JUST a car guy.

I am a car guy for sure but I am also interested in rowing, in biking, in Thomas Pynchon, and in talk radio – Boompa might be successful in the short term, but in the long-term, the real power would come from creating a open, creative, resource-rich platform/campus/university/high school and maybe create a school of engineering, a liberal arts school, a law school, a dining hall, and so forth, but then allow the SNS to find itself.

To allow the SNS and its members to find their own voice, their own interests, and their own passions – which may well be very different from what is first assumed by the creator. Google gets this, though not yet within the construct of the SNS’s. What Google did do successfully was to buy USENET – the original newsgroups – and then build an superstructure on top of that – make it modern, sustainable, durable, and more readable.

Google returned USENET to relevance in a world that considered newsgroups and IRC to be dead or dying. Each and every one of communities on USENET is amazingly vertical, but they could all back up and back out to the larger USENET community – to the equivalent of the “welcome new students??? meetings and gatherings colleges offer to entering Freshmen.

Communities that are too vertical tend to shoe horn the “general topics??? conversations into hidden “off topic??? eddies. That is just the opposite of what should be done. The conversation should be general, cross-pollinating, and then move, after a conversation starts, into another room.

Start with an amazing platform, collect users, listen and watch them to see how they’re playing with the software application objects, widgets, and tools (are they playing with the toy or the box?), and then build for the users base, withholding judgment. Digg is a case study for this: start small, grow organically, and allow your members to find themselves.

The developers of Digg realized that after initial vertical growth based on the general members of Slashdot (techie, geeky, teens, boys), digg would suffer from the same sort of vulnerabilities that Slashdot suffered when Slashdot didn’t evolve and grow and broaden itself.

People love talking about Linux, but when happens when the Dow drops or the elections come? Where will the conversation happen? Where is the “kitchen??? at the party where every eventually goes to just talk about general interest stuff? Unless there are opportunities to express and share so-called “off-topic??? conversation right there, within the community in which members are already committed, with members to whom they’re already committed, then they are bound to go elsewhere.

Starting small and allowing the community to design itself is much different than starting big and losing one’s focus. Other mistakes happen when community builders make assumptions as to what participants, members, and lurkers want. Another mistake is putting a wall up around the community so that non-members cannot get a full feeling for the community from without.

The best SNS’s, virtual worlds, and online communities are honeypots. By honeypot, I am not suggesting, “a server that is configured to detect an intruder by mirroring a real production system. It appears as an ordinary server doing work, but all the data and transactions are phony. Located either in or outside the firewall, the honeypot is used to learn about an intruder’s techniques as well as determine vulnerabilities in the real system.” Although I am, sort of. The best SNS needs to be appealing, attractive, sweet, and compelling. Community-builders and SNS ASP developers need to be willing learn about member techniques, interests, processes, and needs, as well as determine “vulnerabilities” in the SNS platform that may repel, turn off, or limit the evolution and growth of the community.

To channel Chauncey Gardener for a second, one must do whatever one must to make sure that the earth in the garden is moist and well fed, one must seed well and completely, one must keep the garden in sun and water, one must encourage the garden to grow as it will for only in its growth will the garden be successful, and then, after rigorous growth, pruning and weeding must be done, only in order to allow the garden to be healthy, not to turn the garden into topiary. Okay, I am done.

Digg allows all of these things. Digg is perfectly useful and compelling even as an alien, but it is way more fun and interesting when you’re a citizen, that’s for sure. An SNS community needs to be as attractive as possible because exclusivity is no longer essential or even valuable. What is valuable is “useful,??? “interesting,??? and “authentic.??? They also have to have community buy-in and the best enjoy a certain fanatical devotion. Just like the best Universities and Colleges.

And Digg allowed its member to tell it when it was time to evolve past tech and geek news. Digg did not limit its scope or define itself too tightly with being “gear for geeks??? or “news for nerds.??? That would have ultimately been the death of Digg.

What the best Universities (such as Yale) understand is that it is not the student who is blessed and honored by being accepted by a top college (Yale College) but rather it is the college that should be blessed and honored (and should be grateful) that such a quality student is accepting its offers and actually attending – choosing – their particular school: Yale instead of Princeton, Brown, Harvard, Oxford, Cambridge, Dartmouth, Stanford, Columbia, Berkeley, etc…

Harvard, too, is aware that although in the short-term Harvard makes the Harvard Man, over the long term, it is Harvard Men who made Harvard and continue to make Harvard. “Who have you graduated recently???? Unless the quality and character of its students and alumni remain top-drawer, Harvard is not guaranteed its position as “top three??? in USA Today alongside Princeton and Yale. No matter how grand its endowment.

So, Harvard and Yale spoil their students rotten! My friends who attended Harvard or Yale college swoon over those 4 years like I swoon over my first love.

Likewise, SNS’s, virtual worlds, and virtual communities need to realize that at any one point, their brand is only as good as the collective that is manifest in the users, the members, the lurkers, the stewards, and the alumni of the property.

This isn’t only true in SNS’s. The same thing can be said of the most successful message boards and online communities. The most important distinction, I think, is that all of these “rooms” and all of these “clubs” and all of these spaces where (and are) defined and created by the communities themselves. Sui generis. And this sort of ownership – “for us by us,??? as the slogan goes over as Howard Rheingold’s Brainstorms community – should never be underestimated.

The Well has Howard Rheingold as a member and alumnus, for example, and the credibility of all that he has made and done; over time, more and more virtual communities, virtual worlds, and SNS will be known for their members as well: who studies, who studied, and who wants to join.

“What’s in it for me??? (WIIFM) and the concept of pride of ownership are important – essential – ingredients of a sustainable, deep, thriving, and healthy community. The success of MySpace and of Facebook is that the verticals are not (were not) defined for them by their grand architects – they are self-creating, self-forming, and also self-destructing. They form, reform, mutate and disperse after they hit a limit of general conversation and then either break off and reform into an “interest group” or “club” or they self-check and work to “get back on topic.”

SNS’s and communities in general tend to be formed in one of two ways: like Paris or like London. Intelligence Design (architecture) or Emergent Design. The later never looks very beautiful or the way people – or the creators, investors, and architects – expect (or want) it to look, because investors and designers tend to not be able to control it – and when they do try to impost order, often in a heavy-handed way, they also tend to scare off all of their members, too.

This organic revolution has proven its success online time and time again. The Internet does not respond (well or at all) to command and control. The smartest Web 2.0 platforms allow the “masses of asses” (yes, the customer; yes, us) to define the platform and the experience – their own and collective environment and experience.

MySpace does this amazingly well and so does Facebook. Until recently, Friendster suffered from a vision and used command and control tactics to try to coerce its users that “it didn’t really want to do things that way??? and Friendster members abandoned in droves to platforms and experiences not so monitored by “mom and dad.???

A command and control grand vision doesn’t work when you develop an environment that needs to be truly both attractive and compelling much more than it needs to be informational or instructional. An SNS needs to be attractive, diversional, compelling, amusing, and entertaining – never limiting.

My analogy of college and high school never mentioned classrooms or classes for training or learning. People do enough of that at school and at work. An SNS needs to give its users a university campus without any expectations or concepts of dropping out, getting judged, doing homework, or being held accountable for anything.

A good SNS should be all late-night wine-influenced discussions of Descartes and Plato and the summer afternoons on the quad and the time playing Xbox with your roommates.

When I go onto my long-term online communities, the Well, The Meta Network, USENET, and Brainstorms, there are many very deep and very vertical communities, discussing things as frivolous as fashion and video games and as deep as how to survive cancer, how to get a post doc grant, and very deep discussions on “spirit,” “chaos theory,” and “world politics.”

What makes this amazing and sustainable is that there are an infinite number of ways to get along, to move into a space of intense conversation, and then to pull back into common areas, just to see who’s around. In a university setting, this could be the dining hall, the quad, the commons, etc. These spaces are very important.

If you think about all of this in terms of evolution, then we can think about the way things evolve in the most perverse ways when isolated from others of its kinds. So, if there are impervious walls – gaps or voids, mountains or ridges – between these vertical markets, SNS’s, and communities, then there may be an initial success, but there can also be a terrible volatility. One plague or drought can decimate a population completely.

Having a commons allows members and visitors to have a place to meet new people, have new experiences, and learn of new clubs, new opportunities, and new places – inbreeding versus crossbreeding. Ultimately, a diversity of visitors helps build a more resilient, invested, and self-identifing community. They will become “students for life??? at best and proud alums at worst. They will carry the brand awareness, even if their lives become too busy to participate any more.

They will become life long brand ambassadors for your community. Proud alumni.

And, in terms of “viral marketing,” it is also important when it comes to a member of an SNS “inviting his friends” – not all of my friends have the same vertical interests that I do… They could have very different interests – but as I explore the “commons” of an SNS, I can note that there are things happening online that “friend x” and “friend y” would love, and that would be my incentive to invite them on board.

Boompa? I am the only person I know in my entire community – that is not true, my buddy has an Audi S4 – who is into cars. My buddy is an Audi driver and I am a BMW driver. Does that mean we’re both drivers? Does that mean we love cars or our particular car? Do we cross over on performance sedans? On German cars? On luxury cars?

You have to offer the tools to allow the market to choose for itself, otherwise, you might never find out that the SNS needs all three, or none at all.

A “Modularized SNS” should be neutral like a university (unlike MySpace, which is pretty pre-defined as to what the demographic is), and there are lots of “vertical niche SNS’s” (e.g. car enthusiasts, gourmet cooking, travel, Rolex fans, Republican politicos, etc.) That way, everyone can form a SNS experience that actually fits them by modularly assembling the groups of people who have similar interests, (not just friends-in-common!)

I am in Washington, DC, for the inauguration, but aside from the excitement of seeing all of my global friends as they converge on DC for the inauguration, I am not participating to any great extent.  Why?  There are two reasons . . .

First, I have attended inaugurations, inaugural parades, and inauguration balls for the last 20-years, starting with the election of George H. W. Bush, Bush senior, into the White House all the way through to the second inauguration of George W. Bush back in 2005, which was held on a very cold January 20th, if I remember correctly. While I had my plans set for Berlin, I didn’t have my plans set up in Washington, so I am just going to enjoy the pleasures on the fringe.

Second, while I am blissed out that Senator Barack Obama will be inaugurated as the 44th president of the United States, I am allergic to two-million historical well-wishers crowding the National Mall.

I have to be honest, I am still dazzled that the United States elected an African American from Hawaii by the name of Barack Hussein Obama, especially in such jingoistic times. And I am proud and impressed and looking forward to not just the first one-hundred days but also to the second term.

The Obama White House really needs to be an eight-year presidency — two terms — because there is a lot of work to both do and undo.

What I do plan to do, however, is open up Naval Lodge 4 on Capitol Hill at 8 AM. I will be serving hot coffee and donuts from the 4th floor of 330 Pennsylvania Avenue, SE. So, if you’re in the neighborhood and want some warm coffee, some company, and maybe a donut or two, please drop by for a cuppa.

Image via CrunchBase

John Brownlee of Boing Boing Gadgets cracks me up. He is one the reasons why have so much fun in Berlin. I just got off the phone with him and he dropped that he blogged about my business partner, Mark Harrison.

A private moment with Steve Jobs by John Brownlee

My friend Mark Harrison is an intriguing sort: a globe-trotting alpha male who spends winters rubbing elbows with bikini models down in Mauretius and summers either indulging in sport in Berlin or piloting yachts around Cape Horn. He’s also got some fantastic stories about his run-ins with various eccentric business tycoons. One of those tycoons is Steve Jobs.

According to Mark, the year was 2000, and the company he worked for had set up a meeting with Jobs. Their pitch was simple: while Apple at that time owned the educational market up until the end of grade school, they completely lost all of their users by the time high school started, where computer labs became dominated by PCs. Their proposition was simple: team up with Apple and leverage their presence in thousands of schools to expand Apple’s educational market share.

From the very second he sat down with them, Jobs seemed agitated. The second his ass hit the chair, Jobs began rocking back and forth autistically. But as Mark’s colleagues made blunt and undeniable appraisals of Apple’s presence in high school computer labs, the rocking dramatically increased, then exploded… along with Jobs.

A purpling shade of apoplectic, Jobs launched to his feet, flecking the table with spittle. “You’re shit! Your company’s shit! It’s nothing compared to mine!” he screamed, an outstretched finger jutting accusingly up and down. Eventually, his fury was spent, and the situation was defused by some politically expedient cooing noises.

Still, it’s all just so Jobs, isn’t it? Ever since I heard the anecdote, I can’t help but think of Jobs that way. Turgid with rage and quivering in front of a PC or DAP or mobile phone, spraying its display with spittle: “You’re shit! SHIT! DO YOU HEAR ME? Your operating system’s nothing compared to mine.”

Mark used to be a big cheese for Primedia in New York at the turn of the century but I had never heard this story. Please read and laugh. The funny thing is that back in the day, Mark and I were big proponents of Apple and their Apple for the Teacher and Apple for the School program. We were inspired by the Apple Evangelist, Guy Kawasaki, and both wondered why Apple kept on dropping the ball and ceeding market share to Microsoft. Well, after reading this post you will see that is was probably hubris.

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My friend wrote the following email to me. I asked her if I might be able to post it and she said yes, as long as I make it anonymous:

So maybe you’ll understand my irritation. Yesterday I found myself defending feminism to a couple of otherwise fairly liberal women. I’m not yet able to articulate precisely what about this conversation I found most disturbing. I’ll spare you the details, but one of them was arguing that feminism didn’t accomplish anything because women have always been able to do whatever they wanted to. To me, this just displays astounding ignorance (and how do you counter that, really?). Both of them, however, were arguing, essentially, that a woman’s primary purpose is to have and raise children. Really? And they weren’t so subtle in what they thought of me by way of implication. (It’s very possible I was reading more into this than I should have.)Now there are certain circles where I expect this sort of bullshit (and this is by no means a slight on women who choose to have/raise kids). And I’ve been distancing myself from those circles as much as I can. But it doesn’t look like I cant dodge this issue much longer, seeing as it appears unavoidable even amongst purported liberals. I’m hoping that with these women at least–I probably won’t see them again until after the new year–the issue is dropped, particularly because I don’t really feel that, in a professional setting anyway, I can really say what I think, in the way I really WANT to say it.Why, why, why in this day and age are women still most valued–even among other women–not for their brains, their wits, their gifts, their abilities, their accomplishments, but for their uterus? I had no idea this line of thinking, is this country anyway, went beyond the usual suspects. I thought that being valued for who one is, man or woman, should be a given. Or am I just pissed as an inherently flawed person because I’m not a nurturer? And what should I say/do the next time I run into this sort of thing?

Firstly, I am honored that I was included in the email — I am the only boy — with the subject line, “You’re enlightened people.”Secondly, I studied feminist theory in college and have always been a proponent of equal rights for women as they choose to define it.Thirdly, I would really love to get a discussion going about this issue because it means a lot to me, to my friend, and to loads and loads of women who value themselves for “their brains, their wits, their gifts, their abilities, their accomplishments” and not just for their uteri.

• “Democratic institutions form a system of quarantine for tyrannical desires.” Friedrich Nietzsche #
• “Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule – and both commonl … #
• “Only the educated are free.” Epictetus #
• “When great changes occur in history, when great principles are involved, as a rule the majority are wrong. The minority are right.” Eug … #
• “The best weapon of a dictatorship is secrecy; the best weapon of a democracy is openness.” Edvard Teller #
• “A man will fight harder for his interests than for his rights.” Napoleon Bonaparte #
• “Men are more easily governed through their vices than through their virtues.” Napoleon Bonaparte #
• “Free speech is not to be regulated like diseased cattle and impure butter. The audience that hissed yesterday may applaud today, even f … #
• “Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty.” Thomas Jefferson #
• ”You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.” James Thurber #
• “Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms [of government] those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, … #
• “If pigs could vote, the man with the slop bucket would be elected swineherd every time, no matter how much slaughtering he did on the s … #
• ”Liberty is to the collective body what health is to every individual body. Without health, no pleasure can be tasted by man; without l … #
• “History teaches that grave threats to liberty often come in times of urgency, when constitutional rights seem too extravagant to endure … #
• “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” Mar … #
• “Democracy encourages the majority to decide things about which the majority is ignorant.” John Simon #
• “Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.” Sen … #
• “Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.” George Bernard … #
• “In democracy everyone has the right to be represented, even the jerks.” Chris Patten #
• “When the government fears the people, that is LIBERTY. When people fear the government, that is TYRANNY.” Author Unknown #
• “It is as hard for the good to suspect evil, as it is for the bad to suspect good.” Marcus Tullius Cicero #
• “Men will wrangle for religion, write for it, fight for it, die for it, anything but live for it.” Charles Caleb Cotton #
• “Until lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.” African proverb #
• “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” Ma … #
• “Every great movement must experience three stages: ridicule, discussion, adoption.” John Stuart Mill #
• “Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right.” Laurens van der Post #
• “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” Alice Walker #
• “A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.” Saul Bellow #
• “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” Aristotle #
• “Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress.” Thomas A. Edison #
• “Every civilizing step in history has been ridiculed as ‘sentimental’, ‘impractical’, or ‘womanish’, etc., by those whose fun, profit or … #
• “To feed men and not to love them is to treat them as if they were barnyard cattle. To love them and not respect them is to treat them a … #
• “Democracies don’t prepare well for things that have never happened before.” Richard A. Clarke, former White House counter- terrorism chief. #
• “Our contest is not only whether we ourselves shall be free, but whether there shall be left to mankind an asylum on earth for civil and … #
• “Good government could never be a substitute for government by the people themselves.” Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman, British Prime Minister #
• “A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.” Bill Vaughan #
• “Only the educated are free.” Epictetus #
• “I have no respect for the passion for equality, which seems to me merely idealizing envy.” Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. #
• “It is better that a man should tyrannize over his bank balance than over his fellow-citizens.” John Mayard Keynes #
• “Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.” Clement Atlee #

On behalf of the International Medical Corps and Abraham Harrison, thank you so much for all of your support over the last four weeks to get the vote out to help get the International Medical Corps into the top-five of the Members Project and then for securing the $100,000 from American Express, to be used to feed hungry children worldwide. Here’s a thank you video blog entry from Paige Strackman, who was the PaigeS who submitted IMC in the first place under the title, Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children.

Here’s the official, final, press release you can read, directly from International Medical Corps:

International Medical Corps Wins $100,000 Grant from American Express to Save Malnourished Children

October 14, 2008, Los Angeles, Calif. –International Medical Corps (IMC) has been awarded $100,000 through the American Express Members Project. The grant will be used to treat malnourished children worldwide. IMC is one of five organizations to receive funding in the nationwide campaign where American Express Card members submit and vote for projects that are meant to bring people and organizations together for positive change.

The funding will be used to implement the project, ‘Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children.’ Submitted by American Express cardmember Paige Strackman, the project focuses on treating malnutrition through nutrient-rich, ready-to-eat food, which International Medical Corps provides to more than 35,000 children every month through a network of 215 supplementary and therapeutic feeding sites in some of the world’s most food-insecure environments, including Afghanistan, Ethiopia, Sudan, and Somalia. The project was selected by an elite panel out of 1,190 others and received more than 14,000 votes in the final round of competition.

“I submitted this project because, as a mother, I cannot ignore that five million children under five die every year due to malnutrition,” says Paige. “This funding will save thousands of malnourished children around the world who otherwise may not have been reached. I am so grateful to everyone who supported this project and helped make it a reality.”

While the project was submitted by one individual hoping to make a difference, it gathered public momentum. The project’s message was shared in the media from Los Angeles to New York, on nearly 200 blogs across the Internet, through thousands of emails and on social networking sites, including Facebook, My Space and Twitter.

The grant from American Express comes at an opportune time when rising food costs are driving millions deeper into poverty everyday while trying to afford basic staples. As a result, hunger and malnutrition kill more people each year than HIV, tuberculosis, and malaria combined.

“We are incredibly grateful to Paige for not only submitting the project, but also for fueling it with the passion to make it so successful,” says Rebecca Milner, Vice President of Institutional Advancement. “There are approximately 178 million children around the world who are malnourished and only 3 percent get treatment. This funding makes it possible for International Medical Corps to reach more of those children who desperately need our help.”

In Democratic Republic of Congo alone, International Medical Corps’ supplementary feeding centers admitted 3,500 new children in the past two months. At one center for severely malnourished children, IMC has a 35-bed capacity, but is accommodating 82. Another 30 children await treatment. This trend is symptomatic of the food insecurity affecting East Africa and much of the developing world. The World Food Program estimates that 15.7 million of those in need are in East Africa, and another 8.6 million are in Afghanistan.

With a mission that focuses on training, International Medical Corps works to empower individuals and communities, providing education on how to treat malnutrition, identify warnings signs, and intervene before malnutrition worsens. Health care workers and parents are educated on proper diet and hygiene, and communities are equipped to grow their own food and reduce their vulnerability to rising prices.

*The ‘Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children’ project can be viewed here: http://www.membersproject.com/project/view/OZH1P1
**Videos of children’s dramatic recoveries from malnutrition can be seen on International Medical Corps’ YouTube Channel: http://ca.youtube.com/user/IMCMembersProject

For more information visit our website at www.imcworldwide.org.

Also, thank you to every single blogger and social media maven who was so generous as to help us spread the word out and get as much attention as possible for both the Members Project as well as for International Medical Corps as well. You were all more than generous and all of us at IMC and AHLLC would love to thank you for being so generous and selfless.

• Help Feed Hungry Children via Danny Fisher.
• Help Save Kids via Three Sons and a Princess.
• Seeking $1.5 million to feed malnourished children via http://www.cabraham.com/node/693.
• International Medical Corps Matched With Top 25 American Express Members Project, via The Colombo Times News Blog.
• Altruism – For Whose Sake? via Jakartass.
• Cast a Vote, Help Save a Child via The Blog That Ate Manhattan Goes to Italy .
• Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Here There and Everywhere.
• International Medical Corps Matched With Top 25 American Express Members Project Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Samotalis.
• International Medical Corps responds to the food crisis with emergency nutrition programs, food relief aid, agricultural assistance, and training via Holly’s Fight to Stop Violence.
• Calling All American Express Card Members via All 4 My Gals.
• Russia using cluster bombs and humanitarian efforts for children… via Glass City Jungle.
• I’ve got this via E-Mail To Publish on this site, For the sake of children via The Triple Gem!.
• In This Election, The Winners are the Children via The Blog That Ate Manhattan.
• International Medical Corps via Christefideles.
• saving malnourished children via Lotusinthemud.
• Help Save the Lives of Malnourished Children With International Medical Corps via Myrtus.
• Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Ontario.
• International Medical Corps via Sakshum…cultivating dreams.
• International Medical Corps Matched with Top-25 via Jumping Monkeys.
• Banner on Site via Nerds Eye View.
• Fabulicious Friday #26 via cookienotes.
• Sharing Saturday – AmEx and Int’l Medical Corps via My Life as a Hot Professional.
• Cause Everyone Needs to Eat via Grassroots Activism.
• International Medical Corps via Yoga and Judaism Center.
• Radyo Inteligentaindigena-09-20-2008 via Inteligentaindigena Novajoservo.
• Help IMC save the lives of malnourished children in Africa! via A Romanian in Africa.
• Fighting Deadly Malnutrition: This Time, A Morally Imperative Rescue via The Cogitamus Blog.
• Fighting Deadly Malnutrition: This Time, A Morally Imperative Rescue via litbrit .
• Do the right thing via Bloody Brilliant.
• Let None Go Hungry via Pipecleaner Dreams.
• Click to Help Malnourished Children! via A Red Thread Connection.
• Tweet via Bloggapalooza.
• Here’s Something Cool via Cool Mom Picks.
• A Different Vote: Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Sexy Spanish Club in Buenos Aires.
• Saving Lives for Malnourished Children via Connorcolesmom.
• This won’t take a minute. via Miss Cellania.
• People Watching in Lipscani via Writers Bloc.
• A Good Deed via My Boyfriend is a twat.
• Corporate do-gooding: Vote for the best ideas that American Express is sifting through via Religion Blog: Dallas News.
• Please consider voting via Living in shkoder Albania.
• Banner via Andres V.
• Help Save the Lives of Malnourished Children via Progressive U.org.
• International Medical Corp via Jaden’s Journal.
• We Get Stuff via Winds of Change.
• International Medical Corps, Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Art of the Possible Online.
• Banner via Postcards From Across the Pond.
• Another AmEx Submission… via Fat Doctor.
• Up to 5 million children a year die of malnutrition – with one mouse click, you can help via Shakesville.
• Help International Medical Corp Save Starving Child With Just One Click via William K. Wolfrum.
• International Medical Corps Needs Your Vote via The Rotten Word.
• Give ‘em a vote via Army of Mom.
• Int’l Child Relief NGO Needs Our Votes…1.5Million At Stake via The Democratic Daily.
• Members Project by AmEx is amazing. Vote to send their money to help children here. via Craphammer.
• Reaching Out in the Love of Christ via The Day of the Lord.
• Do you Hear the Cry? via Christs Redeeming Passion.
• Compassion that makes a Difference. via Passion that Redeems.
• The Greatest Gift is Love via About the Father’s Business.
• Making a Difference via Redeemed by the Passion of Christ.
• Be a Light that Makes a Difference via Life in Christ.
• Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via What’s a Delmer Look Like.
• banner via The Legless Blog.
• Contribution to a Noble Cause via Aa..Ha [Thinking Inside The Blog!].
• Help International Medical Corps Earn $1.5M via Turning Left.
• Help International Medical Corps Earn $1.5M via eNews Park Forest.
• They Need Your Vote … via Freaked Out Fathers.
• posted widget via Albtranslator.
• Please check this out via Braveheart Does the Maghreb.
• Saving the lives of malnourished children via Tongue and Cheek.
• American Express’ Members Project International Medical Corps via Sugar and Spice.
• International Medical Corps Matched With Top 25 American Express Members Project Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Budget Nomad – US Ex – Pat on the Move.
• Vote for International MedicalCorps to Help Children in Need. via humorgrafe .
• Voting for International Medical Corps via Tall Skinny Kiwi.
• Revealing myself as a LOTR nerd via Journey Mama.
• Thank You for Blogging About International Medical Corps! via Chris Abraham Because the Medium is the Message.
• Dora, the sheep droppings explorer via The French Mountain Dweller.
• Int’l NGO Needs Our Help To Win $1.5 M For Starving Children via Daily Kos.
• Thank You Bloggers for Blogging about International Medical Corps via Memes.org.
• Thank You International Medical Corps Bloggers via Abraham Harrison.
• “Vote for International Medical Corps to Help Children in Need” via Ben Heine.
• Feeding Hungry Children via Kuru Lounge.
• Your click could mean $1.5 million for malnourished children around the world via Pirate Pappa.
• One Click to Save Lives via So a Blonde Walks Into a Review.
• Members Projects via OBVI.
• With One Click You Can Save Thousands Of Malnourished Children via Blogher.
• Help International Medical Corps Feed Hungry Children via Chrisfernando.net.
• Thursday, September 25, 2008 via Island In the Pacific.
• Your click could mean $1.5 million for malnourished children around the world. via Fresh Motivation.
• Click for $1.5 million – A win-win-win situation via Stet.
• Vote to make a difference via Onlinefundraisingblog.
• Something About Saving Lives? via NDAGHA.
• Click to Donate via More Than An Army Wife.
• Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via The Existential Lip.
• International Medical Corps via Backyard Missionary.
• International Medical Corps Matched with Top 25 American Express Members Project, ‘Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children’ via Bio-Medicine.
• Time is Running Out!!! via Pre School Mama.
• “The International Medical Corps: Please Consider This Good Cause” via Working With Word.
• Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via javajive.
• Things I should have avoided whilst pregnant via Whitterer on Autism.
• American Express Members Project: Join me in voting for the project, “Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children.” via Make College Pay Off.
• Interested in Saving a Child From Malnutrition? via Reservoir.
• Go Vote for the International Medical Corps via Christian Spirituality w/ Edges.
• Vote for the International Medical Corps! via Understanding The Psychology and Effects of Abandonment Issues.
• International Medical Corps via Stories on Malawi.
• The Least of These via Paravanes: Christian Meditations .
• Vote to help feed hungry kids! via Happy at HFC.
• Please support International Medical Corps and help feed hungry children via The Sreisaat Adventures in cambodia.
• Tela’s Finds via Working Moms Against Guilt.
• Save Lives with Your Vote via Servant of Chaos.
• FYI via Left of Centre.
• International Medical Corp via Desert Phoenix.
• sidebar via Pardon Me For Asking.
• One Day Left – the AMEX Members Project via A Mom a Blog and the Life In-Between.
• widget via Psychiatryforpublic.
• sidebar via Tamil Newsfeed.
• Help Save the Lives of Malnourished Children via Progressiveu.
• A Little Charity Is All It Takes. via Anchor Rising.
• When Snark Just Isn’t Enough via World-O-Crap.
• International Medical Corps via Portrait of a Writer.
• The Members Project via Earnest Parenting.
• Vote to Feed Hungry Children via Looney Bin 4 Sure.
• American Express Members Project via Big Blueberry Eyes.
• Vote Now!! Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Lost Girl’s World.
• International Medical Corp Matched… via Chris Zenzine.
• We get letters via Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.
• Just a Note via Code Yellow Mom.
• International Medical Corps – Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Awakening To Enlightenment.
• Save the Lives of Malnourished Children via Contented Woman.
• Beyond THE FUTURE: International Medical Corps via Beyond Understanding .
• Beyond THE FUTURE: International Medical Corps via Publishers Marketplace.
• Banner via Arwin Soelaksono .
• Vote to Help Feed a Hungry Child! via Three P’s in a Pod.
• I get mail — worthy causes via The Reaction.
• I get mail — worthy causes via Newshoggers.
• I get mail — worthy causes via The Impolitic .
• Vote to Help Hungry Children via Dad Talk.
• Social Media News Release via Nandigram United.
• IMC project: Saving the lives of malnourished children via Motherscribe.
• Nobody likes to go hungry – especially kiddos. via Jelly Mom.
• HELP FEED CHILDREN via Smart Christian.
• International Medical Corps via Mama Speaks.
• International Medical Corps–Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via This Mom.
• I don’t usually do this, but… via Non-Essential Equipment.
• Before I Forget (Again) via Drye Portents.
• Haiti Update via Gonna Make a Change.
• Vote to save hungry children! via Make it Happen.
• Please vote via All 4 My Gals.
• Att: American Express Card holders via Writers Bloc.
• Hey..Vote Again via ZenZine.
• Vote For These Guys and Save Some Children via Intuittech.
• Widget via The Disenchanted Forest.
• Vote for the International Medical Corps! via understanding the effects of unresolved abandonment issues.
• Help the International Medical Corps Feed Hungry Children via Danny Fisher.
• Help Save the Lives of Malnourished Children via Progressiveu.
• Saving the Lives of malnourished children via The French Mountain Dweller.
• Last chance to Save The Lives of Malnourished Children via Simple Green World.
• International Medical Corps’s Good Deeds Triumph!! via Three P’s in a Pod.
• Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children – NEWS FACTS via Ontario.
• $1.5 Million For Malnourished Children Around The World Possible – Your Vote In The American Express Members Project Could Help This Happen via Medical News Today.
• International Medical Corp Vote Now! via Holly’s Fight for Justice.
• International Medical Corp Vote Now! via Holly’s Fight to Stop Violence.
• International Medical Corp via Jakartass.
• widget via Andres V.
• widget via Que es El Testamento Del Paisa?.
• Part II Vote to Help Hungry Children via Dad Talk.
• Continue Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via What’s Delmer Look Like?.
• Sharing Saturday – Bloggers Rule! via My Life as a Hot Professional.
• Banner via Earnest Parenting.
• International Medical Corps needs your help via Sociolingo’s Africa.
• Food Charities via Grasshopper New Media Presents….
• That good deed that some of you did …. via My Boyfriend is a twat.
• Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Paravanes: Christian Meditations .
• Giving back to Africa via Africa Safari Blog.
• Can Social Media Make the World A Better Place? via Digital Podcast.
• Vote to Feed Hungry Children via South Africa.
• Members Project Submissions Due 8/19 via The Drew Blog.
• Help International Medical Corps Save the Lives of Malnourished Children via International Medical Corps.
• Help International Medical Corps Save the Lives of Malnourished Children via Chris Abraham.
• Help International Medical Corps Save the Lives of Malnourished Children via Marketing Conversation.
• Help International Medical Corps Save the Lives of Malnourished Children via Chris Abraham: Because the Medium is the Message.
• Help International Medical Corps Save the Lives of Malnourished Children via Chris Abraham: Internet Analyst and Web Strategist.
• Vote AGAIN!!! for “Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children” via finding joy in Liberia .
• International Medical Corps needs your vote ! 4 days left “ via Ben Heine.
• International Medical Corps via Worldfoodvision.com.
• Calling All American Express Cardholders via Everything Finance.
• American Express Members Projects 08 via Ground.
• Its Easy to Make a Difference via Baer This In Mind.
• Hello guys! via Halo Scan.
• Help Feed Hungry Children! via Friends of the World Food Organization.
• International Medical Corps now in American Express Members Project Top 5, Vote Today via Yubanet.
• American Express Members Project Contest: Support the International Medical Corps via The Human Trafficking Project.

First off, if you haven’t voted yet, please vote. Secondly, as recently as Wednesday, September 24th, 2008, I posted a thank you for blogging about International Medical Corps as a thank you for all of the bloggers who were so generous as to blog about the current voting contest going on — 73 earned media posts — called the Members Project. International Medical Corps is being represented by the Member Project called Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children. Well, three days later, we have been lavished with another 30 earned media mentions, listed below:

• Thank You for Blogging About International Medical Corps! via Chris Abraham Because the Medium is the Message.
• Dora the sheep droppings explorer via The French Mountain Dweller.
• Int’l NGO Needs Our Help To Win $1.5 M For Starving Children via Daily Kos.
• Thank You Bloggers for Blogging about International Medical Corps via Memes.org.
• Thank You International Medical Corps Bloggers via Abraham Harrison.
• Vote for the International Medical Corps! via Ben Heine.
• Feeding Hungry Children via Kuru Lounge.
• Your click could mean $1.5 million for malnourished children around the world via Pirate Pappa.
• One Click to Save Lives via So a Blonde Walks Into a Review.
• Members Projects via OBVI.
• With One Click You Can Save Thousands Of Malnourished Children via Blogher.
• Help International Medical Corps Feed Hungry Children via Chrisfernando.net.
• Thursday September 25 2008 via Island In the Pacific.
• Your click could mean $1.5 million for malnourished children around the world. via Fresh Motivation.
• Click for $1.5 million – A win-win-win situation via Stet.
• Vote to make a difference via Onlinefundraisingblog.
• Something About Saving Lives? via NDAGHA.
• Click to Donate via More Than An Army Wife.
• Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via The Existential Lip.
• International Medical Corps via Backyard Missionary.
• International Medical Corps Matched with Top 25 American Express Members Project, ‘Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children’ via Bio-Medicine.
• Time is Running Out!!! via Pre School Mama.
• The International Medical Corps Please Consider This Good Cause via Working With Word.
• Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via javajive.
• Things I should have avoided whilst pregnant via Whitterer on Autism.
• American Express Members Project: Join me in voting for the project Saving the Lives of Malnourished Children via Make College Pay Off.
• Interested in Saving a Child From Malnutrition? via Reservoir.
• Go Vote for the International Medical Corps via Christian Spirituality w/ Edges.
• Vote for the International Medical Corps! via Understanding The Psychology and Effects of Abandonment Issues.

Anyway, bloggers and everyone else who has supported, thank you very much from both the IMC and AHLLC!

If you want more information, please check out the informational page we made for the project — the SMNR — and you can learn a lot more and see all the various and sundry assets the organization has provided for this noble campaign.

Finally, please let me know if I missed your post in the Chris Abraham comment area — and if you want to post about the contest and the issue, please feel free and pop the URL into the Chris Abraham comment section and I will add you and thanks in advance!

I would have never guessed that Camille Paglia would be in awe of Sara Palin or perceive her as follows, “Conservative though she may be, I felt that Palin represented an explosion of a brand new style of muscular American feminism. At her startling debut on that day, she was combining male and female qualities in ways that I have never seen before. And she was somehow able to seem simultaneously reassuringly traditional and gung-ho futurist. In terms of redefining the persona for female authority and leadership, Palin has made the biggest step forward in feminism since Madonna channeled the dominatrix persona of high-glam Marlene Dietrich and rammed pro-sex, pro-beauty feminism down the throats of the prissy, victim-mongering, philistine feminist establishment.” Whoa. (Via Salon.com)

Fresh blood for the vampire

Rip tide! Is the Obama campaign shooting out to sea like a paper boat?

It’s heavy weather for Obama fans, as momentum has suddenly shifted to John McCain — that hoary, barnacle-encrusted tub that many Democrats like me had thought was full of holes and swirling to its doom in the inky depths of Republican incoherence and fratricide. Gee whilikers, the McCain vampire just won’t die! Hit him with a hammer, and he explodes like a jellyfish into a hundred hungry pieces.

Oh, the sadomasochistic tedium of McCain’s imprisonment in Hanoi being told over and over and over again at the Republican convention. Do McCain’s credentials for the White House really consist only of that horrific ordeal? Americans owe every heroic, wounded veteran an incalculable debt of gratitude, but how do McCain’s sufferings in a tiny, squalid cell 40 years ago logically translate into presidential aptitude in the 21st century? Cast him a statue or slap his name on a ship, and let’s turn the damned page.We need a new generation of leadership with fresh ideas and an expansive, cosmopolitan vision — which is why I support Barack Obama and have contributed to his campaign. My baby-boom generation — typified by the narcissistic Clintons — peaked in the 1960s and is seriously past it. But McCain, born before Pearl Harbor, is even older than we are! Why would anyone believe that he holds the key to the future? And why would anyone swallow that preening passel of high-flown rhetoric about “country above all” coming from a seething, short-fused character whose rampant egotism, zigzagging principles, and currying of the gullible press were the distinguishing marks of his senatorial career?

Having said that, I must admit that McCain is currently eating Obama’s lunch. McCain’s weirdly disconnected persona (beady glowers flashing to frozen grins and back again) has started to look more testosterone-rich than Obama’s easy, lanky, reflective candor. What in the world possessed the Obama campaign to let their guy wander like a dazed lamb into a snake pit of religious inquisition like Rick Warren’s public forum last month at his Saddleback Church in California? That shambles of a performance — where a surprisingly unprepared Obama met the inevitable question about abortion with shockingly curt glibness — began his alarming slide.

As I said in my last column, I have become increasingly uneasy about Obama’s efforts to sound folksy and approachable by reflexively using inner-city African-American tones and locutions, which as a native of Hawaii he acquired relatively late in his development and which are painfully wrong for the target audience of rural working-class whites that he has been trying to reach. Obama on the road and even in major interviews has been droppin’ his g’s like there’s no tomorrow. It’s analogous to the way stodgy, portly Al Gore (evidently misadvised by the women in his family and their feminist pals) tried to zap himself up on the campaign trail into the happening buff dude that he was not. Both Gore and Obama would have been better advised to pursue a calm, steady, authoritative persona. Forget the jokes — be boring! That, alas, is what reads as masculine in the U.S.

The over-the-top publicity stunt of a mega-stadium for Obama’s acceptance speech at the Democratic convention two weeks ago was a huge risk that worried me sick — there were too many things that could go wrong, from bad weather to crowd control to technical glitches on the overblown set. But everything went swimmingly. Obama delivered the speech nearly flawlessly — though I was shocked and disappointed by how little there was about foreign policy, a major area where wavering voters have grave doubts about him. Nevertheless, it was an extraordinary event with an overlong but strangely contemplative and spiritually uplifting finale. The music, amid the needlessly extravagant fireworks, morphed into “Star Wars” — a New Age hymn to cosmic reconciliation and peace.

After that extravaganza, marking the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s epochal civil rights speech on the Washington Mall, I felt calmly confident that the Obama campaign was going to roll like a gorgeous juggernaut right over the puny, fossilized McCain. The next morning, it was as if the election were already over. No need to fret about American politics anymore this year. I had already turned with relief to other matters.

Pow! Wham! The Republicans unleashed a doozy — one of the most stunning surprises that I have ever witnessed in my adult life. By lunchtime, Obama’s triumph of the night before had been wiped right off the national radar screen. In a bold move I would never have thought him capable of, McCain introduced Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska as his pick for vice president. I had heard vaguely about Palin but had never heard her speak. I nearly fell out of my chair. It was like watching a boxing match or a quarter of hard-hitting football — or one of the great light-saber duels in “Star Wars.” (Here are the two Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn, going at it with Darth Maul in “The Phantom Menace.”) This woman turned out to be a tough, scrappy fighter with a mischievous sense of humor.

Conservative though she may be, I felt that Palin represented an explosion of a brand new style of muscular American feminism. At her startling debut on that day, she was combining male and female qualities in ways that I have never seen before. And she was somehow able to seem simultaneously reassuringly traditional and gung-ho futurist. In terms of redefining the persona for female authority and leadership, Palin has made the biggest step forward in feminism since Madonna channeled the dominatrix persona of high-glam Marlene Dietrich and rammed pro-sex, pro-beauty feminism down the throats of the prissy, victim-mongering, philistine feminist establishment.

In the U.S., the ultimate glass ceiling has been fiendishly complicated for women by the unique peculiarity that our president must also serve as commander in chief of the armed forces. Women have risen to the top in other countries by securing the leadership of their parties and then being routinely promoted to prime minister when that party won at the polls. But a woman candidate for president of the U.S. must show a potential capacity for military affairs and decision-making. Our president also symbolically represents the entire history of the nation — a half-mystical role often filled elsewhere by a revered if politically powerless monarch.

As a dissident feminist, I have been arguing since my arrival on the scene nearly 20 years ago that young American women aspiring to political power should be studying military history rather than taking women’s studies courses, with their rote agenda of never-ending grievances. I have repeatedly said that the politician who came closest in my view to the persona of the first woman president was Sen. Dianne Feinstein, whose steady nerves in crisis were demonstrated when she came to national attention after the mayor and a gay supervisor were murdered in their City Hall offices in San Francisco. Hillary Clinton, with her schizophrenic alteration of personae, has never seemed presidential to me — and certainly not in her bland and overpraised farewell speech at the Democratic convention (which skittered from slow, pompous condescension to trademark stridency to unseemly haste).

Feinstein, with her deep knowledge of military matters, has true gravitas and knows how to shrewdly thrust and parry with pesky TV interviewers. But her style is reserved, discreet, mandarin. The gun-toting Sarah Palin is like Annie Oakley, a brash ambassador from America’s pioneer past. She immediately reminded me of the frontier women of the Western states, which first granted women the right to vote after the Civil War — long before the federal amendment guaranteeing universal woman suffrage was passed in 1919. Frontier women faced the same harsh challenges and had to tackle the same chores as men did — which is why men could regard them as equals, unlike the genteel, corseted ladies of the Eastern seaboard, which fought granting women the vote right to the bitter end.

Over the Labor Day weekend, with most of the big enchiladas of the major media on vacation, the vacuum was filled with a hallucinatory hurricane in the leftist blogosphere, which unleashed a grotesquely lurid series of allegations, fantasies, half-truths and outright lies about Palin. What a tacky low in American politics — which has already caused a backlash that could damage Obama’s campaign. When liberals come off as childish, raving loonies, the right wing gains. I am still waiting for substantive evidence that Sarah Palin is a dangerous extremist. I am perfectly willing to be convinced, but right now, she seems to be merely an optimistic pragmatist like Ronald Reagan, someone who pays lip service to religious piety without being in the least wedded to it. I don’t see her arrival as portending the end of civil liberties or life as we know it.

One reason I live in the leafy suburbs of Philadelphia and have never moved to New York or Washington is that, as a cultural analyst, I want to remain in touch with the mainstream of American life. I frequent fast-food restaurants, shop at the mall, and periodically visit Wal-Mart (its bird-seed section is nonpareil). Like Los Angeles and San Francisco, Manhattan and Washington occupy their own mental zones — nice to visit but not a place to stay if you value independent thought these days. Ambitious professionals in those cities, if they want to preserve their social networks, are very vulnerable to received opinion. At receptions and parties (which I hate), they’re sitting ducks. They have to go along to get along — poor dears!

It is certainly premature to predict how the Palin saga will go. I may not agree a jot with her about basic principles, but I have immensely enjoyed Palin’s boffo performances at her debut and at the Republican convention, where she astonishingly dealt with multiple technical malfunctions without missing a beat. A feminism that cannot admire the bravura under high pressure of the first woman governor of a frontier state isn’t worth a warm bucket of spit.

Perhaps Palin seemed perfectly normal to me because she resembles so many women I grew up around in the snow belt of upstate New York. For example, there were the robust and hearty farm women of Oxford, a charming village where my father taught high school when I was a child. We first lived in an apartment on the top floor of a farmhouse on a working dairy farm. Our landlady, who was as physically imposing as her husband, was an all-American version of the Italian immigrant women of my grandmother’s generation — agrarian powerhouses who could do anything and whose trumpetlike voices could pierce stone walls.

Here’s one episode. My father and his visiting brother, a dapper barber by trade, were standing outside having a smoke when a great noise came from the nearby barn. A calf had escaped. Our landlady yelled, “Stop her!” as the calf came careening at full speed toward my father and uncle, who both instinctively stepped back as the calf galloped through the mud between them. Irate, our landlady trudged past them to the upper pasture, cornered the calf, and carried that massive animal back to the barn in her arms. As she walked by my father and uncle, she exclaimed in amused disgust, “Men!”

Now that’s the Sarah Palin brand of can-do, no-excuses, moose-hunting feminism — a world away from the whining, sniping, wearily ironic mode of the establishment feminism represented by Gloria Steinem, a Hillary Clinton supporter whose shameless Democratic partisanship over the past four decades has severely limited American feminism and not allowed it to become the big tent it can and should be. Sarah Palin, if her reputation survives the punishing next two months, may be breaking down those barriers. Feminism, which should be about equal rights and equal opportunity, should not be a closed club requiring an ideological litmus test for membership.

Here’s another example of the physical fortitude and indomitable spirit that Palin as an Alaskan sportswoman seems to represent right now. Last year, Toronto’s Globe and Mail reprinted this remarkable obituary from 1905:

Abigail Becker Farmer and homemaker born in Frontenac County, Upper Canada, on March 14, 1830

A tall, handsome woman “who feared God greatly and the living or dead not at all,” she married a widower with six children and settled in a trapper’s cabin on Long Point, Lake Erie. On Nov. 23, 1854, with her husband away, she single-handedly rescued the crew of the schooner Conductor of Buffalo, which had run aground in a storm. The crew had clung to the frozen rigging all night, not daring to enter the raging surf. In the early morning, she waded chin-high into the water (she could not swim) and helped seven men reach shore. She was awarded medals for heroism and received $350 collected by the people of Buffalo, plus a handwritten letter from Queen Victoria that was accompanied by £50, all of which went toward buying a farm. She lost her husband to a storm, raised 17 children alone and died at Walsingham Centre, Ont.

Frontier women were far bolder and hardier than today’s pampered, petulant bourgeois feminists, always looking to blame their complaints about life on someone else.

But what of Palin’s pro-life stand? Creationism taught in schools? Book banning? Gay conversions? The Iraq war as God’s plan? Zionism as a prelude to the apocalypse? We’ll see how these big issues shake out. Right now, I don’t believe much of what I read or hear about Palin in the media. To automatically assume that she is a religious fanatic who has embraced the most extreme ideas of her local church is exactly the kind of careless reasoning that has been unjustly applied to Barack Obama, whom the right wing is still trying to tar with the fulminating anti-American sermons of his longtime preacher, Jeremiah Wright.

The witch-trial hysteria of the past two incendiary weeks unfortunately reveals a disturbing trend in the Democratic Party, which has worsened over the past decade. Democrats are quick to attack the religiosity of Republicans, but Democratic ideology itself seems to have become a secular substitute religion. Since when did Democrats become so judgmental and intolerant? Conservatives are demonized, with the universe polarized into a Manichaean battle of us versus them, good versus evil. Democrats are clinging to pat group opinions as if they were inflexible moral absolutes. The party is in peril if it cannot observe and listen and adapt to changing social circumstances.

Let’s take the issue of abortion rights, of which I am a firm supporter. As an atheist and libertarian, I believe that government must stay completely out of the sphere of personal choice. Every individual has an absolute right to control his or her body. (Hence I favor the legalization of drugs, though I do not take them.) Nevertheless, I have criticized the way that abortion became the obsessive idée fixe of the post-1960s women’s movement — leading to feminists’ McCarthyite tactics in pitting Anita Hill with her flimsy charges against conservative Clarence Thomas (admittedly not the most qualified candidate possible) during his nomination hearings for the Supreme Court. Similarly, Bill Clinton’s support for abortion rights gave him a free pass among leading feminists for his serial exploitation of women — an abusive pattern that would scream misogyny to any neutral observer.

But the pro-life position, whether or not it is based on religious orthodoxy, is more ethically highly evolved than my own tenet of unconstrained access to abortion on demand. My argument (as in my first book, “Sexual Personae,”) has always been that nature has a master plan pushing every species toward procreation and that it is our right and even obligation as rational human beings to defy nature’s fascism. Nature herself is a mass murderer, making casual, cruel experiments and condemning 10,000 to die so that one more fit will live and thrive.

Hence I have always frankly admitted that abortion is murder, the extermination of the powerless by the powerful. Liberals for the most part have shrunk from facing the ethical consequences of their embrace of abortion, which results in the annihilation of concrete individuals and not just clumps of insensate tissue. The state in my view has no authority whatever to intervene in the biological processes of any woman’s body, which nature has implanted there before birth and hence before that woman’s entrance into society and citizenship.

On the other hand, I support the death penalty for atrocious crimes (such as rape-murder or the murder of children). I have never understood the standard Democratic combo of support for abortion and yet opposition to the death penalty. Surely it is the guilty rather than the innocent who deserve execution?

What I am getting at here is that not until the Democratic Party stringently reexamines its own implicit assumptions and rhetorical formulas will it be able to deal effectively with the enduring and now escalating challenge from the pro-life right wing. Because pro-choice Democrats have been arguing from cold expedience, they have thus far been unable to make an effective ethical case for the right to abortion.

The gigantic, instantaneous coast-to-coast rage directed at Sarah Palin when she was identified as pro-life was, I submit, a psychological response by loyal liberals who on some level do not want to open themselves to deep questioning about abortion and its human consequences. I have written about the eerie silence that fell over campus audiences in the early 1990s when I raised this issue on my book tours. At such moments, everyone in the hall seemed to feel the uneasy conscience of feminism. Naomi Wolf later bravely tried to address this same subject but seems to have given up in the face of the resistance she encountered.

If Sarah Palin tries to intrude her conservative Christian values into secular government, then she must be opposed and stopped. But she has every right to express her views and to argue for society’s acceptance of the high principle of the sanctity of human life. If McCain wins the White House and then drops dead, a President Palin would have the power to appoint conservative judges to the Supreme Court, but she could not control their rulings.

It is nonsensical and counterproductive for Democrats to imagine that pro-life values can be defeated by maliciously destroying their proponents. And it is equally foolish to expect that feminism must for all time be inextricably wed to the pro-choice agenda. There is plenty of room in modern thought for a pro-life feminism — one in fact that would have far more appeal to third-world cultures where motherhood is still honored and where the Western model of the hard-driving, self-absorbed career woman is less admired.

But the one fundamental precept that Democrats must stand for is independent thought and speech. When they become baying bloodhounds of rigid dogma, Democrats have committed political suicide.

Camille Paglia’s column appears on the second Wednesday of each month. Every third column is devoted to reader letters. Please send questions for her next letters column to this mailbox. Your name and town will be published unless you request anonymity.

Thanks to all of the folks who have written about the use of cluster bombs and cluster munitions in Russia and Georgia:

• Re: Vast Write Wing – August 2008 by Lynn via The Vast Write Wing.
• Russia Has Dropped Cluster Bombs on Civilians by Gary via Turning Left.
• Russia Has Dropped Cluster Bombs on Civilians by Gary via Turning Left.
• The war comes to civilians… c’est terrible! by Chuck via From my position…on the way.
• Russia is Using Cluster Bombs by John via Shuck and Jive.
• Cluster bombs, lets support a ban on them by Shekhar via Shekhar Kapur.
• Russians Dropping Cluster Bombs Too; CNN REJECTS INCONVENIENT FACTS by Danny via News Dissector.
• Cluster Bombs put children and civilians lives at risk in Georgia by Andrew via Movedmountains.
• Russia Used Cluster Bombs in Georgia by John via PA Progressive.
• I Will Not Be Broken by Kelly via Don Mills Diva.
• I Will Not Be Broken book giveaway by Michelle via Big Blueberry Eyes.
• Russia, Georgia and South Ossetia – Survivor Corps by Lee via Better Communication Results.
• Spread The Word by Gargi via Heart Crossings.
• reality by Kyra via This Mom.
• Survivor Corps Criticizes Russia’s Use of Cluster Munitions on Georgian Civilians by Adam via Independent Media Center.
• Survivor Corps. Rise Above. Give Back. by Nicole via All 4 My Gals.
• From serious to silly by Heidi via Butterfly Mama.
• Alarming news about Russia’s use of cluster bombs by Rich via Rich Patrick.
• America’s Strategic Blunder in Georgia and the Death of the Rose Revolution by Joshua via Washington Hotlist.
• What’s Behind Russia’s Invasion Of Georgia? by Joshua via Washington Hotlist.
• Russia accused on cluster bomb use in Georgian republic by Simon via Simon Barrow’s Blog.
• Cluster Bombs. by Gary via A Bump in the Road..
• Survivor Corps Criticizes use of Cluster Munitions in Russia Georgia Conflict by Peter via Ontario.
• Late Night Update by Brian via Political Action.
• War on civilians by Philip via Shakespeare’s Sister.
• Feeling Funk-y by Tonie via Army of Mom.
• Jerry White: The use of Cluster Bombs in the 21st Century by Sequoyah Kofi Ade via Inteligentaindigena Novajoservo.
• Survivor Corps, Cluster Bombs, and Me by Gary via Gary Presley.
• Cluster frack by Erik via Gristmill.
• Survivorcorps and Ban Cluster Bombs by Steve via Yoga and Judaism Center.
• Ban all Cluster Munitions by via Peace Garden.
• Bomblets Again by Michael via Cobb.
• I Will Not Be Broken by Sue via Praise and Coffee.
• From Survivor Corps by Lori via My Life as a Hot Professional.

The gang from Survivor Corps thanks you for your passionate responses — and there are more coming in every day!

Please join others from around the world by signing the People’s Treaty to say that YOU want to ban cluster bombs forever. Your Senators must tell the military to stop using cluster bombs, and your Senators like hearing from people like you! Tell your Senators to ban cluster bombs.

1. Markets are conversations.
2. Markets consist of human beings, not demographic sectors.
3. Conversations among human beings sound human. They are conducted in a human voice.
4. Whether delivering information, opinions, perspectives, dissenting arguments or humorous asides, the human voice is typically open, natural, uncontrived.
5. People recognize each other as such from the sound of this voice.
6. The Internet is enabling conversations among human beings that were simply not possible in the era of mass media.
7. Hyperlinks subvert hierarchy.
8. In both internetworked markets and among intranetworked employees, people are speaking to each other in a powerful new way.
9. These networked conversations are enabling powerful new forms of social organization and knowledge exchange to emerge.
10. As a result, markets are getting smarter, more informed, more organized. Participation in a networked market changes people fundamentally.
11. People in networked markets have figured out that they get far better information and support from one another than from vendors. So much for corporate rhetoric about adding value to commoditized products.
12. There are no secrets. The networked market knows more than companies do about their own products. And whether the news is good or bad, they tell everyone.
13. What’s happening to markets is also happening among employees. A metaphysical construct called “The Company” is the only thing standing between the two.
14. Corporations do not speak in the same voice as these new networked conversations. To their intended online audiences, companies sound hollow, flat, literally inhuman.
15. In just a few more years, the current homogenized “voice” of business—the sound of mission statements and brochures—will seem as contrived and artificial as the language of the 18th century French court.
16. Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone.
17. Companies that assume online markets are the same markets that used to watch their ads on television are kidding themselves.
18. Companies that don’t realize their markets are now networked person-to-person, getting smarter as a result and deeply joined in conversation are missing their best opportunity.
19. Companies can now communicate with their markets directly. If they blow it, it could be their last chance.
20. Companies need to realize their markets are often laughing. At them.
21. Companies need to lighten up and take themselves less seriously. They need to get a sense of humor.
22. Getting a sense of humor does not mean putting some jokes on the corporate web site. Rather, it requires big values, a little humility, straight talk, and a genuine point of view.
23. Companies attempting to “position” themselves need to take a position. Optimally, it should relate to something their market actually cares about.
24. Bombastic boasts—”We are positioned to become the preeminent provider of XYZ”—do not constitute a position.
25. Companies need to come down from their Ivory Towers and talk to the people with whom they hope to create relationships.
26. Public Relations does not relate to the public. Companies are deeply afraid of their markets.
27. By speaking in language that is distant, uninviting, arrogant, they build walls to keep markets at bay.
28. Most marketing programs are based on the fear that the market might see what’s really going on inside the company.
29. Elvis said it best: “We can’t go on together with suspicious minds.”
30. Brand loyalty is the corporate version of going steady, but the breakup is inevitable—and coming fast. Because they are networked, smart markets are able to renegotiate relationships with blinding speed.
31. Networked markets can change suppliers overnight. Networked knowledge workers can change employers over lunch. Your own “downsizing initiatives” taught us to ask the question: “Loyalty? What’s that?”
32. Smart markets will find suppliers who speak their own language.
33. Learning to speak with a human voice is not a parlor trick. It can’t be “picked up” at some tony conference.
34. To speak with a human voice, companies must share the concerns of their communities.
35. But first, they must belong to a community.
36. Companies must ask themselves where their corporate cultures end.
37. If their cultures end before the community begins, they will have no market.
38. Human communities are based on discourse—on human speech about human concerns.
39. The community of discourse is the market.
40. Companies that do not belong to a community of discourse will die.
41. Companies make a religion of security, but this is largely a red herring. Most are protecting less against competitors than against their own market and workforce.
42. As with networked markets, people are also talking to each other directly inside the company—and not just about rules and regulations, boardroom directives, bottom lines.
43. Such conversations are taking place today on corporate intranets. But only when the conditions are right.
44. Companies typically install intranets top-down to distribute HR policies and other corporate information that workers are doing their best to ignore.
45. Intranets naturally tend to route around boredom. The best are built bottom-up by engaged individuals cooperating to construct something far more valuable: an intranetworked corporate conversation.
46. A healthy intranet organizes workers in many meanings of the word. Its effect is more radical than the agenda of any union.
47. While this scares companies witless, they also depend heavily on open intranets to generate and share critical knowledge. They need to resist the urge to “improve” or control these networked conversations.
48. When corporate intranets are not constrained by fear and legalistic rules, the type of conversation they encourage sounds remarkably like the conversation of the networked marketplace.
49. Org charts worked in an older economy where plans could be fully understood from atop steep management pyramids and detailed work orders could be handed down from on high.
50. Today, the org chart is hyperlinked, not hierarchical. Respect for hands-on knowledge wins over respect for abstract authority.
51. Command-and-control management styles both derive from and reinforce bureaucracy, power tripping and an overall culture of paranoia.
52. Paranoia kills conversation. That’s its point. But lack of open conversation kills companies.
53. There are two conversations going on. One inside the company. One with the market.
54. In most cases, neither conversation is going very well. Almost invariably, the cause of failure can be traced to obsolete notions of command and control.
55. As policy, these notions are poisonous. As tools, they are broken. Command and control are met with hostility by intranetworked knowledge workers and generate distrust in internetworked markets.
56. These two conversations want to talk to each other. They are speaking the same language. They recognize each other’s voices.
57. Smart companies will get out of the way and help the inevitable to happen sooner.
58. If willingness to get out of the way is taken as a measure of IQ, then very few companies have yet wised up.
59. However subliminally at the moment, millions of people now online perceive companies as little more than quaint legal fictions that are actively preventing these conversations from intersecting.
60. This is suicidal. Markets want to talk to companies.
61. Sadly, the part of the company a networked market wants to talk to is usually hidden behind a smokescreen of hucksterism, of language that rings false—and often is.
62. Markets do not want to talk to flacks and hucksters. They want to participate in the conversations going on behind the corporate firewall.
63. De-cloaking, getting personal: We are those markets. We want to talk to you.
64. We want access to your corporate information, to your plans and strategies, your best thinking, your genuine knowledge. We will not settle for the 4-color brochure, for web sites chock-a-block with eye candy but lacking any substance.
65. We’re also the workers who make your companies go. We want to talk to customers directly in our own voices, not in platitudes written into a script.
66. As markets, as workers, both of us are sick to death of getting our information by remote control. Why do we need faceless annual reports and third-hand market research studies to introduce us to each other?
67. As markets, as workers, we wonder why you’re not listening. You seem to be speaking a different language.
68. The inflated self-important jargon you sling around—in the press, at your conferences—what’s that got to do with us?
69. Maybe you’re impressing your investors. Maybe you’re impressing Wall Street. You’re not impressing us.
70. If you don’t impress us, your investors are going to take a bath. Don’t they understand this? If they did, they wouldn’t let you talk that way.
71. Your tired notions of “the market” make our eyes glaze over. We don’t recognize ourselves in your projections—perhaps because we know we’re already elsewhere.
72. We like this new marketplace much better. In fact, we are creating it.
73. You’re invited, but it’s our world. Take your shoes off at the door. If you want to barter with us, get down off that camel!
74. We are immune to advertising. Just forget it.
75. If you want us to talk to you, tell us something. Make it something interesting for a change.
76. We’ve got some ideas for you too: some new tools we need, some better service. Stuff we’d be willing to pay for. Got a minute?
77. You’re too busy “doing business” to answer our email? Oh gosh, sorry, gee, we’ll come back later. Maybe.
78. You want us to pay? We want you to pay attention.
79. We want you to drop your trip, come out of your neurotic self-involvement, join the party.
80. Don’t worry, you can still make money. That is, as long as it’s not the only thing on your mind.
81. Have you noticed that, in itself, money is kind of one-dimensional and boring? What else can we talk about?
82. Your product broke. Why? We’d like to ask the guy who made it. Your corporate strategy makes no sense. We’d like to have a chat with your CEO. What do you mean she’s not in?
83. We want you to take 50 million of us as seriously as you take one reporter from The Wall Street Journal.
84. We know some people from your company. They’re pretty cool online. Do you have any more like that you’re hiding? Can they come out and play?
85. When we have questions we turn to each other for answers. If you didn’t have such a tight rein on “your people” maybe they’d be among the people we’d turn to.
86. When we’re not busy being your “target market,” many of us are your people. We’d rather be talking to friends online than watching the clock. That would get your name around better than your entire million dollar web site. But you tell us speaking to the market is Marketing’s job.
87. We’d like it if you got what’s going on here. That’d be real nice. But it would be a big mistake to think we’re holding our breath.
88. We have better things to do than worry about whether you’ll change in time to get our business. Business is only a part of our lives. It seems to be all of yours. Think about it: who needs whom?
89. We have real power and we know it. If you don’t quite see the light, some other outfit will come along that’s more attentive, more interesting, more fun to play with.
90. Even at its worst, our newfound conversation is more interesting than most trade shows, more entertaining than any TV sitcom, and certainly more true-to-life than the corporate web sites we’ve been seeing.
91. Our allegiance is to ourselves—our friends, our new allies and acquaintances, even our sparring partners. Companies that have no part in this world, also have no future.
92. Companies are spending billions of dollars on Y2K. Why can’t they hear this market timebomb ticking? The stakes are even higher.
93. We’re both inside companies and outside them. The boundaries that separate our conversations look like the Berlin Wall today, but they’re really just an annoyance. We know they’re coming down. We’re going to work from both sides to take them down.
94. To traditional corporations, networked conversations may appear confused, may sound confusing. But we are organizing faster than they are. We have better tools, more new ideas, no rules to slow us down.
95. We are waking up and linking to each other. We are watching. But we are not waiting.

Always remember! Never forget! If you’re in marketing or public relations and you have not read The Cluetrain Manifesto, it is about time — read it!

I have been going through Google Docs and discovered an internal document I would like to share with you from back in the beginning of 2007. Taylor Donlan wrote it to explain to our new staff how best to reach out to and engage online on behalf of our clients and in general. I was inspired to share it based on this comment by Jonathan Crawford from the article What motivated you to learn about social media? Check it out and tell me what you think:

When we approach someone online, we need to approach in the same way we would in the real world. If our goal is to develop relationships, we cannot “go for the kill” instantly. Instead, we must engage in some small talk first. We must engage the blogger and his or her post first, well before any discussion of our client or their related services.

To use Chris’s metaphor, in a professional context, we want them to ask us for our business card. We want to get them so interested in whatever service or client we are touting that they are asking us for more information. This does not mean we air drop business cards everywhere or give one to every person on the street – those cards are thrown away. In the real world, it is much more effective to develop some kind of individual connection before exchanging business cards – they are much more likely to keep the cards, and remember you. In the future, they are more likely to be open to doing something for you.

For a more basic metaphor, imagine meeting someone in a bar. You don’t go right up to someone and jump into a conversation or ask them for favors. Instead you ease into conversation by engaging something that you notice about them or that stands out about your general surroundings. You need to build some rapport in terms that are common to both parties before you can get to any deeper level.

In the blog world, we are trying to do the same. When you make a comment on a post show that you have paid some attention to their post and add something meaningful – feel free to Google the subject matter and share some additional information or just share your general feelings on the subject matter. Then and only then is it acceptable to broach the subject of our client or their services.

Whenever possible, we pose our engagement campaigns in terms of offering “a gift” – usually a service or piece of information that will likely prove useful to the blogger and/or their readers at no cost. While this “free gift” approach reduces the appearance of any spam quality to our engagements, it is still necessary to ease into the gift offering. We are not in the business of spamming, and it will not be tolerated.

Another important point is that we believe in transparency. We are not interested in being deceitful. Admit proudly that you work for Abraham Harrison and whomever the client might be. Our engagement campaigns aim to offer a gift to bloggers, and there is no shame in our business.

According to an online quiz on Details, “Are Your That Guy,” I am totally that guy: a total douchebag, apparently.

1 You initiate fist bumps.
Yes
No

Someone told me that high-fives are passe so I have replaced them with bumps and regular, manly, handshakes.

2 You order foreign dishes in an accent.
Yes
No

I ask for foreign dishes, yes, properly. If the dish is French then I order it in French and if it is Mexican, I pronounce it in Spanish. And in Germany, I sort of need to order it in German. If you do it right, you don’t really draw much attention to yourself.

3 You shave your head at the first sign of balding.
Yes
No

I would totally either shave my head or crop it close if I started balding.

4 You use any word Stephen Colbert invented.
Yes
No

I use as many words as I can remember if they were coined by Stephen Colbert.

5 You have an elaborate bedtime ritual on planes—with neck pillow, sleep mask, and noise-canceling headphones.
Yes
No

People with sleeping rituals of any kind need to lose their guy card immediately.

6 You have a downloaded ring tone.
Yes
No

I am quite amused with classic, normal, default ringtones; however, I really enjoyed sporting the “bring out your dead” skit from Monty Python.

7 You wave someone along even though they have the right of way.
Yes
No

I think I have forgotten who actually does have right-of-way at 4-way intersections, so if I feel like I arrived a millisecond later than another, I will wave and wave.

8 You say the name of the town where your Ivy League alma mater is located instead of the name of the school.
Yes
No

If I had actually gone to an Ivy League school, I would totally say New Haven or Boston or wherever.

9 You own a Manchester United jersey.
Yes
No

No, I am afraid not. I almost bought a Norwich Canaries jersey but decided not to.

10 You quote Borat, Zoolander, or Anchorman, or reference “TPS reports” and “pieces of flair.”
Yes
No

I don’t have the best memory for these things but I made a Zoolander reference just the other day — a Blue Steel reference.

11 You put your BlackBerry on the table when you sit down at a restaurant.
Yes
No

Yes.  In fact, all of my friends deBerry and dePhone the moment we sit down for food — not to show off but because I always have too much shit in my pockets.

12 You talk baby talk to your girlfriend on your office phone.
Yes
No

I don’t have a girlfriend presently but all indicators point to “yes.”

13 You offer to buy a cigarette from people outside bars.
Yes
No

No, I have too much of a problem with entitlement — I would never offer to buy.

14 You order “off-menu.”
Yes
No

Food isn’t really my bag and restaurant-going isn’t my bag, and I am pretty much omnivorous, so, like a diesel, I can run on anything.

15 You own a reptile.
Yes
No

Spike, God rest your little soul

16 You say “My bad.”
Yes
No

I hate that I say this. My bad.

17 You describe your relationship status by saying “It’s complicated.”
Yes
No

With me, it always is.

18 You say “We’re pregnant.”
Yes
No

I would love to say this — I will totally be that guy, if that guy says, “we’re pregnant.”

19 You have destination-related car stickers like MV, NTK, PVT, HMP, or NPT.
Yes
No

I might actually get myself a vanity plate. I never have, yet, but I aspire to.

20 You make a show out of tasting wine.
Yes
No

I tried to make a point of being fussy over coffee and cheese, but what’s the use.

21 You preface statements with “spoiler alert.”
Yes
No

I am Mr. Online and have been beaten down by spoiling, so I have learned my lesson.

22 You don’t wash last night’s admission stamp off your hand.
Yes
No

I am not likely to scrub off the thing.  Does that mean I am preserve it or am I just dirty?

23 You use abbreviations like TBD, ASAP, and BFD in conversation and sign off e-mails with “thx” or “cheers.”
Yes
No

I have been signing emails with “Cheers, Chris” forever.

24 You wear flip-flops, Croakies, Crocs, or board shorts in the city.
Yes
No

My only excuse here is that I grew up in Hawaii and I never used to wear flip-flops (rubber slippers) in the city until it because ubiquitous.

25 You have a nighttime wardrobe that includes a going-out shirt, concert merchandise, or limited-edition sneakers you bought in Tokyo.
Yes
No

I pretty much wear a uniform, no matter what the situation. I have “dressed up” and “dressed down” and “dressed up with jacked.”

26 You say “I need my Starbucks.”
Yes
No

It might sound a little prissy until I tell you that most of the coffee you drink, especially from Dunkin’ Donuts, is really a lot lot worse than Starbucks. You may think Starbuck’s coffee is “burnt” but the truth is, you just have poor taste in coffee. You’re decidedly “truck stop” class.

27 You refer to the woman you’re casually hooking up with as a “friend with benefits.”
Yes
No

28 You pretend not to know who Spencer Pratt is.
Yes
No

I actually don’t know who Spencer Pratt. How do I answer? Yes or no?

29 You offer advice to women on their “form” at the gym.
Yes
No

30 You call friends and colleagues by their last names.
Yes
No

I call David Gelles “Gelles” — but one is enough. I should start colling Andrew Curry, “Curry,” but I don’t.

31 You refer to a date/girlfriend’s having done some “print work.”
Yes
No

I am not much of a modelizer.

32 You describe anything good as “sick.”
Yes
No

I have referred to things as “sweet,” — where does that fall?

33 You refer to your wife as “the ol’ ball and chain” and say “I’ll take the request to management.”
Yes
No

I might never refer to my wife as my wife.  She is “Stephanie” or “Michelle.”

34 You refer to a trip to the gym as a “legs day.”
Yes
No

35 You go to a show to see the opening band.
Yes
No

If I like the opening band, I go to a show for the opening band.

36 You think Hayden Panettiere is hot.
Yes
No

As a huge Heroes fan, who in the hell wouldn’t think that  Hayden Panettiere is hot?

37 You put your kid in a Che Guevara T-shirt.
Yes
No

I love Che.

38 You include the names of your kids and pets in your home outgoing message.
Yes
No

I would, the moment I can find a woman who might be willing to breed with me.

39 You refer to money as “Benjamins,” “dead presidents,” “ducats,” or “coin.”
Yes
No

I like to be as colloquial as possible when it comes to coin.

40 You bitch about your contractor at parties.
Yes
No

I totally bitch about my contractors, who are actually employees!  Not a lot of bitch about these days — they’re a well-oiled machine, yo.

41 You talk about a record “dropping.”
Yes
No

I am actually old enough to remember when you would stack records on a record player and they would drop down, get played, and then another would drop, and it would be played, too.  The “record” version of a multi-CD player.

42 You half-tuck your shirt.
Yes
No

I think the half-tucked shirts look cool but I am not cool enough to pull it off.

43 You have a goatee.
Yes
No

I am either clean-shaven or I have a beard — sometimes, just scruff.  Never a goatee. Back in the day, though, my girlfriend Michelle demanded her beoyfriends have goatees (what’s up with that) and I complied.

44 You refer to anything as “small-batch” or “artisanal.”
Yes
No

Like I mentioned before, I was well into cheeses and into hams and into other foodie things and I was very much into getting as many whole milk cheeses as possible. And, when you want to get whole milk goat cheese of and elite quality, you need to go “artisanal.”

45 You refer to any last-stop bar as “the 19th hole.”
Yes
No

I refer to as many things as possible as “the 19th hole.”

46 You’re a Caucasian with a tattoo in Asian lettering.
Yes
No

Tatoos appal me.

47 You Evite.
Yes
No

I have Evited people for years and year by now. I love it.

48 You own a wine Rabbit.
Yes
No

I am a huge fan of the very basic “Waiter’s Friend” or the Laguiole knife/wine opener.

49 You proselytize about carbon footprints.
Yes
No

I am very anti-climate change hypocrisy.

50 You name your kid after a character in To Kill a Mockingbird.
Yes
No

My son or daughter will surely be named after some character or actor. I am a huge film-lover and also have a degree in American Literature with a minor in creative writing. It is bound to happen.

51 You use the phrase flyover states.
Yes
No

52 You use the word bicoastal.
Yes
No

Yes, but when I use the term bicoastal, I mean American and Europe; Washington, DC, and Berlin, Germany.  Bicontinental, I guess.

53 You pretend to like country music.
Yes
No

I actually do love country music, especially bluegrass.

54 You wear DJ headphones.
Yes
No

Nope. Just simple buds.

55 You use a Bluetooth headset.
Yes
No

I drive in Washington, DC, and do most of my conference calls enroute. I own two bluetooth headsets: a Motorola and a Jawbone.

56 You call muscle groups by shortened versions of their technical names, like “lats,” “traps,” and “pecs.”
Yes
No

I used to be a wrestler and also a college rower, so you sort of just do call them traps, quads, lats, pec, etc.

As divers, we all know what the effects of compressed gas are underwater. Our training teaches us that our lungs would burst from over-inflation if we held our breath and rose to the surface. This principle is key to the effectiveness of the WASP Injection System.This weapon injects a frozen ball of compressed gas approximately the size of a basketball at 800psi nearly instantly. The effects of this injection will drop many of the world’s largest land predators. The effects of the compressed gas not only cause over-inflation during ascent when used underwater, but also freezes all tissues and organs surrounding the point of injection on land or at sea. When used underwater, the injected gas carries the predator to the surface BEFORE blood is released into the water. Thus giving the diver added protection by diverting other potential predators to the surface.

This is an op-ed written by Jerry White, founder of Survivor Corps and author of I Will Not Be Broken: Five Steps to Overcoming a Life Crisis, on the Fourth of July, 2008:

My first wish is to see this plague of mankind, war, banished from the earth.” These are not the words of a pacifist or peacenik. General George Washington, the canny military strategist and first leader of the American army, recognized that war is a horror. While we bask in our independence today, let us also recognize the price paid by those—then and now—who fight for it. After the Revolution, 25,000 Americans lay dead. About 25,000 more were seriously wounded or disabled. That is a high price, indeed, for our freedom. Since 1776, the world has fought more than 300 wars, and nearly 40 conflicts still rage. The cost remains steep.

Today, 1.6 million Americans have served in Afghanistan and Iraq. Over 4,000 are dead. Those who return are missing limbs, are disfigured, are coping with traumatic brain injuries. Still others have less visible wounds. Over 300,000 now exhibit symptoms of post-traumatic stress and alienation here at home. They have broken marriages, unchecked anger, thoughts of suicide. Their military service may be over, but they and their families (including over two million children) remain profoundly affected. The costs related to stress and depressive disorders may reach $6 billion over the next two years, according to a recent study by Rand.

And that’s where we, as civilians, must activate. We must commit ourselves as everyday people to reach out to these wounded warriors to help them overcome. Because I am here to tell you, nobody survives trauma alone.

I have spent the past twelve years building a global network of people helping each other overcome the terrible cost of war—helping “victims” become “survivors.” In over 116,000 peer visits across the war-torn regions of the world, we have learned a few things about what separates those who lie down and embrace their suffering, and those who rise above, rebuild their lives, and rejoin their communities.

Survivors who successfully overcome traumatic injuries follow five basic steps. First, they Face Facts. These people don’t run from the truth of what’s happened to them. They don’t deny injuries, or disfigurement, or anger. They look at them, and incorporate them into their lives.

Second, they consciously Choose Life. It is crucial to remind ourselves and each other why life is worth living. Rising suicide rates must be addressed head on, because most of these individuals don’t want to die as much as they want their pain and despair to end.

Third, true survivors Reach Out. They reject isolation and divisiveness. They know that, to move out of a war victim mentality and onto the path of positive survivorship, they must drop their shell of anger and resentment.

Fourth, survivors have to Get Moving. Those traumatized by war, whatever the condition of their bodies, must get active. We all must take responsibility to do what it takes to “get in shape” for whatever the future may hold.

The fifth—and perhaps most crucial key to resilience and recovery—is to Give Back. Survivors recognize that it’s better to be a benefactor, not just a beneficiary. Everyone can have a role to play and contribute in big and small ways to our families and neighborhoods. To the veterans who served in war, I say learn to serve again. Become active members of your communities. Show your strength, creativity and work ethic to your friends and neighbors. You may look different, you may feel different, but you can still contribute.

And to the United States, as we struggle to recover from the war trauma we experience as a nation, I offer the same practical advice: Face Facts. Choose Life. Reach Out. Get Moving. Give Back. Families and citizens remain divided over whether we should have gone into Iraq in the first place. The Revolutionary War was no different—many wanted to avoid war or align with England. (Benjamin Franklin’s own son, William, the Governor of New Jersey, remained loyal to Britain throughout the war, as did nearly 20% of the colonists.) But at the end of the war, then as now, we emerge as Americans.

When we can admit our imperfections and share our strength as survivors, as Americans, we are united. Certainly, as victims of war we have pain. We know loss and sacrifice. But we are still strong. Because it is more than just pain that unites us. It is our shared hope for humanity—our ability to overcome—that binds us together.

I am convinced that within each human being lies an inextinguishable flame, an irrepressible voice whose refrain is unmistakable: I choose freedom. I will not choose to hate, to wallow in self-pity, to retaliate. I instead choose to live, to thrive. I believe that this is the American way. Some say we are becoming less resilient and more cynical as a nation. And, if we keep making excuses and pushing our responsibilities to each other away, that is the path we will be on. But, I think we are better than that. I believe strength and generosity can be found within each and every one of us.

So, let’s honor our Day of Independence by uniting in empathy and support for families struggling with fresh wounds. In our mutual survivorship, there is no “us” and “them”—no civilian versus military, democrat versus republican, victim versus survivor. We are united in our commitment to one another. Choose resilience and optimism. Choose to reach out to those who are suffering. Let our lost loved ones, and their memories, cheer us onward and upward. And as fireworks explode behind the Washington Monument this July 4^th, let it commemorate and shout out America’s characteristic optimism and can-do confidence that we can and will overcome this “plague of mankind.”

I try to follow Anthony Citrano‘s blog, Cosmic Tap, but had fallen behind. I have to reblog his article, Reminder: People Are Stupid. I have always considered this to be true (see Wisdumb of Crowds: SAVE THE WHALES), but always need as much affirmation as possible, and Mr. Citrano give me all the ammo I need — but we do agree on one thing:

“I don’t think everyone is stupid – I just think the average American is too distracted or preoccupied or apathetic to pay attention to the stuff that some of us feel is important.”

Here’s the whole article, Reminder: People Are Stupid:

Whenever I hear about a poll telling me what a group of Americans think, I generally write it off. Now, folks, I don’t think everyone is stupid – I just think the average American is too distracted or preoccupied or apathetic to pay attention to the stuff that some of us feel is important.

Today, the press is all over the CBS/NYT poll that shows 81% of Americans feel the nation is “on the wrong track.” I agree with those Americans, but probably wouldn’t share their reasoning. What didn’t get as much attention was the recent “News IQ” poll by Pew Internet Life that drilled down a bit to explore what we know about things like our society, our government, and the war being fought with our dollars and our permission. I was pleasantly surprised at how relatively well people did.

Some highlights:

• Only 28% of respondents know approximately how many Americans have died in Iraq (and Pew notes that this is an all-time low and “awareness is dropping”).
• 70% knew Condi Rice is Secretary of State
• 62% could identify “Sunni” as the branch of Islam fighting the Shia in Iraq
• 56% knew McCain was from Arizona
• 40% knew Howard Dean chairs the DNC
• 35% knew Ben Bernanke chairs the Federal Reserve

Of course, these were phone interviews of 1000 people who were willing to sit through a phone trivia test, and who were given four multiple choice answers from which to choose. I frankly find the results impressive, but I’ll bet if they had conducted the same survey outside a Wal-Mart in middle America without the benefit of “multiple choice”, the numbers would have been much, much worse.

George Carlin was my first adult comedian. My dad — my parents — loved him. He was a true disruptor and free thinker, using comedy as his platform. Please check out George Carlin’s Wikipedia entry and the lovely obituary from the New York Times.

George Carlin, the Grammy-Award winning standup comedian and actor who was hailed for his irreverent social commentary, poignant observations of the absurdities of everyday life and language, and groundbreaking routines like “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television,” died in Santa Monica, Calif., on Sunday, according to his publicist, Jeff Abraham. He was 71.The cause of death was heart failure. Mr. Carlin, who had a history of heart problems, went into the hospital on Sunday afternoon after complaining of heart trouble. The comedian had worked last weekend at The Orleans in Las Vegas.

Recently, Mr. Carlin was named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. He was to receive the award at the Kennedy Center in November. “In his lengthy career as a comedian, writer, and actor, George Carlin has not only made us laugh, but he makes us think,” said Stephen A. Schwarzman, the Kennedy Center chairman. “His influence on the next generation of comics has been far-reaching.”

Mr. Carlin began his standup comedy act in the late 1950s and made his first television solo guest appearance on “The Merv Griffin Show” in 1965. At that time, he was primarily known for his clever wordplay and reminiscences of his Irish working-class upbringing in New York.

But from the outset there were indications of an anti-establishment edge to his comedy. Initially, it surfaced in the witty patter of a host of offbeat characters like the wacky sportscaster Biff Barf and the hippy-dippy weatherman Al Sleet. “The weather was dominated by a large Canadian low, which is not to be confused with a Mexican high. Tonight’s forecast . . . dark, continued mostly dark tonight turning to widely scattered light in the morning.”

Mr. Carlin released his first comedy album, “Take-Offs and Put-Ons,” to rave reviews in 1967. He also dabbled in acting, winning a recurring part as Marlo Thomas’ theatrical agent in the sitcom “That Girl” (1966-67) and a supporting role in the movie “With Six You Get Egg-Roll,” released in 1968.

By the end of the decade, he was one of America’s best known comedians. He made more than 80 major television appearances during that time, including the Ed Sullivan Show and Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show; he was also regularly featured at major nightclubs in New York and Las Vegas.

That early success and celebrity, however, was as dinky and hollow as a gratuitous pratfall to Mr. Carlin. “I was entertaining the fathers and the mothers of the people I sympathized with, and in some cases associated with, and whose point of view I shared,” he recalled later, as quoted in the book “Going Too Far” by Tony Hendra, which was published in 1987. “I was a traitor, in so many words. I was living a lie.”

In 1970, Mr. Carlin discarded his suit, tie, and clean-cut image as well as the relatively conventional material that had catapulted him to the top. Mr. Carlin reinvented himself, emerging with a beard, long hair, jeans and a routine that, according to one critic, was steeped in “drugs and bawdy language.” There was an immediate backlash. The Frontier Hotel in Las Vegas terminated his three-year contract, and, months later, he was advised to leave town when an angry mob threatened him at the Lake Geneva Playboy Club. Afterward, he temporarily abandoned the nightclub circuit and began appearing at coffee houses, folk clubs and colleges where he found a younger, hipper audience that was more attuned to both his new image and his material.

By 1972, when he released his second album, “FM & AM,” his star was again on the rise. The album, which won a Grammy Award as best comedy recording, combined older material on the “AM” side with bolder, more acerbic routines on the “FM” side. Among the more controversial cuts was a routine euphemistically entitled “Shoot,” in which Mr. Carlin explored the etymology and common usage of the popular idiom for excrement. The bit was part of the comic’s longer routine “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television,” which appeared on his third album “Class Clown,” also released in 1972.

“There are some words you can say part of the time. Most of the time ‘ass’ is all right on television,” Mr. Carlin noted in his introduction to the then controversial monologue. “You can say, well, ‘You’ve made a perfect ass of yourself tonight.’ You can use ass in a religious sense, if you happen to be the redeemer riding into town on one — perfectly all right.”

The material seems innocuous by today’s standards, but it caused an uproar when broadcast on the New York radio station WBAI in the early ’70s. The station was censured and fined by the FCC. And in 1978, their ruling was supported by the Supreme Court, which Time magazine reported, “upheld an FCC ban on ‘offensive material’ during hours when children are in the audience.” Mr. Carlin refused to drop the bit and was arrested several times after reciting it on stage.

By the mid-’70s, like his comic predecessor Lenny Bruce and the fast-rising Richard Pryor, Mr. Carlin had emerged as a cultural renegade. In addition to his irreverent jests about religion and politics, he openly talked about the use of drugs, including acid and peyote, and said that he kicked cocaine not for moral or legal reasons but after he found “far more pain in the deal than pleasure.” But the edgier, more biting comedy he developed during this period, along with his candid admission of drug use, cemented his reputation as the “comic voice of the counterculture.”

Mr. Carlin released a half dozen comedy albums during the ’70s, including the million-record sellers “Class Clown,” “Occupation: Foole” (1973) and “An Evening With Wally Lando” (1975). He was chosen to host the first episode of the late-night comedy show “Saturday Night Live” in 1975. And two years later, he found the perfect platform for his brand of acerbic, cerebral, sometimes off-color standup humor in the fledgling, less restricted world of cable television. By 1977, when his first HBO comedy special, “George Carlin at USC” was aired, he was recognized as one of the era’s most influential comedians. He also become a best-selling author of books that expanded on his comedy routines, including “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?,” which was published by Hyperion in 2004.

Pursuing a Dream

Mr. Carlin was born in New York City in 1937. “I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio,” he said. “My grandfather, mother and father were gifted verbally, and my mother passed that along to me. She always made sure I was conscious of language and words.”

He quit high school to join the Air Force in the mid-’50s and, while stationed in Shreveport, La., worked as a radio disc jockey. Discharged in 1957, he set out to pursue his boyhood dream of becoming an actor and comic. He moved to Boston where he met and teamed up with Jack Burns, a newscaster and comedian. The team worked on radio stations in Boston, Fort Worth, and Los Angeles, and performed in clubs throughout the country during the late ’50s.

After attracting the attention of the comedian Mort Sahl, who dubbed them “a duo of hip wits,” they appeared as guests on “The Tonight Show” with Jack Paar. Still, the Carlin-Burns team was only moderately successful, and, in 1960, Mr. Carlin struck out on his own.

During a career that spanned five decades, he emerged as one of the most durable, productive and versatile comedians of his era. He evolved from Jerry Seinfeld-like whimsy and a buttoned-down decorum in the ’60s to counterculture icon in the ’70s. By the ’80s, he was known as a scathing social critic who could artfully wring laughs from a list of oxymorons that ranged from “jumbo shrimp” to “military intelligence.” And in the 1990s and into the 21st century the balding but still pony-tailed comic prowled the stage — eyes ablaze and bristling with intensity — as the circuit’s most splenetic curmudgeon.

During his live 1996 HBO special, “Back in Town,” he raged over the shallowness of the ’90s “me first” culture — mocking the infatuation with camcorders, hyphenated names, sneakers with lights on them, and lambasting white guys over 10 years old who wear their baseball hats backwards. Baby boomers, “who went from ‘do your thing’ to ‘just say no’ …from cocaine to Rogaine,” and pro life advocates (“How come when it’s us it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken it’s an omelet?”), were some of his prime targets. In the years following his 1977 cable debut, Mr. Carlin was nominated for a half dozen Grammy awards and received CableAces awards for best stand-up comedy special for “George Carlin: Doin’ It Again (1990) and “George Carlin: Jammin’ ” (1992). He also won his second Grammy for the album “Jammin” in 1994.

Personal Struggles

During the course of his career, Mr. Carlin overcame numerous personal trials. His early arrests for obscenity (all of which were dismissed) and struggle to overcome his self-described “heavy drug use” were the most publicized. But in the ’80s he also weathered serious tax problems, a heart attack and two open heart surgeries.

In December 2004 he entered a rehabilitation center to address his addictions to Vicodin and red wine. Mr. Carlin had a well-chronicled cocaine problem in his 30s, and though he was able to taper his cocaine use on his own, he said, he continued to abuse alcohol and also became addicted to Vicodin. He entered rehab at the end of that year, then took two months off before continuing his comedy tours.

“Standup is the centerpiece of my life, my business, my art, my survival and my way of being,” Mr. Carlin once told an interviewer. “This is my art, to interpret the world.” But, while it always took center stage in his career, Mr. Carlin did not restrict himself to the comedy stage. He frequently indulged his childhood fantasy of becoming a movie star. Among his later credits were supporting parts in “Car Wash” (1976), “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” (1989), “The Prince of Tides” (1991), and “Dogma” (1999).

His 1997 book, “Brain Droppings,” became an instant best seller. And among several continuing TV roles, he starred in the Fox sitcom “The George Carlin Show,” which aired for one season. “That was an experiment on my part to see if there might be a way I could fit into the corporate entertainment structure,” he said after the show was canceled in 1994. “And I don’t,” he added.

Despite the longevity of his career and his problematic personal life, Mr. Carlin remained one of the most original and productive comedians in show business. “It’s his lifelong affection for language and passion for truth that continue to fuel his performances,” a critic observed of the comedian when he was in his mid-60s. And Chris Albrecht, an HBO executive, said, “He is as prolific a comedian as I have witnessed.”

Mr. Carlin is survived by his wife, Sally Wade; daughter Kelly Carlin McCall; son-in-law, Bob McCall, brother, Patrick Carlin and sister-in-law, Marlene Carlin. His first wife, Brenda Hosbrook, died in 1997.

Although some criticized parts of his later work as too contentious, Mr. Carlin defended the material, insisting that his comedy had always been driven by an intolerance for the shortcomings of humanity and society. “Scratch any cynic,” he said, “and you’ll find a disappointed idealist.”

Still, when pushed to explain the pessimism and overt spleen that had crept into his act, he quickly reaffirmed the zeal that inspired his lists of complaints and grievances. “I don’t have pet peeves,” he said, correcting the interviewer. And with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he added, “I have major, psychotic hatreds.”

In memory of George Carlin, here they are:

• Shit
• Piss
• Fuck
• Cunt
• Cocksucker
• Motherfucker
• Tits

My friend Momotaro, the fellow who created the banner for Memes.org, was so amused by the first comment that someone posted onto my blog post, Don’t Save the Whales and Don’t Save the Rainforest Either, that he created the following anthology of really intelligent put-downs, I Hope a Whale Beaches Itself On You — it is bloody brilliant!

1. 1. jenn wrote:

      i think you are a fucked up person considering you dont care about anything but your self i hope a whale beaches it self on you

      Thursday, January 3, 2008 at 6:46 pm #

   2. Saul wrote:

      One thing is true if you are an extremist you are off balance. If you are a fundamentalist in any direction you are off balance. All this needs is a holistic approach. Make money, but don’t sacrifice your children for it. Save whales but make sure to not be depressed by the fact that you might not. Fucked up is what happens when you forget what is most important to your existence and your families existence – which is in the here and now.

      Thursday, January 3, 2008 at 7:14 pm #

   3. johndoe@aol.com wrote:

      blow me, bitch! you need a brain.

      Tuesday, January 15, 2008 at 4:04 am #

   4. Chris wrote:

      johndoe@aol.com »

      Charming.

      Tuesday, January 15, 2008 at 5:06 am #

   5. Jessie wrote:

      I just happened to come across this essay because I was looking for an animal to write about for English class. I clicked on the logo because I am absolutely terrified of whales. I think your writing is very good, and I do agree that one should not focus on one single cause, forgetting about one’s loved ones. However, there are a large host of people who manage to care very deeply about vital causes such as hunger or poverty, and still put much devotion into family and personal life. I think I am going to traverse your writings, Chris.

      Thursday, January 31, 2008 at 10:38 pm #

   6. taylor wrote:

      u r sick and u should not be so cruel u selfish thing!

      Tuesday, February 5, 2008 at 10:17 am #

   7. John wrote:

      Good job! A+

      Friday, February 8, 2008 at 6:19 pm #

   8. noneyabuisness wrote:

      YOUR STUPID. YOU MUST BE AN ANIMAL HATER YOU FACKOO. how can you not feel bad for them? your such a…gosh

      P.S. (save the polar bears) wolfs are awesome!

      Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 3:00 am #

   9. logan wrote:

      save the d*** whales this guy dosen’t now what he is talking about the dumb A** what the H**l is your prob. beach a whale on him.

      Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 6:57 pm #

   10. logan wrote:

       jhon shut the heck up you dumb A** gosh!

       Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 6:58 pm #

   11. logan wrote:

       jessie you shut up to what is your guyzes problem save whales

       Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 7:00 pm #

   12. Jennifer wrote:

       WAT DA HELL IS UR FUKIN PROBLEM U DUMASS UR SICK AND STUPID!!! HOW DO U NOT FEEL BAD FOR THEM, U DON’T HAVE A FUKIN HEART AND AND UR SELFISH SO GO TO HELL!!! IT’S FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT WHALES ARE IN DANGER
       GO SUCK A DICK!!!!!

       Sunday, February 24, 2008 at 10:53 pm #

   13. Saul wrote:

       Jennifer – you really made me laugh. You are so eloquent in your deep discussion of a relevant topic. What have you done for the whales today?

       Monday, February 25, 2008 at 8:48 am #

   14. Chelsea wrote:

       I think you are the biggest low life i have ever heard of the Whales and the rainforests deserve to be saved. how dare you write that appalling colunm it’s disgusting!!!!!!! I’m 13 and i think thats saying something

       Monday, March 3, 2008 at 8:12 am #

   15. Chris wrote:

       Chelsea »

       Cheslea, did you read the article?

       Monday, March 3, 2008 at 10:00 am #

   16. Emiily Scott wrote:

       Hey you need to seriously sort ya self out! Why the hell don’t you care about anything but yourself! I hope you sometime need a transplant and dont get one and then ypu need someone but nooo we shouldn’t SAVE YOU!

       Wednesday, March 5, 2008 at 3:00 pm #

   17. Nancy wrote:

       YOUUUUUUUUUU ARE GAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

       Wednesday, March 5, 2008 at 3:01 pm #

   18. Abe wrote:

       BAHHHH HUMBUG!!!
       SAVE THE WHALES!
       NOT YOU!
       YA STUPID WITCH

       Wednesday, March 5, 2008 at 3:02 pm #

   19. Ben wrote:

       Not that i agree with him, but he has every right to express his opinion on the subject, he does have some good points, but…

       Thursday, March 6, 2008 at 12:51 am #

   20. Sydney wrote:

       KILL THE CHRIS!! KILL THE CHRIS!! cMON EVERYBODY, DONT SAVE THE CHRIS ABRAHAMS!!! considering he doesnt care about anything but himself. hes gonna ruin the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

       Saturday, March 8, 2008 at 1:42 pm #

   21. Sydney wrote:

       SCREW U TOO BEN!!

       Saturday, March 8, 2008 at 1:42 pm #

   22. Chris wrote:

       Sydney, you mean “Kill the Humans,” right? I never named any particular whale, such as Shamu or Willy, right?

       Saturday, March 8, 2008 at 6:19 pm #

   23. Chris wrote:

       Oh, and I should also add, “Don’t Save the Humans,” either.

       Saturday, March 8, 2008 at 6:19 pm #

   24. Cecily wrote:

       I AGREE WITH JENIFER!!! WHOO-HOO! I SAY EVERTHING SHE SAYS!!!

       Saturday, March 8, 2008 at 9:00 pm #

   25. sydney wrote:

       u r a total psycho!!! If u dont want to help save the wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous planet god gave u to live on, u have mental issues!! U shouldbe locked up somewhere in SOLITARY DETENTION!!!!! SAVE THE WHALES!!!!!!!! and dont listen to this stupid idiot fag chris abraham, who says “kill the children!!” u were a kid once, how would u feel if u were a kid browsing the web, and came cross a site saying ‘kill the children’?? Whats wrong with you?? ur momma musta dropped u on ur head or something when u were a kid. peace!!

       Saturday, March 8, 2008 at 9:22 pm #

   26. korney wrote:

       ur a fag it is porple like u that kill the world off!! if someone to have there world stay around for awhile then that is there buisness dont tell them how to live there life so go kill ur self

       Sunday, March 9, 2008 at 12:01 am #

   27. Tookie wrote:

       i think that u should have a heart for creatures lives and u should balance it out with ur family. whales and other animals have lives just like us and have families too but r being hunted and seperated from them. u can do simple things at home too u know. by the way, why did u bring this subject up anyway sam? is it something related to u?

       Sunday, March 9, 2008 at 8:40 am #

   28. Tookie wrote:

       hey jerks! leave him alone! mhe can freely express himself. i dont agree with but dont put him down for his personal opion!

       Sunday, March 9, 2008 at 8:55 am #

   29. Bobby wrote:

       Tookie, we are not jerks, WE are just freely expressing ourselves, and i think that when Chris was a baby his momma dropped him on his head, fed him stupid juice, and then sucked his brain out with a vaccum. TO CHRIS: YOU ARE A STUPID RETARDED A** H***!!! I hope one day, you need serious help, but the people say “No we are using that to save the whales.” Than ‘technically’ we are not sayng “KILL THE CHRIS” But we are still killing you. Go to hell. I agree with anyone who says chris is a dick.

       Sunday, March 9, 2008 at 3:59 pm #

   30. Thomas wrote:

       I agree with Bobby, if he means a DIRTY dick.

       Sunday, March 9, 2008 at 5:23 pm #

   31. Andrew wrote:

       You are a FART, SHIT

       Monday, March 10, 2008 at 8:21 am #

   32. and wrote:

       You DA BIAN

       Monday, March 10, 2008 at 8:22 am #

   33. Chris wrote:

       I call all you crazy 14-year-olds the Whale-Qaeda!

       Monday, March 10, 2008 at 12:10 pm #

   34. Melissa wrote:

       okay i think there needs to be a balance. You should be able to spend the majority of your time in your life, but also take the time to help others, including the whales. Yes, the theme of saving yourself first and the world will follow suit, is a popular one, and if you think about it, it makes sense. You can do your best and until you can be your best, and that includes home life.

       so i agree with you Chris (guys don’t freak out on me), but maybe you could have said this in a less offending and extreme way.

       Save the whales, but save yourself and the people in your life too, is what i think you’re trying to say.

       okay i’m done ahha

       Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 8:36 pm #

   35. Sydney’s BFF wrote:

       Whatever Chris you’re a jerk. There’s a difference between expressing your opinion gently and then there’s just insanity. You’re nowhere in between, you’re a psycho person. In your quest to kill off the children and whales and all things beautiful just because you’re not, you have proved to everyone who visits this psycho site that you actually do care by attracting more attention to the cause. Thanks Chris, for helping save the whales, but you still belong in a strait jacket somewhere until you see a poor whale being harpooned and you’ll see what it’s really like. Until then, read all these messages people leave you and PLEASE, PLEASE reconsider you opinion. Suppose someone was looking for a house in your neighborhood and shot and killed you because they wanted your house to be yours. Well that’s what it’s like to be harpooned by some jerk-off fishermen
       SERIOUSLY DUDE TAKE SOME DEEP THINKING TIME FOR YOURSELF AND RECONSIDER. SAVE THE WHALES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

       Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 11:55 pm #

   36. Sydney’s BFF wrote:

       Oh and in my previous message I meant to say they wanted your house to be theirs.

       Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 11:56 pm #

   37. Lasse wrote:

       wow, thats what i call a discussion! @ all you radical americans talking about saving the world while driving huge ass cars to the next steak house drive-in; whales are just animals and they deserve to live and than to be eaten like any pig and cow you guys have for breakfast. enjoy everybody

       Friday, March 14, 2008 at 4:49 pm #

   38. elly wrote:

       ur an ass.fuck u

       Sunday, March 16, 2008 at 9:14 pm #

   39. Chris wrote:

       What does “ur” mean and what is “u?” Fuck University? What are you trying to say to me, Elly?

       Monday, March 17, 2008 at 12:04 am #

   40. fsdasjkfsdfjk@hotmai wrote:

       thats rite dont save those bastards

       Monday, March 17, 2008 at 2:51 am #

   41. Sydney wrote:

       “ur” is an abbreviation of youre and “u” is an abbreviation of you. idiot.

       Friday, March 21, 2008 at 5:04 pm #

   42. Chris wrote:

       Duh.

       Friday, March 21, 2008 at 7:16 pm #

   43. What the hell wrote:

       u sicko how could you be so fucking fucked up in the head. whales deserve a right to live, unlike you. fuck you

       Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 10:33 am #

   44. Chris wrote:

       You did not read the article, did you? Can you read? I am beginning to think that we need to save the children, save the teens, and work on sub-literacy and illiteracy in the US, Australia, and other English-speaking nations that suffer under the weight of such ignorant activists.

       Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 12:31 pm #

   45. Syzmatomtia wrote:

       98% of all species on earth have fallen to extinction, without the help of man. The other 2% will eventually face extinction as well. It is indeed a natural progression of any ecosystem for old species to pass away and new species to be born.

       Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 4:17 pm #

   46. Ashley wrote:

       U R A ass hole 4 not saving the whales u should be more caring. U need to get a life and a personality.&&&&&&U should go and fuck yourself…………….
       ……………………
       THANK 4 NOT CARING ABOUT ANYTHING BUT YOURSELF (((((NOT))))

       Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 2:48 am #

   47. J. Miller wrote:

       Request permission to use the image ‘don’t save the whales’ for a university newsletter cover with theme ‘taboo’. Please.

       Wednesday, March 26, 2008 at 4:34 am #

   48. Chris wrote:

       Yes, please use it as often and as freely as you like!

       Wednesday, March 26, 2008 at 10:46 am #

   49. Lila wrote:

       People’s pathedic lives are not half as important as that of the whales, rainforests, and etc. Go fuck yourself and save the fucking whales you cock sucker

       Friday, March 28, 2008 at 12:04 am #

   50. Monica wrote:

       Is this a social experiment?

       Friday, March 28, 2008 at 12:16 am #

   51. sarah wrote:

       Dude, love the whales and stop being a hater. How would you feel if people took you out of your home and killed you?! It wouldn’t feel good would it?

       Friday, March 28, 2008 at 5:10 pm #

   52. Chris wrote:

       sarah »

       That was a very persuasive argument.

       Friday, March 28, 2008 at 5:50 pm #

   53. Ashely wrote:

       WHAT THE SAM HELL R U THINKING DUMBO IF U WANNA THREAT THOSE ENDANGERED CREATURES U’LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME AND THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT WROTE ABOUT UR STUPID PARAGRAPH AND JUST SO U KNOW WHALES R MY FAVORITE ANIMALS SO INSTEAD OF NOT SAVING THE WHALES LET’S KICK U OFF OF EARTH AND NOT SAVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!U SHOULD DO A WEBSITE CALLED http://WWW.CHECK OUT HOW STUPID I AM.COM U SHOULD REALLY DO THAT U WILL NEVER WIN

       Wednesday, April 2, 2008 at 12:08 am #

   54. Chris wrote:

       Did you read the article? Do you know how to spell? Can you take your finger off the shift key, please?

       Wednesday, April 2, 2008 at 8:58 am #

   55. Smilee wrote:

       rele have u got nuffin better to do wiv ur life than write horrible stuff about whales. if u hate whales so much y not keep it 2 urself?? anyways i love whales and i dont kno how any1 can want them 2 b killed … so plz stop writin horrible stuff!!!

       Monday, April 7, 2008 at 5:25 pm #

   56. alley wrote:

       You are a sick person. Don’t save whales? How cruel. You should think twice.

       Sunday, April 13, 2008 at 2:15 am #

   57. Aman wrote:

       Chris Abraham kill that bicth.

       Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 3:24 pm #

   58. Aman wrote:

       Theres a bicth named Chris Abraham
       He should die

       Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 3:25 pm #

   59. Aman wrote:

       Chris Abraham does not have the right to live.

       Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 3:28 pm #

   60. Chris wrote:

       Whale-Qaeda!

       Wednesday, April 16, 2008 at 4:32 pm #

   61. nunyabusiness wrote:

       Chris, I understand the ability to express your feelings, but maybe you should do it in a better way. I AM A CHILD, AND WHAT YOU JUST SAID SICKENS ME!!! I also feel the need to say that whales are my favorite animals, and this is so out of line and wrong. They are part of our ecosystem and you should be ashamed of yourself. What people are doing is taking mothers away from their babies, or taking away a wife or husband. Do you have a wife? A kid? A mom? How would you feel if someone shot one of them? Not to good, huh? I think that you should really reconsider and think about how whales are one of the smartest mamals and have feelings and families too before you write such things.

       Sunday, April 20, 2008 at 3:49 pm #

   62. nunyabusiness wrote:

       oh, by the way, I’m not the same “NONEYABUSINESS” as one of the earlier ones, I didn’t see that one. By the way, I also agree with sarah.

       Sunday, April 20, 2008 at 3:52 pm #

   63. Chris wrote:

       What you you mean by child? 8? That is the age of a child.

       Sunday, April 20, 2008 at 10:30 pm #

   64. nunyabusiness wrote:

       actually, I’m seven. so think of how smart i am— unlike you. i was looking for whales because i like them, and i found this.

       Tuesday, April 22, 2008 at 11:46 pm #

   65. nunyabusiness wrote:

       oh, and you also, you must have no come back because all you said was the child thing.

       Tuesday, April 22, 2008 at 11:47 pm #

   66. chris abraham wrote:

       It was not a come back. 7 is very young and you are brilliant. No, I would not want my family to be shot. And, if you’ll read the article I wrote, I never said one thing about hurting whales. I sort of said, “don’t let your family get shot before you save the whales.” My blog is too sophisticated for someone your age. I am pretty sure my site is blocked by the net nanny software your parents should be using.

       Wednesday, April 23, 2008 at 9:11 am #

   67. bree wrote:

       wow ur fucked up whales are the best and its because of ass holes like you that our animals are becoming endangered and extinct

       Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 12:11 am #

   68. Dannii wrote:

       You are so mean, and i hope u rot in hell bcoz u r so mean n u dont vcare about anyone but yourself bcoz ur so selfish!!!!

       Sunday, April 27, 2008 at 11:04 am #

   69. Kaitlyn and McKenna wrote:

       CRAP YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

       Monday, April 28, 2008 at 8:02 pm #

   70. Chris wrote:

       Crap me?

       Monday, April 28, 2008 at 9:26 pm #

   71. shmo wrote:

       YES U!!!! WHAT DO U THINK!! U ARE SOOOOOO RETARDEDLY STUPID!! I WISH I COULD MEET U IN PERSON WIT SOME OF THE PEOPLE THAT HATE YOU SO WE COULD SERIOUSLY DAMAGE UR FACE!!!!!

       Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 10:23 pm #

   72. SHMO wrote:

       good job nonyebussiness, i spelled that wrong. its good that young people are taking an intrest in saving our world!! keep it up!

       Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 10:25 pm #

   73. shmo wrote:

       hey anyone who hates chris lets almost kill him to see howq he likes it them feed him to the whales!!!! that will show him!!!

       Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 10:30 pm #

   74. Chris wrote:

       Yes. That would be fantastic, you Whale-Qaeda!

       Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 11:52 pm #

   75. Chris wrote:

       Shmo, you amuse me.

       Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 11:54 pm #

   76. shmo wrote:

       glad i do cause i will be writing stuff quite often. FYI!!!

       P.S. what does Whale-Qaeda mean?

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 12:04 am #

   77. shmo wrote:

       ugh.. u piss me off soooo much!!!! u arogant, retarded, stupid fool!!!!

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 12:05 am #

   78. Chris wrote:

       

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 12:35 am #

   79. wafflez wrote:

       i cant believe that u would make a website based on not saving the whales…u wanna kill whales? u might as well just fuckin kill me! better yet, kill urself! the world doesnt need bastards like u here to ruin it! ppl wanna help keep the world a better place and help the enviornment!

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 12:44 am #

   80. SHMO!!!! wrote:

       WOO HOO!!!! I LOVE U WAFFELZ! ( THATS ONLY CAUSE I KNOW U!) WE SAID! WE DONT NEED TO CHRIS, GO DIE IN A HOLE. AND I AM VERY LITERATE THANK U VERY MUCH!

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 1:33 am #

   81. SHMO wrote:

       ooops! spelling errors. it says well said.
       and we dont need u chris

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 2:05 am #

   82. Cola wrote:

       you are one fucked up person. people like you should be extinct. i’d much rather have whales, rhinos, manatees, pandas, koalas, tigers, dolphins, elephants, ect. than assholes like you!

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 2:58 am #

   83. LOEN! wrote:

       seriously.. where does all this hate cum from? answer that!! ugh u r so fukin retarded! GO TO REHAB!!!!!

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 3:02 am #

   84. I LOVE WHALES!!! wrote:

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 3:15 am #

   85. I LOVE WHALES!!! wrote:

       [IMG]http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii46/xoxlucylou11xox/my%20sayings/whales-1.gif[/IMG]

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 3:18 am #

   86. I LOVE WHALES!!! wrote:

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 3:18 am #

   87. SHMO!!! wrote:

       GO TO THIS AND READ IT!!!! IT TOTALLY APPLIES!!!

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 3:19 am #

   88. I LOVE WHALES!!! wrote:

       GO TO HELL!!!

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 3:22 am #

   89. I LOVE WHALES!!! wrote:

       CLICK ON MY NAME AND READ IT U BASTARD!

       Friday, May 2, 2008 at 3:22 am #

   90. I LOVE WHALES!!! wrote:

       Click on this! how does that make you feel? what if you were a whale? do u want me to HARPOON u?! huh?!

       http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.all-creatures.org/anex/whales-sl-06_small.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.all-creatures.org/anex/whales.html&h=273&w=200&sz=9&hl=en&start=46&tbnid=Ea4oBdMsazeAsM:&tbnh=113&tbnw=83&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dkilling%2Bof%2Bwhales%26start%3D40%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

       Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 1:50 am #

   91. Queso wrote:

       you are a fucking dick hole and you need to go die in hell!!!!!!!! how would you feel if i came to your house and used all your fat for oil ( the world would never run out) so wat we cant save our own problems ( im 14 i dont have a family so if i want to save the world nothing is stopping me) go to HELL FAG

       Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 2:01 am #

   92. SHMO!! wrote:

       WOO HOO!!!! U SAID IT QUESO! ugh!! chris u r such an asshole!! i f dont care about this planet, then y dont u die!!! cause noone would miss u and its people like u killing the world, while my frends and i are trying to save it!!

       Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 3:19 am #

   93. kerryraine@yahoo.com wrote:

       you are pathetic, and i was not going to respond at all, you are one person, on this planet, you are just a protazoa, a germ, and most of all insignifficant , do you honestly thibk that what you say means anything to anyone.

       Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 10:10 am #

   94. Chris wrote:

       No, Kerry, I don’t.

       Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 5:23 pm #

   95. Chris wrote:

       You guys make me crazy but I just laugh. Please, read the article.

       Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 5:57 pm #

   96. Phillip J Rhoades wrote:

       I LOVE WHALES!!!, those photos make me hungry. I only eat dolphin aggressive tuna.

       Queso and SHMO!!, the world doesn’t need your saving. Get over your sense of human importance. Get over the idea that extinction isn’t natural. It is natural. We are natural superpredators and it is our purpose to cause extinction. 98% of every life form that has ever been on this planet has become extinct, even before we arrived.

       yes Kerry, we are all unimportant, so is the whale in the ocean, and the sea turtle, and the great bald eagle. They are just species waiting for the natural end, and that end is extinction. It will come with or without us.

       Death is normal. Creatures attacking and eating other creatures is natural. This is life. This is nature. And as part of nature this is also what we do.

       Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 9:09 pm #

   97. Queso wrote:

       we make a choice to kill or not so if i want to save the world I WILL AND I CAN so you can go fuck chris abraham! you are perfect for each other! how can whales and dolphins taste good? they are blubber…you are a disgusting pig!

       Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 10:08 pm #

   98. I LOVE WHALES!!! wrote:

       are you kidding me?! THOSE PICTURES MADE ME GO FUCKING VEGETARIAN YOU FAT CANIBLE! YOU MIGHT AS WELL GO EAT YOUR DOG OR YOUR MOM! AFTER SEEING THAT MEAT IS DISGUSTING AND I REGRET EVER EATING IT! OMFG YOU MOTHER FUCKER DICK SUCKERS ARE SO GROSS!

       Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 10:12 pm #

   99. SHMO!!! wrote:

       WHAT THE HELL IS UR FUCKIN PROBLEM PHILIP!!! YES EXTINCTION IS NATURAL, BUT THE REASON THAT THE WHALES ARE GOING EXCTINCT, IS BECAUSE OF FUCKIN DICK SUCKERS LIKE YOU THAT EAT THEM!! THAT IS WHAT WE ARE TRYING TO PREVENT! WITHOUT ASS HOLES LIKE YOU!, THERE WOULD BE NO PROBLEM!! YEA… U AND CHRIS SHOULD GO OUT, ITS PERFECT. UGH!!! U PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKIN SCREWED UP!! GO DIE IN A HOLE U ASS HOLES!!

       Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 1:05 am #

   100. Chris wrote:

        Mark, is that you? Mark, are you SHMO? You’re SHMO, right? Come on, you can tell me. It’s so good! You almost had be fooled. Good one!

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 2:46 am #

   101. Shmo! wrote:

        WHAT THE HELL U RETARD?!?!? MY NAME IS NOT MARK! I SWEAR TO THE WHALES THAT WE ARE TRYING TO SAVE!
        I’M NOT MARK

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 2:59 am #

   102. Phillip J Rhoades wrote:

        We are natural too. It doesn’t matter if we’re the cause for extinction or not, because all species meet extinction at some point or another. It is normal and natural for species to become extinct.

        Also, I (like two thirds of the world) have no problem eating dog meat. A dog is just another beast and just more food for me.

        The world doesn’t need saving, because the world will continue without you, without whales, without any of what is now. All that is now will fade away. All that is now will move on into non-existence. It is normal. It is natural for what is to pass away, to give way to what comes after.

        Let me say this one more time:

        Extinction is natural.

        We are natural.

        We are a natural cause of natural extinction.

        It is okay for things to die and species to end.

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 7:50 am #

   103. Phillip J Rhoades wrote:

        It is only the human ego that makes us believe we are the caretakers or destroyers of the world. We are not so important.

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 8:03 am #

   104. Queso wrote:

        God made us to be the caretakes of the world he did not want us to be the destroyers of this wonderful world we have made into a a living HELL for every thing that we think is not as smart as us so yes it is up to us to save animals from dum fucking dicks like you all.Phillip, if your so hungry why i dont come HARPOON you and your family so then you all and have a nice big dinner! how would that make you feel! oh you would be ded so i guess that would not matter!!!!! and i would feel just fine!!!

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 2:23 pm #

   105. shmo! wrote:

        Phillip, it is niot our ego that wants to save the world, we simply want to preserve it! becuase of retards like u and chris, the world and many of it animals are going to die, NOT IN A NATURAL WAY!!! THEY ARE DIYING BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LKE YOU THAT WANT TO EAT THE WHALES! WITHOUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN THIS WORLD… THERE WOULD BE NO PROBLEM!! get it? or is that to confuzing for your stupid little head? u r such a fuckin pig!! u need help if u want to eat ur dog. yea y dont we just cum harpoon u and chris and them feed u to the whales?? HUH??? how does that sound?
        and dont talk to us like we are five! we are very intellegent teenagers THAT ARE TRYING TO PRESERVE OUR WORLD UNLIKE DICK SUCKER LIKE U!!!

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 4:22 pm #

   106. penny wrote:

        so u Kill the Manatees, Kill the Children, Kill the Tigers, Kill the Dolphins, Kill the Bay, Kill the World, Kill the Koala, Kill the Pandas, Kill the Rhinos, Kill the Elephant or Kill the Whales. Y???? if u kill them, then u will die too! ever thought of that smart ass? yea cause even if we loose plankton, our whole ecosystem will be screwed up!! so if u kill all those animals then u will die and go to hell! God would not want u to be in his kingdom later for u to screw that up to.

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 5:08 pm #

   107. penny wrote:

        so u Kill the Manatees, Kill the Children, Kill the Tigers, Kill the Dolphins, Kill the Bay, Kill the World, Kill the Koala, Kill the Pandas, Kill the Rhinos, Kill the Elephant and Kill the Whales. Y???? if u kill them, then u will die too! ever thought of that smart ass? yea cause even if we loose plankton, our whole ecosystem will be screwed up!! so if u kill all those animals then u will die and go to hell! God would not want u to be in his kingdom later for u to screw that up to.

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 5:09 pm #

   108. Phillip J Rhoades wrote:

        It does not matter if humanity becomes extinct. We are also a natural creature and that is an end we must face. So, no I don’t care if the current world passes away. There is no problem. People cause extinction, like any dominant animal in an ecosystem it will cause a hardship on the other creatures. This is normal and natural. We are natural creatures and eating and killing other creatures is natural behavior for human beings. Stasis is not natural. The world changes. Life forms and species pass away and new species are born from what is left behind. The survival of any species currently on this planet (including the human species) is not of paramount importance. The ecosystem will recover. It will change into something new, with life forms that have never existed before. Species die out and it is normal and natural. When they die out from us (a natural creature just like any other creature) it is also normal and natural. When we meet our own extinction it will be normal and natural. Life on this planet does not need us and will continue despite what we do to the current set of plants and animals on this planet. The worst we can do is end what is, but that does not end the future of life on this planet. Life has survived ice ages, meteors, volcanic ash laden skies, and more. This world will survive us. the individual species that exist now do not matter. Their fate, our fate, it is of no consequence. The world will simply change and grow, old will pass away and new will thrive. Weak will become extinct and strong will evolve. What you lack is a full vision of the world, of life, of the universe.

        Humanity is a natural creature.

        Extinction is natural.

        Extinction caused by a natural creature (such as humanity) is natural, normal, and okay.

        The extinction of the human species (or any species) is of no great importance in the world.

        The continuation of the human species (or any species) is of no great importance either.

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 7:25 pm #

   109. shmo wrote:

        SHUT THE HELL UP!! O my god.. yes it is natural, but the way that the whales and other animals are dyeing is NOT! so shut up! idc if its natural, th whales and other marine animals cannot go extinct if we want our ecosystem to survive without major issues. stop acting like a smart ass!

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 7:59 pm #

   110. Phillip J Rhoades wrote:

        The current ecosystem will simply be replaced by a new one. The whales may not be a part of it, we may not be a part of it. That does not matter. Change is normal. Extinction is part of that natural change. We are part of the natural order. That which we do is natural.

        The way the whales are dying is in fact natural. It is caused by the natural creature that is humanity.

        Species dying out is normal, natural, and okay. It is the way things have always been. It was this way before the human creature arrived, and will be this way long after we depart.

        The mistake in your thinking, is the idea that humanity is somehow not a natural creature. The idea that humanity is somehow outside of nature. That is simply untrue. WE are a natural product of the ecosystem. We are a natural result of what came before. What we do is part of nature.

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 8:19 pm #

   111. shmo! wrote:

        there is no dounght in my mind that we are natural, but they way that the whales are dying IS NOT NATURAL!without us, they would be fine! how do u not c this? yes things die and new things replace them, but in this case when a certain species hat is sellfish becuase they want to eat an endangered aimals, this is not natural. WHY ARE U THE ONLY ONE THAT DOES NOT SEE THIS?

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 9:07 pm #

   112. shmo wrote:

        How old r u any way? cause u act like u r some old smart fart! but ur not!

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 9:08 pm #

   113. Phillip J Rhoades wrote:

        Without us they would simply die off from some other reason or creature. Species eat and decimate other species. It is in fact natural for one species to obliterate other species. Why are there so few who realize this? The reason would be the mass media propagation of the idea that ecological stasis is the norm. In fact, ecological stasis is neither normal or natural.

        Ecological change, disaster, and rebirth are normal.

        Sunday, May 4, 2008 at 9:15 pm #

   114. shmo wrote:

        so u get it? that without the humans they would not by extinct right now? o finally ur stupid liitle brain takes in some sense. that i what i have been trying to say, that yes the whales would have died without us, but the fact of the matter is that they are dying right now! yes all creatures eat eachother, but the human race is way to universal and we eat creatures that we dont need to eat, and that are supposed to live longer. GET IT YET??? if not i will be back later!!

        Monday, May 5, 2008 at 2:08 am #

   115. Phillip J Rhoades wrote:

        The point being, it does not matter if humans are the cause or a meteor or some other creature. Extinction is normal and natural. Human beings are a natural creature leading to the natural extinction of other creatures. We are not outside of the ecosystem. We are part of the ecosystem. Nothing that we do is unnatural. Everything that we do is a natural extension of the ecological system. If we’re causing an extinction or many extinctions that is only a normal and natural progression of life and evolution. We are not above nature, and what we do is a part of the natural cycle.

        It is completely and totally okay in the grand and massive scheme of life on this planet for creatures to become extinct. yes, it’s even okay for a natural creature, like humans, to cause the extinction of other creatures. It is the norm. It is the way it has always been. It doesn’t matter if it’s us or something else. Everything meets extinction eventually.

        Monday, May 5, 2008 at 4:14 am #

   116. somebody wrote:

        This is awfull. of course we must save the whales!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Monday, May 5, 2008 at 6:32 am #

   117. no name wrote:

        SAVE THE WHALES!!! I am with shmo we HAVE 2 HELP THEM I MEAN WITHOUT THE HUMANS WHALES WOULD BE FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Monday, May 5, 2008 at 6:35 am #

   118. Will Litchfield wrote:

        Don’t save the whales?

        What the hell is wrong with you, jesus christ. If whales are the devils servants then you are the devil!

        Monday, May 5, 2008 at 3:38 pm #

   119. Chris wrote:

        Will Litchfield » What does that even mean? And, please don’t call me Jesus Christ.

        Monday, May 5, 2008 at 7:44 pm #

   120. Chris wrote:

        somebody » How are you saving the whales today?

        Monday, May 5, 2008 at 7:44 pm #

   121. shmo! wrote:

        thank you no name! as to you phillip… i dont inderstand why you need to wirte such long blogs, its really qite annoying! we need to save the whales becuase someone said before even if we loose plankton, you know those tiny miniscule things in our ocean, we willl be in big trouble. so imagine what would happen if we lost the whales or the manatees, or penguins, polor bears, etc. get my onsomble?

        Chris will litchfield is just a name it doesnt mean anything, dont be a wise ass. and i bet “somebody” is figuring out what to do, you cant expect everyone to just start something right away!

        Monday, May 5, 2008 at 9:43 pm #

   122. 36987 wrote:

        wow! that was insightful!

        Monday, May 5, 2008 at 10:32 pm #

   123. shmo wrote:

        ok i think that was a waste of time and space if i do say so myself

        Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 2:21 am #

   124. Chris wrote:

        shmo! » That logic doesn’t work, Shmo. The lower the order the more important the species is: plankton and coral are essential ingredients of undersea life while whales and manatees; penguins and polar bears, higher up in the chain, are really less essential. Losing bees is a big deal, losing man isn’t. Losing algae is a big deal, losing the blue whale isn’t. That said, as we have been discussing via email, I am not a proponent of whale-killing and am in fact more of a green freak now that I have ever been. I moved to Europe, gave up a car, ride by bike, go to the green grocers and buy veggies without plastic bags and carry them home in a reusable cotton bag. When I need to go far, I choose the train, when I need to go close, I take the subway or mount my bike. My footprint is low and I am active in my community.

        What have you done for he whales or for the environment lately — besides attacking me?

        Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 6:46 am #

   125. Chris wrote:

        shmo » Well, I am some old smart fart! I am 38! 38 is old!

        Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 6:48 am #

   126. shmo wrote:

        geeezz!! what the heck! someones angry today?! thats good and i am gld that u are doing that. it doesnt madder where on the food chain the whales are. they obviously had a purpose on this earth, or they would not be here. why is that so hard for people to understand?? it doesnt madder where they are they are here and important, maybe not as important as other species, but they are still. After reading ur “posts” my friends were very alarmedd, and so we have been making flyers, that we are actually going to give out at school today! what do u think about that? huh? public awarness? we arent adults, so we cannot do as much, but we ARE DOING ALL THAT WE CAN WITH WHAT WE ARE GIVEN!!!!
        O and by the way, about my last six blogs were not directed to you, they were to Phillip! but thank you for telling me ur age, becuase i was wondering about that!

        Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 12:47 pm #

   127. Chris wrote:

        shmo » I appreciate you for engaging with me and for opening yourself up to this conversation and for calling me out on being controversial — really, the title of my article has very little to do with the whales or the rain forests, it has to do with family, but I knew that “Don’t Save the Whales” and the graphic would get a lot of attention. How old are you?

        Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 1:53 pm #

   128. shmo wrote:

        it doesnt madder what the objective is, you diplayed this on the iternet,and now you have to live with the consequences.
        I don not need to reveal my age, that is of no importance.

        Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 5:53 pm #

   129. Chris wrote:

        shmo » Well, je ne regret rien.

        Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 10:33 pm #

   130. shmo wrote:

        what the heck does that mean?

        Tuesday, May 6, 2008 at 10:40 pm #

   131. Chris wrote:

        shmo » “je ne regret rien” means, “I regret nothing.” In French.

        Wednesday, May 7, 2008 at 2:31 pm #

   132. shmo wrote:

        and how do u think that i would know that?

        well ok then, becuase u better be prepared for people to continue hating you for what you have said and posted, especially if the whale situation becomes worse.

        Wednesday, May 7, 2008 at 10:04 pm #

   133. Chris wrote:

        shmo » Well, I do expect illiterate and ignorant people to continue to write poorly-written sub-literate comments full of swearing and very little thought, that’s for sure. It has been happening for well over 3 years.

        Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 8:16 am #

   134. shmo wrote:

        i think that the people that write on here are very literate, intellegent, and that swearing is common, becuase of the posts that u have posted. just shut up… u write on here too!

        Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 1:00 pm #

   135. shmo wrote:

        and there is a lot of thought that goes into writing, i should think that u know that… but maybe not!

        Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 1:00 pm #

   136. Chris wrote:

        shmo » There is no literacy or intelligence. The English and grammar is appalling — including your grammar and spelling. You should be ashamed. I hope you get into college.

        Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 3:06 pm #

   137. shmo wrote:

        what the heck! this is only cause it doesnt madder! if i was turning in a paper for a grade then it would be good. when people are on here we dont care if the spelling is wrong!
        I’m not ashamed! idc.
        and i will get into college. there is still thought that goes into it, whether u believe it or not!

        Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 11:39 pm #

   138. kevin wrote:

        BLOW ME!!!!!!………. A BUBLE!!! I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING THAT SHMO HAS SAID! THERE IS THOUGHT THAT GOES INTO THESE (WELL NOT REALY MINE) BUT WIT EVERYONE ELSES! AND YES I AM NOT USING GOOD LANGUAGE, BECUASE I DONT CARE WHAT U THINK! U NEED TO RECONSIDER UR IDEAS AND HOW U DISPLAY THEM!

        Friday, May 9, 2008 at 3:21 am #

   139. shmo wrote:

        well thank u for ur agreeing, but ur words did not really prove my point. but thats ok! thanks! i think so too!

        Friday, May 9, 2008 at 3:22 am #

   140. Chris wrote:

        shmo » You undermine all of your arguments because you communicate sub-literally… it really does madder (sic) — all the time. There is never a time when it doesn’t madder (sic). The entire world will dismiss comments like these — dismissing you as poorly-versed and poorly-informed. Ignorant, really, although I know you aren’t, Shmo.

        Friday, May 9, 2008 at 7:04 am #

   141. shmo wrote:

        shut up!! therea re times where u can use akranims and poor spelling ( like i just did) cause it

        Friday, May 9, 2008 at 9:43 pm #

   142. shmo wrote:

        noone cares!i am not poorly literate! infact i love to write and english is one of my best subjects. i will admit that i am a bad speller, but thats ok, cause WHEN I CARE ABOUT IT… i will fix it and re-read my work, but on here, iam not going to waste my time! get it?

        Friday, May 9, 2008 at 9:46 pm #

   143. shmo wrote:

        no one cares!i am not poorly literate! infact i love to write and english is one of my best subjects. i will admit that i am a bad speller, but thats ok, cause WHEN I CARE ABOUT IT… i will fix it and re-read my work, but on here, iam not going to waste my time! get it?

        Friday, May 9, 2008 at 9:46 pm #

   144. lizzy wrote:

        well, i would first like to say that i have borwsed this web all over and have read every blog, so that chris could not call my uninfromed.
        Now, why would you evoke such an image on the web if ur point was totally different? i guess for attention- public awarness- but dont complain now.
        My family is complete. i have two wonderful children, i live in australia where i am a marine biologist, and my husband studies mamal existence. so why should we not save the world? even if my family was messed up, i would still save the world, becuase i care. all the “stupid wahle queadas” as u say are doing the same thing, but in smaller picture, as they cannot do as much as us adults. i do not agree that you descriminate against them, becuase they are trying to make our future bright and becuase they care. if we dont trust them… then who will? and who will fix our previous mistakes?
        as i have read these blogs, i can agree with both sides. not the family issues, but if we should get involved. as few have said, god has made us care takers of this world, but is it our job to fix it? i mean there are two sides, a) that god has everything planned out that we fix what has been odne, or b) that he has the future organized that we dont need to help. now to decide which one to go with, you need to follow what you believe, and stick with it, dont give up.
        as to the teenagers, keep up your commitment to our planet and follow you dreams, they will come true.
        Chris, i would appreciate if you would stop bashing my fututre and yours. they are literate and i see shmos point of how puncuation and speeling doesnt madder, i dont care right now either.
        Phillip~ i have to agree that you have some excelletn points! but then again i am back to my spiritual ways of believe what you believe.
        chris i must say that your arrogance is very… excentutating. it shows that you will commit to what you have started, and that is good even though you get so much grief. i do believe however that the grief you get is very apprehensive and undersatndable.
        thank you for reading my long speil, feel free to blog back to me for info and advice of how you can help.

        Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 4:02 am #

   145. shmo wrote:

        wow! lizzy i am so glad that you have said that! you are seriously living my dream, i mean australia, thats my goal! well thank you, i am glad that adults see us as a bright beacon for them in the future! and that some think we contribute a lot! thank you

        Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 4:04 am #

   146. Chris wrote:

        lizzy » How can you be an adult woman with children and a scientist husband and be able to write like this, “My family is complete. i have two wonderful children, i live in australia where i am a marine biologist, and my husband studies mamal (sic) existence. so why should we not save the world?” Mammal! Mammal! The job your husband does every day is studying Mammals, with two els. Besides, “excentutating” isn’t even a word, so I don’t even know what my arrogance is! Egad! The future is ruined if the entire island of Australia is subliterate, even the wives of marine biologists! Good lord! Please tell me that you’re a 14-year-old girl just pretending to be a mom and wife because otherwise you’ll make my cry.

        Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 7:28 am #

   147. Chris wrote:

        shmo » What is an “akranims?”

        Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 7:29 am #

   148. shmo wrote:

        see like i said, i am bad at spelling. like a.k.a. or t.t.y.l how they satnd for stuff. c’mon use some common sense and sound it out.

        Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 1:33 pm #

   149. lizzy wrote:

        i hope you do cry, i am speaking like this to prove a point. i’m not going to say what it is, or you would never have to find out. we also have differnet ways of speaking, learn that you bone head!

        Saturday, May 10, 2008 at 1:36 pm #

   150. cody wrote:

        yes, why try and save the world. After all it is the only planet in the solar system capable of supporting life!

        Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 12:51 am #

   151. shmo wrote:

        thank you! exactly! well… actually so far! but thats still so true!

        Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 1:48 am #

   152. Chris wrote:

        lizzy » There may be different ways of speaking but there is a dictionary for a reason and when speaking English, mammal is always spelled mammal and never mamal, especially when that personal supposedly has a husband who studies aquatic mammals. So, you’re just plain wrong, sub-literate, and — to be frank — either lazy or wrong.

        Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 12:59 pm #

   153. Chris wrote:

        shmo » I will use common sense next time if you spend the little bit of time trying to sort out what I am trying to say, too. Meet me half-way.

        Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 12:59 pm #

   154. shmo wrote:

        no! ok i am done trying to undertand what is wrong with you.
        to everyone that reads these, dont listen to chris abraham, do as much as you can to help our world and dont let anyone stear you away from what you believe.

        Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 7:14 pm #

   155. Chris wrote:

        shmo » Oh, egad!

        Sunday, May 11, 2008 at 10:49 pm #

   156. lizzy wrote:

        i am with shmo, there is no point in this website. afternoon chap! good bye!

        Monday, May 12, 2008 at 1:58 am #

   157. Chris wrote:

        lizzy » I appreciate it. Thanks for coming.

        Tuesday, May 13, 2008 at 2:35 pm #