I have finally gotten around to catching up on all the Atlantics that have piled up in my absence in Berlin. One very compelling article is an anonymous essay written by “Professor X,” In the Basement of the Ivory Tower.

I am still trying to sort out my thoughts on this — please excuse the disjointed nature of this post. Would you be so kind as to comment?  Maybe a conversation is just what I need to sort this out.

The premise is that many of the colleges and universities that populate the United States are are not actually members of the Ivory Tower.

And, if they are part of the Ivory Tower, they are in the basement. As a professor at one of these “basement” schools, Professor X suggests that the majority of the students who come through his English class should not be there — that America’s obsession with college educations, graduate schooling, and professional degrees as de rigeur is seriously messed up.

Why?  Because not everyone is capable of becoming collegiate.

America is a land of opportunity where everyone is equal and all it takes is hard work and focus to do whatever  and become whatever one desires. According to In the Basement of the Ivory Tower, however, this is not so.  From his vast experience teaching remedial high school-level English classes in the guise of Introduction to College Writing (English 101) and Introduction to College Literature (English 102), Professor X believes that the vast investment of time, money, debt, and academic shame associated with going to college if you’re neither prepared or intellectually capable of doing so can be ruinous to the finances, ego, pride, and self-esteem of all of the folks who fail out, still saddled with relatively enormous loans and a send of abject failure associated — all for naught!

I never believed this, myself — all of my friends are bloody brilliant — but I have started to begin to believe, especially in light of the sort of comments I have been receiving in response to my series of incendiary posts about Whales:

• Will Subliterate 17-Year-Olds Save the Whales?
• Wisdumb of Crowds: SAVE THE WHALES
• “Don’t Save the Whales” Review: “you obviously is idiot”
• u are a bitter old man all alone trying to get attion because u are lonly and missible
• May God Have Mercey [sic] on your Souls

I know. I can’t stop making fun — and that I am in fact an Awful Awful Man but I am actually starting to wonder what I can do to encourage these kids that actually saving whales requires a rigorous education and lots of training and support. Saving whales requires amazing copy writing skills and the ability to network, fundraise, and communicate.

Are these commenters “just young” or are they just “communicating casually?” I was pretty literate and intellectually curious when I was in 6-12th grade!

I was writing and researching and participating in my school’s newspaper from 7th grade (my high school spanned 7-12th grade).  So where all of my geeky, nerdy, intellectual friends, too.  I was a book worm. I preferred to spend my time in Hawaii at the library than I did the beach.

I think the problem lies in the incestuous nature of intellectualism, of the academy, of the Ivory Tower, and of the social network associated with urban centers, university towns, and professional and corporate communities.

I was at BlogPotomac the other week and everyone there said that they suffered from Social Network Burnout — but outside of the Social Network Maven world, most people may have a MySpace or Facebook profile, but that’s it — no digg, del.icio.us, reddit, Plurk, Pownce, or anything else!

The same thing happens with regards liberal Democrats in the USA — everyone in NY, DC, Atlanta, Austin, San Francisco, Connecticut, New Jersey, Los Angeles, Chicago, only know Democrats, activists, and people who voted for Gore, Kerry, and who support Choice and evolution in schools — but that’s not America proper!

I mean, of course there is great diversity of belief, politics, and passion, but extrapolating personal beliefs and political, professional, and academic expectations can result in the sort of myopia that can not just leave children behind but might just well leave most Americans behind as well.

What is the current state of vocational training in America?  Why are our public universities, colleges, and community colleges so limited in their scope?  Should these publicly-funded places offer training and services for everyone, where everyone includes opportunity for lives wearing other collars than white!

I see this all the time in technology and the Internet — people just aren’t interested in being geeky. There is no interest there, even when I get into conversations with doctors and lawyers. I always took to being a geek. I always took to being a book worm. Mind you, my parents were both bookish and in the art world, so I guess my vector was partially chosen for me.

Much of the time, it all comes down to just not being interested. Not caring at all. The “I don’t have time for this shit” theory when you’re sitting in class wondering why you’re there instead of at your desk or in the store or at you job, making money for today, tomorrow, and for your family.

Life is messy and there is no need to make it any harder.  Yes, I understand that there is a lot of incentive for these college and universities to broaden their appeal to just about everyone, but my friends like to speak of “opportunity costs” — will going to business school and spending two years in school add to your marketability and brand more than staying in your current job?  What is the opportunity cost of attending a college, spending money you don’t have, and then fail out?  What is the opportunity when you try your hardest and can’t handle the stress or have too many things going on in your life to actually spend the time and attention required to thrive in academia.

I think one of the issue here has to do with our K-12 education. There are quite a few high school graduates who need to basically redo high school — especially if they are returning to college after years away as mature students.

Back in the day, there were all sorts of public services and night schools that were virtually free — they allowed people to take remedial course, to bone up before moving on, and to learn English as a second language.  Are these sorts of services still serving Americans or have they all become privatized into the sundry schools soliciting me late at night?

Please join me in the comments — I would love to continue the conversation and sort out my thoughts along with you.  Thanks in advance.