It plans to be 97F today. Spike, my Quad chameleon, can’t hack that heat, so I brought him in, out of the day, and have his little cage set up indoors, in the AC.

I am soon to be the proud owner of a male four-horned chameleon (Chameleo quadracornis) that I ordered today along with a deluxe chameleon care package from the gang at Reptile Depot. They call it a “quad.” His name is Spike since he will develop four horns on his head.

Reptile Depot is sending the ficus et al first and then when I am all set up with my aluminum screen cage, moss, island hood, 5.0 UVB bulb, basking light, automatic spray bottle, miner-all, ceramic dome, dripper, thermometer and live ficus tree, they will send Spike along to my open arms.

When a man buys an exotic lizard it means that he really and truly is not looking for a girlfriend. I mentioned that to the guy at Reptile Depot and he said, “yeah, man, chicks don’t dig chameleons.” It could have been worse, I could have ordered a python.

Well, you know what they say, it is a slippery slope when it comes to owning reptiles. To be honest, the creepiest thing will be that I will need to keep crickets and other nasty insects in order to feed Spike.

The bugs make it creepy. Creepier.