(Alas, this is my final blog post for Rosetta Stone under my current blogging contract.  Hopefully they’ll keep me on and I will continue to amuse you with my struggles, my trials, and my tribulations with German-learning. Please visit the Language Journeys Rosetta Stone blog and check out all of my posts)

At least in Berlin, keeping a distance from your party in the Restaurant is a sign or respect.

It is considered rude in Germany for a server, der Kellner or die Kellnerin, to keep on bothering your chat, your time together, and your meal, to check up on you.

If you want something, flag down someone — German waiters are pretty good at seeing that you want something. Don’t whistle, just catch their eye or wave your hand.

German waiters generally won’t even ask how your meal is going or if you’re having a good time until they bus your plates, at which point they will ask something like “Hat es Ihnen geschmeckt?” or “Hat’s geschmeckt?” which both mean, “Did you enjoy your meal?”

So, the reason why you feel like you’re being ignored is because they think it would be appallingly rude for them to come up to your table every few minutes asking you how your meal is, if you want more wine or beer, or if you want anything else, or — heaven forbid — may I bring you the check.

So, while I can’t confirm that this is also what happens in other places around Europe and the world, I know that if you want another anything, you need to call for it; and, if you want the bill, you need to expressly ask for the bill, “Die Rechnung bitte” or “Bitte zahlen” or just make that “I am signing a check in the air” pantomime and they’ll come with your check right away.

Mark promised me that Berlin was high-culture, high-brow, and intellectual. However, check out the signage here for Sex and the City 2, dubbed into German.

What’s more, on the message boards and on Facebook, sophisticated German and expat women are, city-wide, organizing girls nights out to consume the exploits of Carrie and her friends and her over-sexed and hyper-drama lifes and “loves.” Also, note the Marmaduke sign to the left of the SatC poster.

Poor Germany and poor Europe — they’re becoming as banal & mundane as we!

To be honest, this video isn’t unique because buskers and busking is absolutely normal and common in Berlin, especially in U-Bahn and S-Bahn trains, especially at night and on weekend when people are a little drunk and a little more willing to get caught up in the moment and drop a prized 2 Euro coin into the hat.

So, the timing was perfect on this one. I was trying out my Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX3 as a video camera in HD and I was farting about with it, seeing if I could get some nice video of the U1 train at night after getting pretty well lubricated myself with my buddy Frank Merfort of Limemachine fame, coming back from dinner and drinks at the best Mexican restaurant in Berlin, run by a proper Mexican, called Maria Peligro (Skalitzer Strasse 81, 10997 Berlin), part of the year-old Maria empire of awesome Mexican restaurants, starting with Maria Bonita, in Berlin. Next, opening next Wednesday, I think, at 6-8, is Santa Maria on Oranienstrasse. On Facebook you can become fans of Maria Peligro and Maria Bonita as well. However, I really should be posting this to a separate post about these two places, which I will do soon when I get the photos uploaded. Where I will talk more about the delicious food and what hot sauce to please beware of.

My friend Elisabeth King isn’t the only person in Berlin who heats her flat exclusively with burning coal.  A real coal burning stove.  A real coal stove!

Here’s the front of the coal-fired stove that Elisabeth uses to heat her Berlin apartment.  The vent at the top,

I assume, feeds the flame and the metal boxes below are where one puts the coal.  I need to do some more research on this.

While Berliners now commonly use gas and electric heating, quite a few of the flats in the East of Berlin — the former DDR — still thrive like the old days.

Coal is delivered into the basement or schlepped from a vendor and then, every few days, Elisabeth needs to bundle up and head down to the basement where she stacks up as many pressed bricks of coal as she can carry — more if I am helping out.

She then keeps both her living room’s ornate and beautiful heating stove and the cooking stove in her kitchen lit and stoked.

It is really quite amazing, rather charming, and I am told, very annoying when she needs to get up super-early in the AM in order to light her stove so that the apartment will be warm and happy by the time she gets up for the second time.

Here’s a little, adorable, coal-powered, cooking stove.  I wonder what the rocks are for?  Are they a way of testing the heat of the stove or some way of radiating the heat into the room?  If anyone knows, please let me know.

She’s an amazing sport and the apartment is gorgeous and very affordable, so all is well.

And, she does have electrical outlets, so she does have a heating pad in her bed to help with the warmth and an electric kettle in her kitchen to make sure she has ready water for her tea.

These are pressed-coal bricks used to heat apartments and homes in Berlin and in greater germany — many still have wood and coal-fed heaters and ovens and many people prefer it that way.

I think it is very charming and doing it this ways makes one very aware of how much and how many resources we use instead of just running the gas or the electricity.

Berlin is surely the coolest city on earth. Erika La Tour Eiffel (AKA Erika Mauer) was my next-door neighbor for a while in Berlin.  She is an Objectum Sexual and here is her story! (You can watch all of the episodes here):

Don’t let the unique nature of her sexual orientation to turn you off to her.  She’s a badass and have accomplished amazing things in her 37+ years. She is coo, she is creative, and she is unique, for sure! I like her, she’s cool and doing cool things and definitely living her life her way.

Erika “Aya” Eiffel is authentic, amazing, and a world-class Olympic archer and was trained in Japan in the art of the Samurai sword and was actually conferred a world title in Soga-Ryu iai-batto-jutsu, san-dan (3rd level black belt) in Toyama-Ryu iai-batto-jutsu, and san-dan in the Zen Nihon To-Do Renmei:

From Erika “Aya” La Tour Eiffel’s Bio

I always had a fascination for weapons. Strange you say? Strange enough, that it lead me to start martial arts. I wanted to learn to use the Japanese katana. My plight eventually took me to Japan to study with the true masters of Japanese sword fighting. A few years ago my back nearly won the battle but after seven months of rehab, I returned and won a World Title and became the youngest instructor in the art of Soga-Ryu iai-batto-jutsu. I continued my love of the Japanese sword and earned the rank of san-dan (3rd level black belt) in Toyama-Ryu iai-batto-jutsu and also achieved san-dan in the Zen Nihon To-Do Renmei. I know, I know, I need start a webpage just dedicated to my other life as a swordswoman in Japan!

How cool is that?  Amazing!  Well, it doesn’t stop there… Erika “Aya” Eiffel transitioned away from swordsmanship to becoming an Olympic archer using her beloved recurve bow, Lance:

Archer Spotlight on Aya La Brie By Steve Ross

Having only started her archery career four years ago in 1999, Erika “Aya” La Brie had a tremendous year competitively in 2004. She was part of the Women’s Compound Team that took home a gold medal and new world record at the World Target Championships in New York City this past July. At the NAA Nationals, she shot both recurve and compound taking 10th and third place respectively. Aya also shoots the modern Longbow, traditional Japanese bow and is skilled in martial arts. I managed to catch Aya during an archery “holiday” due to a mountain bike accident.

USAA: I heard you recently had a serious mountain bike accident. What happened and will it impact your archery plans for the rest of the outdoor season?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: Well, I prefer to commute on my mountain bike as a form of cross training for my archery and last Wed. was no different. I was crossing a street on the walk signal and a truck came from the outside lane and turned in front of me. He sent me sailing when I tried to veer and brake. I flipped twice and crashed in a heap in the middle of the street. He paused only long enough to see if I was alive and sped off once I sat up.

I ended up with three mashed ribs, elbows, knee and ankle and large scrapes on my back. Fortunately, I always wear a helmet, which cracked. Otherwise, I have no crippling injuries. However, it did put a damper on the IBO Worlds, which I had to fly to the next morning followed by a five-hour drive. I managed to shoot but was in a lot of pain the whole weekend. Since my return, my training has been put on hold for the next few weeks to let my ribs and knee heal. I have never taken more than two weeks off from training and will have to rely on mental imagery until I can shoot again. Mental training helped me earlier this year when I was hospitalized for two weeks. All the experience gained from this year will help put together a good regimen until I’m ready to hit the range again.

USAA: I’m glad you’re ok and will only need a short break. You have had a fantastic year; shooting on the women’s compound team that shot a new world record must have been great.

Erika “Aya” La Brie: “Fantastic year” is more of an understatement to describe the year I’ve had! I started archery with recurve in 1999 and shot for one year before an injury forced me to shoot with a release if I wanted to continue shooting. So I picked up compound and shot for a year until last year when my hand healed and I could shoot fingers again. I switched back to recurve and made the U.S. World Field Team and alternate for the World Indoor Team. However, after shooting the Vegas Shoot this year with compound and recurve I decided I wanted to shoot both bows for NAA ranking. I had already decided I would shoot both bows at the Target Nationals, so I needed to divvy out the USAT events between both to meet the requirements. Indoor Nationals was the first step for my compound and decided the AZ Cup would be the second. The rest of the season would be recurve. Famous last words…

USAA: Tell me about shooting at the World Target event; do you treat it any different than just a normal FITA event?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: I was still in a dream-like state when I arrived in New York after making the U.S. Compound Team. I never ever imagined I would win the FITA and OR at the Arizona Cup, Texas Shootout and Gold Cup! Now I was standing on the shooting line at the World Target Championships!

All my FITA’s up to that point, I had trained myself not to fear the consequences of my shooting because I shot only for me. If I shot poorly, surely I would not shrivel up and die. Now for the first time I felt the weight of being on a team and representing the USA. My teammates were all experienced veterans and after having some difficulties on the first day of the FITA, I was afraid I would not be permitted to shoot the team round as the coach and other members questioned my experience. I pushed myself even harder and achieved several personal bests in the FITA and the matches. Now I felt that I had to prove myself to my team and to my country. To my greatest relief, the coach chose me to be the starting shooter in the team round. Since I was a rookie and had no expectations other than to shoot my best, I feel very blessed that I share a world record and have a gold medal.

USAA: Did you do any special training?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: Two weeks prior to the World Target, I moved to the Archery International Training Center in Carbondale, Ill. I worked on my backup bow and practiced shooting matches and having to deal with equipment failure etc. Good thing because I had to use my backup bow for one of the team matches. But not all my training was for the Worlds. I also had to train for the ESPN Great Outdoor Games, which was held just prior to the worlds. The Games required a speed setup and also a considerably faster shooting style than I use for target.

USAA: I don’t know of many archers who in the matter of just a few years are competing at the level you are. Do you credit some of this to your background in martial arts?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: I have made two world teams in four years with two different bows. I guess it is not common, but I have always felt my archery was a continuation of the martial arts I started many years prior to picking up a bow and arrow.

USAA: From what I understand you were a serious student of Japanese swordsmanship and Kyudo (Japanese archery). Can you describe this training?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: When I started martial arts, I quickly realized that contact martial arts was not a field I should explore if I wanted to preserve my kneecaps. So it seemed reasonable that I should fall in love with weapon’s work. The Japanese sword became my top choice from an arsenal of amazing traditional weapons. Along with training to draw, block and cut, I learned the value of becoming “one with your weapon.” This approach to fighting is where I found the most valuable tool for the mental game I currently use. Being so in tune with my katana definitely facilitated my way to winning the World Cup seven years ago. The katana was not a choice weapon for women. The training was rigorous and dangerous as we used live blades and actually cut in practice. Ask me how dangerous someday!

When I started Kyudo, I found myself getting very frustrated because of a handicap in my right shoulder. Regardless of how much I practiced, my shoulder refused to relinquish the flexibility I needed for certain motions in the shooting sequence. I shot four hours every day on a rooftop range at a Shinto shrine in Kamakura with my Japanese bow (yumi). Six months later I beat my entire school at a dojo tourney. I also was the first female non-Japanese to be inducted into the Ogasawara School of Mounted Archery. However, I knew that the beauty that made Kyudo an art would never be found with the imperfections in my form. I never even cared if I hit the target. I only wanted to shoot with beautiful style and form. I most definitely credit my training in martial arts to my advancement in archery. My bow is NOT equipment but an extension of my own being, just as my katana and my yumi were. My form, also unorthodox in many ways, is a style of my own and one that I am committed to.

USAA: You shoot Olympic style recurve, FITA compound, and various traditional bows. As for tournaments, you participate in NAA, 3-D, FITA and NFAA. Am I missing anything?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: I am still new to 3-D but have competed in a couple ASA and IBO tournaments each. I would like to shoot more 3-D but most are on the other side of the Mississippi. Since moving to Colorado, I have enjoyed shooting in CSAA (Colorado State Archery Association) tournaments and have broken nine state records since last December with all three bows. I am also new to the NFAA this year and was surprised to find a whole different organization with a different approach to target and field shooting as compared to the NAA.

USAA: Do you find it difficult switching between styles?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: This is the most frequently asked question. I learned recurve from a coach in Japan, but I taught myself to shoot compound and recently, modern longbow. Strange enough, my styles are so different from each other that I do not find it hard to switch, even in the same tournament and on occasion, the same shooting line. I find it a challenge to shoot all three bows at the same event, kind of like an archery triathlon.

USAA: Do you have a personal coach?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: When I started recurve archery in April of 1999, I had a wonderful coach for six months: Tastuo Nobori. He was my only coach and was very strict about mental and physical conditioning. But the foundations that he laid, I still use today. I’ve never had a compound coach. I just wanted to continue shooting so badly that I figured out how by applying what I learned with recurve to compound.

USAA:What is your training schedule like?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: I try to shoot four hours every day with focus on repetition of my shot sequence. At the end of training I usually do stamina exercises with my bow followed by a short run. I also cross-train by riding 30-50 miles or more a week on my mountain bike. I also jog 5 miles/run, a couple times per week. Every night just before bed I take a hot shower and stretch for 20 min. NO exceptions! I also do a lot of visual training using former pressure situations as the model.

USAA: Would you like to mention anyone in particular for giving you support this year?

Erika “Aya” La Brie: I never dreamed I would have the support that I do in archery. My greatest being from the Lord above. My sponsors are TechnoHunt, Doinker, Sure-Loc, Golden Key Futura, Carter and Specialty Archery. I would like to thank Hoyt USA for making great compound and recurve bows.

USAA: What are your compound and recurve setups?

Compound: 60# Hoyt UltraTec XT3000 Cam 1½, Easton X-10 500 Spin Wings, SureLoc Supreme, Specialty Super Scope 6X, Doinker² Stabilizer,

Recurve: 44# Hoyt Avalon+ and FX Limbs, Easton ACE 570, SureLoc FITA Extreme

She is also on the 2009 National Team for Archery, Recurve Bow:

The 2009 Senior USAT Team includes:

Recurve

Men       Women

Dan Schuller – Mercer, PA   Karen Scavotto – Enfield, CT

Joe McGlyn – Floral Park, NY  Erin Mickelberry – Bothell, WA

Jason McKittrick – Holton, IN  Stephanie Miller – Naperville, IL

Dakota Sinclair – Ridgecrest, CA  Lori Cieslinski – Howell, MI

Ted Holland – Westminster, CO  Kendra Harvey – Rio Rancho, NM

Jake Kaminski – Edgewater, FL  Erika “Aya” Eiffel – Suisun, CA

Timm Hines – Kent, WA   Amanda Nichols – Cheyenne, WY

Tyler Domenech – Holtwood, PA  *Jennifer Nichols – Cheyenne, WY

*Vic Wunderle – Mason City, IL  *Khatuna Lorig – Los Angeles, CA

Here are some more newspaper articles you can check out:

Woman with objects fetish marries Eiffel Tower

Erika La Tour Eiffel, 37, a former soldier who lives in San Francisco, has been in love with objects before. Her first infatuation was with Lance, a bow that helped her to become a world-class archer, she is fond of the Berlin Wall and she claims to have a physical relationship with a piece of fence she keeps in her bedroom.

But it is the Eiffel Tower she has pledged to love, honour and obey in an intimate ceremony attended by a handful of friends.

She has changed her name legally to reflect the bond.

Before returning to Paris for her first wedding anniversary, Mrs La Tour Eiffel visits the Berlin Wall, where her affection for what many Germans see as a symbol of repression leads to an uncomfortable encounter with a member of the staff at the Checkpoint Charlie museum.

She explained that she feels an affinity with the wall: “I am the Berlin Wall. Hate me, try to break me apart, but I will still be here, standing.”

‘I married the Eiffel Tower’

Imagine a world in which people seem hostile while inanimate objects appear friendly – even affectionate. Imagine dreading the touch of another human but longing for a passionate encounter with a large public structure. This is the strange world of the “objectum sexual”– a group of people, mainly women, whose intimate lives revolve around objects with which they say they share romantic and sexual love.

As a documentary film-maker passionate about exploring psychological aspects of human nature, I have made films about bigamists, domestic violence and co-dependent anorexic twins. Modern society is a never-ending source of these stories. It is still exceptional for a father to lock up his daughter for 24 years in a cellar, but scratch the surface and it seems that good personal relationships are rare. To fill their emotional needs, people are increasingly turning to a variety of substitutes: from internet virtual reality and food to… well, objects.

On first meeting, Erika La Tour Eiffel appears extraordinarily ordinary. An ex-US Army soldier, the 36-year-old lives in San Francisco. She is also a former world champion in archery – propelled to success, she believes, by her love for Lance, a bow. She now claims to be married to the Eiffel Tower, following a ceremony with friends last year in Paris, at which she promised eternal love to the iron monument and changed her name legally to reflect the bond. “There is a huge problem with being in love with a public object,” she says sadly. “The issue of intimacy – or rather lack of it – is forever present.”

She is currently married to the Berlin Mauer, which is why her name has changed to Erika Mauer.

My CEO, Mark Harrison, downloaded and installed a new 3D virtual world called Twinity, based in Berlin, that will recreate the world’s coolest cities, starting with Berlin.  Mark loves Berlin more than anything, so he tried exploring his #1 home from his #2 home, Mauritius, and here is his story, as reported in an email to his Berlin posse, I think I committed suicide in Twinity:

Mark Harrison – Mauritius – 22 February 2008, 14:05 — After over a week of trying – endless module and update loading, and countless crashes -  I finally got logged into Twinity.com, a 3D virtual world, a la Second Life, but set in renderings of real cities.  The first of these Twinity cities is Berlin, my favorite city in the world, and my summertime home (and apparently the best-mapped city in the world, as well as the home to Twinity’s headquarters).

I was incarnated as a completely physically average white guy in his late 30′s – quite accurate in many respects except for the color and quantity of hair, and the hue of my eyes.  The statistically average white guy, even in Germany – counter to stereotypes – has brown hair and brown eyes.  Average Guy Mark was dropped into existence at Hackischer Markt, which is a good place to come into the world, since it is essentially the center of the universe, if your universe consists of only Berlin, you are a wired hipster type, and you are a provincial just arrived in this big, big city and instantly lose your bearings if you can’t see the TV tower on Alexanderplatz.

I decided to walk home – to my apartment in Moabit – and take the path along the Spree river that I take on almost a daily basis in my real-life Berlin when I am there.  I walked over to Monbijou park (eventually figuring out how to run by holding down the shift key, which reduced my impatience a bit), bouncing off a few trees, but successfully oozing straight through a pissoir.  I walked over to the railing at the edge of the river, looked around, then took one more step.  To my surprise, I found can walk through railings just as effectively as I can walk through pissoirs.

I fell a couple meters and found myself standing knee-deep in the Spree – not very realistic at that point in the Spree, considering that it’s a major shipping channel, but convenient for me as an avatar in the river.  I could still walk.

I walked along the river a bit, thinking I could perhaps just walk all the way home in the river, maybe climbing up one of the stone staircases I knew should be coming up along the way, if Twinity’s mapping of Berlin is indeed that comprehensive.  After a few steps I came to what I assume was the end of the universe… a wall of beige halfway through Monbijou Park, cutting across the river, and t-ing into the riverside wall of the Boda Museum.  The end-of-the-universe wall was insurmountable, as was the vertical, stone wall bank of the river.  I didn’t really want to spend the rest of my virtual life knee-deep in a fetid central European river, so I hit the “map” button, assuming that there could well be a way to fly, or teleport or something like in Second Life.

This hubris clearly angered the gods.  I guess I should have accepted my humaness and walked back up the river looking for a ladder or something rather than thinking I might game the laws of the universe and escape the limitations of my corporal form.  My world was wiped from existence with a cold Windows dialog box announcing that Twinity was no longer responding to anything I might ask it to do.  Then Vista went looking for Answers as to the Reason for this caprice of the gods, and unfortunately came back, giving me only more questions.  Quite realistic, that part of Twinity.

A restart of the program, and a surprisingly quick login process later (considering logging in took me a week of trying and failing, then a good 10 minutes when it finally worked today), I was again granted a view of my Twinity existence.

I think I am dead.

I have only a setting sun in a golden sky, adorned with a few evening clouds and the pregnant belly of a pale, twilight three-quarter moon.  I have a 360 degree view of my heavens, and when I spin on my axis – my only remaining mobility in my gentle, but solitary, god-forsaken purgatory – the clouds tremble as if in silent horror at the eternity of loneliness I have been damned to by my unforgivable, cardinal sin of suicide (is self-murder through clumsiness officially suicide?  Anyone know a theologian?) in the murky virtual waters of my beloved Berlin.

Life is so short.  So meaningless.  So incomprehensible.

Mark Harrison
Born: February 22nd, 2009 18:52 Berlin, Germany
Died: February 22nd, 2009 19:04 Berlin, Germany
“Well, there’s always LinkedIn.”

I received an invitation from Corbett Santana to attend what sounds like a super-cool inauguration party — if you happen to be celebrating in Berlin, Germany!  I will be in DC for the inauguration but I thought I would pass this on.

Barack Obama Inaugration Celebration/Party in GOYA
Goya, Nollendorfplaz 5 in Berlin
January 20th 2009
Come celebrate with “US”
LIVE from Washington D.C. on BIG screen!
The Inauguration Ceremony of BARACK OBAMA.

• 16:30 Doors open and we will project the entire Ceremony on a large screen in GOYA.
• 16:00 The ceremony starts at and ends at 20:00 (according to a press release from Washington D.C.)
• 20:00 Guest speakers from the different American abroad organizations. There is the POSSIBILITY the Governor Mayor of Berlin will make an appearance. THIS IS NOT CONFIRMED AT THE MOMENT!
• 21:00 Live Music from FOLKADELIC who played at the BABYLON Theater Election Party
• 22:30 DJ “Daddy-O” after playing Funky Soul Classics.

Tickets:  10-,€ & 6-,€ after 21:00
To reserve a ticket send a message to chair@demsinberlin.de
This is a by-partisan event all are welcomed!
There will be an after party at SURPRISE Club & Disco for those of you who find GOYA too expensive & stuffy. A shuttle vehicle will be available to transport you door to door from 22:00 till 12:00. Entrance and shuttle ride is free when you have a ticket for the Event in GOYA.

Dancing on the Table at the Bird, originally uploaded by Chris Abraham.

So, Charlie, John, and I go to a local burger joint in Prenzlauer Berg and then hang around a while drinking some beers and then, all of a sudden, the pH balance of the table next to us changed and I caught the above photo on my Nokia N95. Spontaneous table dancing by an incidental table dancer.

The low light coupled with the bad lighting resulted in a muddy photo. Luckily, I know what I am doing in Photoshop and was able to recover this image. I actually love this photo the best out of all of them in the set. Just another night out in Berlin, Germany. Very odd but not remotely abnormal.

I go to Berlin Hauptbahnhof almost every day. Bahnhof is German for train station and Hauptbahnhof is German for the main train station. Every city has one. DC’s Hauptbahnhof is Union Station, for example, and in many ways comparable.

The Berlin Hauptbahnhof houses my local coffee shop, my local grocery story, etc. To be honest, there is always something going on there. And everything is a promotional or is branded. This is one of the rare train stations that have become a center for children and their families.

German “Hauptbahnhofs” and “Bahnhofs” are known to be dens of prostitution — however, Berlin Hbf is far from that. It is a destination. Also, because there are weird laws that prohibit retail stores from opening on Sunday, everyone comes to the Bahnhofs because only train stations and gas stations are licensed to do business on Sundays.

So, these stations are packed with all sorts of stores and are packed on Sundays by the people who want to do some shopping on the Lord’s Day.

I was lucky enough to be a part of Jonny’s German Par-Tay. His take on Berlin? “Hey, I enjoyed Berlin too. But it also gave me the willies.” Fair enough. We spent a night carousing in Berlin with John Brownlee at The Bird over many beers. Was a good time had by all. And, as Jonny always says, jonnygoldstein.com!

The Deutsche Bank Store of the Future, originally uploaded by Chris Abraham.

When I arrived in Berlin, my buddy Mark told me that I had to follow him halfway across town, past dozens of banks, including a number of Deutsche Banks, from where we were in Moabit down to Friedrichstraße, south of Straße des 17. Juni, to one particular Deutsche Bank called Die Deutsche Bank der Zukunft — “Deutsche Bank of the Future.”

Well, the service is superb! There is a cafe with coffee and food. When you interact with a bank manager, it is in the cafe with personal service. Also, the cafe is open to the public, there is a boutique store in the front with high-end gifts, including gifts from Harrods, strangely enough. I have always been treated like I am rich and important when I am there, no matter how I am dressed or how unshaven. Everyone speaks English, as well.

Not only that, but I am told that, in general, service sucks in Germany, especially in Berlin, especially the service offered in Banks. Maybe a hold-over from Soviet-era bureaucracy — maybe all of the bureaucratic former Eastern Germans ended up manning all of the Berlin banks. Well, that is not the case with the Deutsche Bank of the Future!

Die Deutsche Bank der Zukunft
(Private & Business Clients)
Friedrichstraße 181
10117 Berlin
Germany
+49 30 460611-0
+49 30 460611-99 Fax
Bank Code: 10070024
Swift Code: DEUTDEBBXXX / DEUTDEDBBER
Opening Hours
Monday – Tuesday: 10:00 – 20:00
Wednesday: 10:00 – 18:00
Thursday – Saturday: 10:00 – 20:00

I don’t know how many people have actually been to Berlin — and with my friends, I am sure most of them; however, everyone always asks where I live. I guess you can say I live in Moabit, Berlin, or Tiergarten. Heck, I think it is important to just show you… you’ll get a much better idea.

Größere Kartenansicht

:-( All three bikes got stolen last night. Fuck.

The three bikes in question were my SOMA Delancey single speed and Mark’s old reliable Giant mountain bike, a bike that Mark has owned for probably more than a decade, and a spare green piece-of-shit

Well, I really loved my SOMA Delancey single speed and can highly recommend getting one. Since they sell the Delancey as a frame, I got to build the bike up from the frame, and really bought some amazing components for her.

I really had her dolled up with a Miche crank, a Chris King headset, a Brooks Professional saddle, a Shimano 105 brake, a Salsa stem and seat tube, and a gorgeous wee two-finger brake lever.  She was nimble but she was not a fixed-gear bike, she was a single-speed.  I will miss her and I am sorry that she was stolen.

May she rest in peace.

Mark pointed me to this article in the NY Times with this simple comment, “Berlin really is the best city in the world.” Anybody game to checking this place out? I have yet to go out dancing at all in Berlin. For me, it has been 100% dinner parties, lounges, bars, restaurants, and homes. It looks like my first Berlin nightclub experience will surely need to be this democratic, egalitarian, Prenzlauer Berg night spot, Clärchen’s Ballhaus.

There is no door policy at the nearly 100-year-old Clärchen’s Ballhaus, no bored-looking blond Berlin fashion design student dressed like an American Apparel ad surveying the late-night crowd. There is a coat check, run by the same nattily dressed mustached gentleman who’s been running it since the 1960s, when Clärchen’s was a dance hall in Communist East Berlin. His colleague Klaus Schliebs, dressed in a tuxedo every weekend night, takes your ticket after you’ve paid the cover charge of 3 euros, about $5 at $1.60 to the euro.

All come all served.

“As long as you don’t look like you have a seriously high blood-alcohol level, we’ll let you in,” says the owner Christian Schulz.

The democracy at the door is immediately evident inside, where couples of varying ages and sartorial styles dance with abandon to songs from Jimi Hendrix to Abba to the schlager singer Udo Jürgens played by a cover band. Mothers from the Prenzlauer Berg neighborhood, ignoring the baby sitter’s calls for just a few minutes longer, groove with Italian foreign-exchange students and older men dressed in their Sunday suits. Cellophane streamers contributed by a stage designer from the nearby Volksbühne theater lend the place an “Enchantment Under the Sea” vibe. The atmosphere is flirtatious, uninhibited and eclectic.

“You’re there, and you think, you’re in an Austrian film of the late 1980s,” says Thomas Demand, a Berlin-based photographer and installation artist. Like most Clärchen’s regulars, Mr. Demand is an after-midnight guest, when dinner has been cleared from the white cloths of the restaurant tables, leaving only empty coffee cups and half-full bottles of prosecco.

“People come here with the hope that they will find the love of their life,” said Mr. Schulz, who took over Clärchen’s (Auguststrasse, 24; 49-30-282-92-95; www.ballhaus.de) in 2005 with his partner, David Regehr, and transformed it from a faltering restaurant to a wildly successful dinner and late-night dance club.

A veteran of the theater, Mr. Schulz sees Clärchen’s as the stage on which a night’s adventures are improvised. There are some star players as well: Willem Defoe, Bjork, the artist Matthew Barney, Charlotte Rampling and other names Mr. Schulz is too tired to tick off, have come to Clärchen’s. But they come because they can, unperturbed, perform elegant tangos, grind to James Brown or drink wine upstairs amid the cracked mirrors and haunted atmosphere of the Mirror Salon. No longer the main attractions, they dance on parquet made sticky by spilled alcohol and become bit players in the late-night show.

There are Berlin Schnitzel wars — restaurants all over Berlin are vying for who can make the largest, thinnest, lightest, most savory Weinerschnitzel. It is a really competitive thing going on and while I do enjoy them, they’re now becoming as thin as air and as large as an elephant ear, so it is very embarrassing and and absurd to see them coming in on plates to tables! Here’s an example as to how big they have become — it is pretty insane!

(Image via Red Sky Computing)

Dinner in Berlin 12.12.07, originally uploaded by Chris Abraham.

A night out with friends in Berlin from back in December, 2007. A very fine night and how odd to actually have been a gray beard.

Eat Pizza in Berlin at Due Forni, originally uploaded by Chris Abraham.

If you’re hungry, thirsty, and want to look at hipsters in their native environment — and cute girl-hipsters, too — then you need to drop into the Kreuzberg watering hole, Due Forni, which is Italian for “two ovens.” It is delicious and cheap and fresh and yummy. It is also loud and large and vibrant and always full. Make sure you visit at least once and don’t be afraid of making it your home. Berlin waiters need to be dated and seduced — the longer the relationship the better they will treat you, no matter how well you tip. (Adresse: Schönhauser Allee 12, 10119 Berlin)