My advice to those of you who believe you are having a secret love affair or have had a discrete one night stand… (via Hill Mole)
My advice to those of you who believe you are having a secret love affair or have had a discrete one night stand: 1) it takes two to tango and if one of you confides with or brags to anyone (guys brag and women confide) it isn’t a secret 2) if your secret love affair or one-night-stand also involves infidelity, you aren’t merely keeping a secret, you’re being a liar; furthermore, you are also the target of one or more interested parties.
It is much easier keeping a secret, being discrete, or maintaining privacy if you keep below the radar; keeping below the radar is easier when you’re unattached because there is little interest in either outcome or eventuality.
When you are cheating on a spouse or significant other, you are lying to someone, being private from someone — someone who knows you even better in some cases than you know yourself.
When one maintains discretion, when one maintains privacy, it is essential to spend as much energy as possible avoiding attention or from bringing attention to yourself.
Once you’re under scrutiny, human nature makes it nearly impossible to remain discrete, to keep the secret, to keep on message, to maintain believability, and to keep from contradicting yourself or paint yourself into a corner.
As long as you can 1) guarantee that your partner is as discrete as you are and doesn’t brag, have an agenda, or confide in friends 2) guarantee your spouse or SO trusts you so completely that you will never be scrutinized or targeted 3) and guarantee that your cover story is plausible and absolutely simple to maintain, you’re golden.
Then and only then would I recommend it.
Being a sociopath wouldn’t hurt, either.
Remember: the lie, the privacy, and the discrete nature of the affair hinges on your weakest link: your lover. Don’t assume that pillowtalk and postcoital promises are worth anything. Come on, soldier, you’re smarter than that!
(I was inspired to write more of my novel, Hill Mole, by tonight’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy, From a Whisper to a Scream so please, no need to check up on me, although thanks for caring)
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Never understood why people did this. Just ditch the one you’re with first then move on to the next.
I cannot even maintain one love affair and a growing company.