If you own cats I won’t visit your house, I won’t date you, I won’t come over, I won’t marry you, I won’t even stand next to you if I can help it. I certainly won’t sleep with you. Okay, there are people like Stephanie Soper who I will visit even though she has cats, but that’s very rare.
If you want to break up with me, buy a cat.
I have contempt and hatred for cat people. Nothing personal.
My best friend, Mark, is a cat person, and I have contempt and hatred for him. And he will surely be the best man at my wedding and if he buys a cat (proving, finally, that he is in fact Evil and also a spinster — because only lonely and insane spinsters own cats, right) I will never cast a shadow on his front door. Or even in the late evening.
Its not just the allergy — and allergy based on a constant spitting on oneself — but its also the offensive indolence and insolence that I see as soundtrack to a cat’s life.
They are the familiars of all that is Evil. I am surprised that the Salem witch trials didn’t include lots and lots of drowning of cats (although I think it has a lot to do with how difficult it is to get a bloody pussy into any body of water — and all the scratching and so forth — the Puritans, when all is said and done, were a bunch of poofs anyway).
Okay, now that I have that off my chest, I have to admit that that picture has given me hives and I have turned the color of a radish and can scarcely breathe.
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I pulled one of these out of my boyfreinds naval during a reach around.
Your “I hate Cats” site was like a bit of therapy for me. I had no idea anyone felt the way my husband and I do. Thanks! Now if I could just figure out how to keep the poop machines (my new neighbors four cats out of my yard-crap EVERYWHERE!). Sigh. Thanks!
Before I actually lived with a cat I didn’t care much for the lazy, insolent, indolent creatures either. Then I moved in with a roomate for my last summer of college. Her cat had just the ideal amount of friendliness. She would always come to the door to greet you, frequently stop by to see what you were doing and give you a friendly “meow”, sometimes just sit nearby and watch you, and always liked to be petted or have her belly rubbed. She was cute, too. I was always amused to see her run and hide under my bed during a thunderstorm. She totally changed my opinion about cats.
Pamala, my mom felt the same way about the neighborhood cats who thought her garden would make a good litterbox, until our one neighbor who had four of them moved away, and a mouse got into her house for the first time. Apparently the rodent population had increased when the cats left.
I understand that not all people are cat people or cat lovers for that fact but to say they are the devils own is being a bit off the edge. I have owned dogs and cat since I was a boy growing up on a farm in Missouri. I am now in my senior years and my wife and I of 40 years have never been without a cat. As far as I am concerned a cat or a dog will give you something in return that most people will never give and that is unconditional love in return for a place to live and food to eat. People will do you personal harm and sometimes worse for the same food and shelter. It is up to you how you feel about cats but I personally prefer them over any human.
You have a strange hate for cats and people who own them. Maybe you should just face the fact that they’re just animals, not the source of all evil in this world.
Or, I could just be being humorous, maybe. Naw.
dude..the was gay