Chris Abraham

In a country that is constantly moving to the right, why do American drivers insist on camping in the passing lane so far to the left?

I will not go into it right now but my only real pet peeve is when drivers camp in the passing lane. Driving down here to Chapel Hill from DC, I have been relegated to doing what I have been doing for years but is illegal and unsafe, which is to use the underpopulated slow traffic lane as a passing lane. This would be ideal if we were in England where the far right lane is in fact the passing lane, but here in America, the left lane of a multi-lane motorway is for passing.

Larry Nolan calls these people “lane monitors.”

When I can actually pass on the left, the moment I pass, I signal and merge in with traffic, which is to say the next lane over. The left lane is not a traffic lane with the exception of the left turn exit.

In France, where I love driving the most, there is yet another indication which is an indication to pass the driver in the passing lane.

This is done by indicating a left using the left turn signal while approaching the camper in the left lane. Invariably, this results in the camper merging right, allowing the flow of traffic to remain constant and safe.

The current American system doesn’t work, which is to say flashing the brights.

The only thing that does work but which is amazingly dangerous and I don’t recommend it, is bearing down on the camper and riding his bumper. This generally does one or both of two things:

1) Shocks the pratt out of his cell phone call, out of his diet soda haze, out of his DVD-watching, and out of his fiddling with the radio to realize that he’s going 60 in a 60 zone, which is not passing. Generally, he speed up at least a little faster than the two other cars going the same speed next to him. Mind you, the far-right lane is usually empty so I generally just go around, which, as I mentioned, is unsafe and illegal.

2) Eventually makes him merge right, especially when you are driving a Very Tall Land Rover with a 2″ lift thanks to Old Man Emu shocks. In most cases, the drenching of light shakes the driver out of his diet soda haze, out of his DVD-watching, and out of his fiddling with the radio.

Sadly, both tactics work elegantly. But both are exceedingly illegal and unsafe. Generally behaving in this way results in scaring old ladies off the expressway, but it also results in making a lot of drivers indignant. Most lane monitors are indignant because they in fact truly believe that they are being mindful and lawful citizens.

But, all I can say is live free and drive.

Mind you, I am still considering what the solution may be. Any suggestions?