A new intern sent this around to the entire staff where I work. It is called the Ladder Theory. It riffs on the entire When Harry Met Sally “men and women can’t be friends.” I personally think it is a load of bollocks and would like to know what the consensus is on this “treatise.”
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Load of bollocks written by a pissed off kid who doesn’t understand women or men.
It’s true. Just because the guy that wrote it seems like some repressed kid with too much time on his hands, doesn’t mean he’s wrong. And really, people are such a bunch of defensive liars that I doubt a lot of people who you polled about this gave you a 100% straight answer. The guys probably didn’t want to look like assholes and the women didn’t want to let you know that this guy’s “theory” is more accurate than you think.
We would all like to think that we are more complex than this theory suggests, and that love and attraction is more nuanced and deeper, but in reality, Ladder Theory does an impeccable job of explaining everything I’ve observed in the world of relationships. And in the end, that is all we can ask of a good theory. Does it explain what has been observed and is it useful in predicting future observations? I think it passes those tests. Maybe we really are just that simple. I’m buyin’ it.
The guy who wrote the article makes a good case. I have to disagree with him though, because he is forgetting that just having random sex with women does not make one a whole being. If sex truly is our only drive, then why do buddist monks find happiness in denial of pressure? I don’t pretend to have all of the answers, but neither does the ladder theory.
I agree with it as a whole, this is from much personal experience. Especially in the “Cuddle B**ch” regime and ladder jumping. Women send many mixed signals, and will tell you you’re a great guy, and attractive, and that they don’t understand why you don’t have to fend women off with a club. Then when they themselves are asked, the answer is “no, just as a friend”. Or when asked what your chances are will say “50/50″ instead of “not a chance in hell”. As you can see, this can cause some confusion. Especially when they are content to let you pay for a time out at the movies repeatedly. In today’s lingo you do not say “hey want to go on a date to the theatre” you say “hey, you wanna catch a movie later?”.
The Dual Ladders of Girls is extremely correct. They will even snuggle and nuzzle with you, though they have no desire to go beyond it. In order to get the attention they desire. Something men do not do without interest in the person they’re snuggling with (though I won’t deny that there are exceptions, there always are). This will cause a guy to attempt a jump, and this can be a crushing blow to the ego. Especially when strung along by certain ambiguous words or phrases.